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max Jan 2021
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ᵢ wₐₛ ᵣₑₐdy ₜₒ ₗₐy dₒwₙ ₘy ₗᵢfₑ fₒᵣ yₒᵤ ₐₙd yₒᵤ dᵢdₙ’ₜ ₑᵥₑₙ ₖₙₒw ᵢ ₑₓᵢₛₜₑd
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An Invitation
max Aug 2021
An Invitation
I love
The way the rain
Can be so soft
Gently tapping at my window
An invitation
It extends in the form of soft drops
Dripping down my face
And my hands
As I dance with you
And yet
The torrential downpour
So devastating
It drowns
It molds
It rises and ebbs and flows and
Fills your lungs
Like sweet honey
In the stomach of the bear
So completely
I cannot breathe
It causes the wind to howl and scream
And shake the birds from their trees
And the lightning to flash
And scream inside
Every nerve of my fingertips
And every curve of my bones
It arches my spine
And it feels divine
As the rain cries for me
From the sky
I wonder
Why the invitation was so welcoming
Yet maybe it was heavenly
Because heaven is where I’m headed
Now
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untitled
max Dec 2020
untitled
i am entangled in you
your skin mingles with mine
legs intertwined and knotted like weeds
poisonous tastes linger forever,
you whisper that you love me

and i die slowly as i intended

the blood drips off our wrists, tainted with sweat
the smell of it stings
rotting
you tasted me
ate me
consumed me and i felt whole as i was being ripped apart
limb to limb i satiated you
you whisper that i'm being such a good boy
you touch me
slowly
numbness takes me over
you kiss my lips, dead as they are
and bury me in a place no one has ever seen
nor will they ever

i die slowly as i intended
i have no idea what happened, will probably delete soon
#death
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Untitled
max Jun 2021
Untitled
if being sad is a bad thing
why does she look so beautiful when she cries
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max Jan 2021
Untitled
Do you realize the extent of your white privilege?
When watching our friends of color get murdered doesn’t make you livid?
If this were for them, there’d be bodies lining the streets
Meanwhile our president laughs and spreads lies with his tweets
Trump is an idiot
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Untitled
max May 2021
Untitled
I have spent
My entire life
Trying to figure out
How to be everybody else
To the point where
I don’t even know who I am anymore
#autism #masking #loneliness
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Untitled
max Mar 2021
Untitled
Burying my heart
In your hands
Like it’s a treasure map
Showing my love for you
Hiding my kiss
In your mouth
Like it’ll be the last
Thing I ever do
Lowering myself into the ground
I won’t even make a sound
Burying myself
So you don’t have to
#death #love #bury
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Untitled
max Jan 2021
Untitled
The world has never been emptier
Than it is right now
Because you’re not in it
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max Dec 2020
Untitled
Being alive sure was a hell of a lot easier when I didn’t wanna be
Now I have to worry about college and sh*t **** ✌️
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Untitled
max Dec 2020
Untitled
ashes to ashes
and dust to dust
we know no real pain
until we find trust
then that trust is broken
and so are our bones
i entered this world crying
and i'll leave it
alone
#loneliness
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Untitled
max Feb 2021
Untitled
I would hate nothing more
Than for someone to say
‘I would die for you’
As if it’s romantic
As if it’s supposed to impress me
I could never exist in a world where you aren’t by my side
So don’t be a fool and take that away from me
Idk will delete soon probably
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Untitled
max Mar 2021
Untitled
Cause baby you’re as beautiful  
As a flower at a funeral
Not wilted or dead, at all
We humans envy your perseverance
But your lack of appearance
At the wake sure takes some gall
And I wonder baby blue
Why do they call you violet?
Evergreen is green forever
Till the winds get violent
When life gets tough
You jump ship
Decorate the grave
As if the person in it gives a ****
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Untitled
max Apr 2021
Untitled
You are the picture that paints 998 words because ‘I’m sorry’ just isn’t in your vocabulary
I dont even know dude
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Untitled
max Dec 2020
Untitled
My everything was nothing to you
But your nothing was everything to me
#nothing
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Untitled
max Dec 2020
Untitled
He
Held me
When I was afraid

He
Listened to me
When I was upset

He
Comforted me
When I was crying

He
Left me
When I needed him most

He
Remains here, still
An empty shell of what once was
A pitiful looking ghost
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Untitled
max Feb 2021
Untitled
I am everything I hate in everyone else
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max Jan 2021
Untitled
I texted you last night
Turns out I’m still blocked
I just wanted to tell you
My worlds been rocked

