It's scary being scared all the time
Only when I'm alone I feel safe.

Where are you?

I'm sure you can't of gone far...



But it's the anticipation that gets me...

Every time!



I just don't know what to do with myself I guess

But would finding you really make that feeling go away?



(Or will we both just be feeling it?)


Possibly now worsened by the presence of company

Or magnified with the abundance of misdirection??


These feelings make me antsy

So much that when I look to my surroundings and try to feel you, I become lost again



I want to walk through the empty street calling your name

To which of course I will find no reply



No scampering shadows in open doorways or looming wisp of hair by the window sill...

I just want to find you



To cry out My love! My love! I've found you!

But where will we go when I do?



I just don't know

But still...



**I miss you

The truth is... I really do want you all to like me

To judge me and hold me to your own standard

To be ridiculed in a loving sort of way

And more over just connect to the real human inside

And...

I want you to take me for granted too, so I can be needed again

I want you to feel me

To share my inner most thoughts

...But when the time comes that I must face you

I want you to reject my humble soul!

To cast me out for all I have done

I need you to hate me.

To chase me running through the streets

Damning my name to the sky!

Immortalising and dehumanising me
                                                              ­                  
**I will live forever!