long were the nights when i would wait for your messages even after we called things off. now i'm waiting for someone else's and he's been a good distraction from thoughts of you, though of course, i still miss you. i guess it really is easy to get lost in your own world with someone so i have a good feeling that it'll be less difficult moving on from you. but don't worry, i won't put my guard down unless i'm fully healed because you can't fully love someone when you haven't healed from the past and that's what you failed to do when you pursued me, but now i know better. i won't make the same mistakes you did and hurt other people for not loving them the same way they do me.

the smell of cigarettes
when our lips collided,
the taste of alcohol
when our tongues glided;
i almost thought of you

his gentle demeanor
when we're out wandering,
aggressive in manner
when he's pinning me down;
i almost thought of you

his rough yet tender hands
leaving no skin untouched,
his mellow yet raspy voice
tempting me too much;
i almost said your name

his tan skin, glowing
brown orbs, lust-hooded
corners filled with moaning
upon reaching paradise,
i almost said your name

i tasted you on his lips,
smelled your perfume on his,
felt you in his embrace,
saw your eyes in his; and
i almost thought he's you
he gives me déjà vu.

kung hahayaan ko ang aking puso magdesisyon,
tatakbo pa rin ako sa iyong mga bisig
para yakapin ka kahit ako pa'y mapaso
pilit kong pasisiklabin ang liyab
na malapit nang mamatay
kahit na masaktan ay ayos lang kung ikaw—
ikaw na bukod tanging sakit na kaya kong tiisin.

siguro nga'y ako'y tagahatid lang sa'yo papunta sa tamang tao at ika'y ganoon din sa'kin.

maari bang humiling sa huling pagkakataon? pwede bang dalhin mo na 'ko sa kanya, nang ika'y malimutan na?

it is you,
only you—
the one that i love.

you, whose eyes hold a thousand galaxies
that held me captive once they shine on me
you, whose tender voice soothes away the pain
you, who smiles with a dimple
that reaches the depths of my heart
you, with that shy yet charming personality,
luring me deeper into a labyrinth
i never want to escape

even if you think you don’t deserve this love,
even if you don't believe my descriptions,
all the more i will say them again
for you are worth all the million beautiful words
simply because you are you.

Maraming posibleng mangyari sa loob ng isang buwan
Agosto, ako'y sigurado na hindi sayo titibok ang puso
Ngunit pagsapit ng Setyembre, damdami'y biglang nagbago
Ngayon lang ba natanto na noong Hulyo pa napukaw ang damdamin?
Sa pag-iingat sa aking puso ay tuluyan na ngang nahulog
Bigla na lang natakot na sa'kin ay ika'y mawala
Kaya nama'y walang ‘sing tamis ang ating pag-iibigan pagdating ng Oktubre
Kahit nagtatalo ay mas nangibabaw ang pagmamahalan
Subalit lalo lang lumala at nagkalabuan noong Nobyembre
Ako'y nakapagsulat ng tula para sa'yo, mahal
‘Yon nga ba ang nagsalba sa ating dalawa?
Disyembre, alam kong pagod ka na
Gayunpaman ay pilit kong diniligan ang ating nalalantang pagsinta
Ngunit imbis na diligan ay aking binuhusan kaya naman ika'y nalunod
At nang ating salubungin ang bagong taon,
ako nga'y tuluyan **** binitawan
Hindi na sinuyo, wala ng paramdam

Masyadong mabilis ang mga pangyayari
‘Di malaman kung saan gusto bumalik—
noong Hunyo bago sa'yo'y nagkagusto
upang pigilan nang mas maaga ang nararamdaman
o Disyembre upang maitama ang aking pagkakamali
Hindi naman inaakala na ganito magtatapos
noong tayo'y magkalapit noong Abril
Hindi na ba tayo masasalba ng aking tula sa pangalawang pagkakataon?

Maraming posibleng mangyari sa loob ng isang linggo
Marahil ay iyong pinagpatuloy ang iyong paglakbay
Habang ako'y nanatili sa lugar kung sa'n ako'y iyong iniwan

maybe it was a mistake
letting you strip me naked
my body exposed and my soul bare
when you couldn't do the same

but maybe i should've been patient
and didn't let these emotions run wild
but we can't really love each other
when we haven't healed from the past
(can't i be the one to heal you?)

maybe it was easy blaming you
so i could move forward
without ever looking back
for i can't break your walls

maybe we're both at fault
all those times we said some things
we didn't mean and regretted later on
where did we ever go wrong?

maybe we didn't try hard enough
and that we gave up too soon
is it even possible, love?
to water each other and grow together?

but through all of my maybe's
and the times we hurt and get hurt
the only thing i didn't regret—
was meeting and falling for you