I had a dream we were together
Went on a perfect date
But I woke up alone
Cause your feelings were fake

I can’t text you if I need help
Cant kiss you when I’m lonely
I just wish I’d given you the chance
To really, truly know me
#ex
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Untitled
max Dec 2020
Untitled
I hate
That I’m kinda ******* glad
You broke her heart

It made me happy
That the person who treated me poorly
Got poorly treated by you
But is it worth
What she’s going through?
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Untitled
max Dec 2020
Untitled
After I die
I know you’ll say
‘I had no idea’
Maybe if you looked a little deeper
You’d see why I was bleeding
The signs were there all along
But you don’t care, do you?
Cause I’m not you
And you only care about yourself.
#death #unloved
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Untitled
max May 2021
Untitled
hey
I just wanted to thank you
For existing

Even now
That your existence
Is over
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max Dec 2020
Untitled
If
I
Was
Lower
Functioning
Would you
Still
Love me?
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Untitled
max Jul 2021
Untitled
The boundaries we have built
The skin and flesh and blood
That you hide behind
I am unable to mend your broken bones
And set my hand upon the soft, beating thrum of your heart
I am confined to my wrinkles and my scars
I am entrapped by my scars and bruises
I am unable to touch you the way we only may be able to in death
Or bones caress each other
Our teeth gnashing violently as we fight for dominance
I will never find it possible to break beyond your walls
I am unable to full understand the complexities of your mind
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Untitled
max Feb 2021
Untitled
Life gave me lemons
A fitting gift
To squeeze into the wounds you left on me.
#gifts
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Untitled
max May 2021
Untitled
When I found that I had been destroyed by you
My heart swelled with the warmth and comfort of finally having a purpose
I am empty
You have consumed me
I have never felt more complete
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Untitled
max Jan 2021
Untitled
It I shot myself in the head
Would blood and brains come pouring out
Or would flowers start to grow instead?
Are my thoughts too impure
Since I have nothing left to live for
Will the weeds of evil thoughts begin to root me to the floor?
I think there’s a little love here
If you give it room
Let’s find some air to breathe
And some flowers to bloom.
#bloom
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Untitled
max Apr 2021
Untitled
I spill rainbows from my pockets
To distract you from the storms and shadows leaking from my lips
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Untitled
max Jan 2021
Untitled
I could write something beautiful
And poetic
About his lack of love for me
But the emptiness
Consumes all my senses
And I fear all the words that come to mind when I think of him are

‘How could you?’
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Untitled
max Aug 2021
Untitled
All of my friends
Left me again how
Odd of them to say they’d
Never leave and yet
End things so abruptly.
A L O N E
#alone #poetry #mine
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Untitled
max Dec 2020
Untitled
I wonder if I’ll feel it
When you die
After I’ve already passed
The second death
After you’re gone
No one will remember me anymore
I hope it doesn’t hurt
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Untitled
max Jan 2021
Untitled
Steal the
Air from
My lungs

And the
Heart beating
Loudly in
My chest

Kiss me
Like you
Missed me

And you’re
The one who
Knows me
Best

Scare me
Scar me
And hide
My thoughts
So alarming

Hide me
Cry with me
And maybe

Just maybe

Love me too
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Untitled
max Mar 2021
Untitled
I am a stranger to my own existence
Yet I fall victim to the delusion
That I have control over it

I am numb to the gravity of my life
Yet I insist that it is mine to take

I am detached from my own body
Yet I reprimand it
Ashamed of its shape and pallor

I am nothing to myself
And yet something to the weeds
That will one day feed from the dirt covering my grave
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Untitled
max Dec 2020
Untitled
There was a time
In this universe
Where we coexisted
Simultaneously
Breathed the same air
Spoke the same words
Walked the same steps
But I didn’t know you yet
I call those times the dark days
Because my life means nothing if you’re not in it
#existence #love
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Untitled
max Nov 2020
Untitled
In spite of everything
The earth still spins
Baby I need room to breathe
It hurts to think
But the world keeps falling down
It's like
The world doesn't revolve around me
Or something
Maybe I've always been nothing
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Untitled
max Dec 2020
Untitled
The red flag
Was painted in blood
Across your face

The warning signs
Disguised as butterflies
Fluttering in empty space

The people who told me
To step away
Never understood

While most of you was bad
You were still the only thing remaining
That felt good
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Untitled
max Feb 2021
Untitled
Pick the rose
Prepare for the thorn
Love the thorn
Like it’s the softest petal
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Untitled
max Jan 2021
Untitled
I wanted to give you back
All the things you left in my house
After you left me

But the memories
Are persistent
And ever-existing in every crevice
Of the old home

They will not fit inside the box
And rather choose to crawl into my dreams
And remind me of what I’ve lost
#memories
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Untitled
max Feb 2021
Untitled
I wonder do I look
As empty as I feel
And is anything I feel
Even real?
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Untitled
max Feb 2021
Untitled
You are the song I haven’t written yet
Because it was inspired by the most beautiful thing in earth
And I don’t have the strength to put it into words

You are the story I have written on the insides of my arms
With a marker who’s ink is red
You are the story I want to read to my grandchildren before they go to bed

You are the moon who’s scars I want to see up close
And remind you that just because the sun is so bright
Doesn’t mean you deserve to choke

You are the shadow waiting for me beyond the smoke

You are my first love and my dying breath
You’re the painting I left unfinished
Because I barely even know you yet

But I hope you realize how beautiful you really are.
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Untitled
max Feb 2021
Untitled
Oh how to fill the hole in the heart of a man who has lost the universe
How to satisfy the needs of a creature who has kissed goodnight to every dying star
And laid his hand upon the curvature of the end of time

Oh how to be enough for someone who has everything and cares so little for it
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Untitled
max Feb 2021
Untitled
If I faltered
For just a moment
Standing at the altar
Would you notice
Or would you be
Far too busy
Looking past me
Looking at him
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Untitled
max Feb 2021
Untitled
Funny how the little things sting the most
When everyone you love has turned to ghosts
And this aching faking feeling starts to take your bones
And in trying to be happy you might have overdosed
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Untitled
max Apr 2021
Untitled
I gave her the moon
And every single star
As a token of my adoration
And she gave me
In return
The one freckle
On her nose
That I always stated at
And admired

As a thank you for the blazing center of the sun
And my charred skin
She gave me the eyelash
I swept off of her cheek

In reply
To my manny sonnets and songs
Commending her on her beauty
She gave me the single
Glistening year
Soft and dewy as it cascading down the curvature of her porcelain skin
And settled on her lips

The ones I will kiss one last time
Before they are kept six feet away from
Underneath my toes

The toes that still twitch in pain at the memory of the hot coals I walked on when she was busy kissing him.
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Untitled
max May 2021
Untitled
I haven’t spoken a word
In several hours
Nobody has noticed
They do not care
They enjoy my silence

They only notice me when I annoy them
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max May 2021
Untitled
You always used to tell me
How much you didn’t deserve me
Like it was a good thing
But in reality you just deserved so much better.
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max May 2021
Untitled
In a world
Where being one in a million
Is a bad thing
Because being just one
Of a million things you love
Is a sad thing
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Untitled
max May 2021
Untitled
When did you figure out exactly
How to
Integrate yourself into my
Soul? You consume every
Percentage of my being, you are now
Everything I ever needed to
Rid myself of in order to maintain
Sanity.
w h i s p e r s
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Untitled
max Jul 2021
Untitled
It’s sound sick
And twisted
And melancholy

But god
I hope you miss me so much when I die

I hope you collapse in agony as my casket is lowered into the ground
I hope you plant new flowers once a week on my headstone
And wear black in mourning
I hope you never take another lover
I hope even the thought of someone touching you the way I do now makes you weep

I hope that
If nothing at all
I meant enough to you that
You break down your walls
And stop guarding your emotions
And let yourself feel the pain of my death

I pray that
Maybe if I can succeed
I’m letting you down slowly
As o fade away into nothingness
Then maybe I had a purpose

Morbid, I know
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Untitled
max Jan 2021
Untitled
I often feel
Like an apple
Red, and shiny
Perfect

Until you came along
And took a bite out of me
But decided I was too sour
And left me to rot

But I will never be whole again
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Untitled
max Jan 2021
Untitled
You are the sun

And I am a star

Small and distant

Wishing one day I could shine as brightly as you
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max Jan 2021
Untitled
You are the monster
From my childhood nightmares
Except now you lay atop my bed
Rather then under it
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