max: Poems

1.4k · Apr 2021

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You are the picture that paints 998 words because ‘I’m sorry’ just isn’t in your vocabulary

I dont even know dude

1.3k · Feb 2021

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max Feb 2021

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Loving her
Was so difficult
It was like smoking a cigarette
Because I hated it so much
But craved it every day
Needed her taste on my tongue
I loved the rhythm
The consistency
Hated the mornings after
And the disease in my lungs
Even though she smelled so sweet
It was like she poisoned me every day
Yet I kept coming back for more

870 · Jan 2021

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max Jan 2021

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I texted you last night
Turns out I’m still blocked
I just wanted to tell you
My worlds been rocked

I had a dream we were together
Went on a perfect date
But I woke up alone
Cause your feelings were fake

I can’t text you if I need help
Cant kiss you when I’m lonely
I just wish I’d given you the chance
To really, truly know me

#ex

694 · May 2021

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max May 2021

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I have spent
My entire life
Trying to figure out
How to be everybody else
To the point where
I don’t even know who I am anymore

#autism #masking #loneliness

677 · Jan 2021

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max Jan 2021

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I could write something beautiful
And poetic
About his lack of love for me
But the emptiness
Consumes all my senses
And I fear all the words that come to mind when I think of him are

‘How could you?’

573 · Aug 2021

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max Aug 2021

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All of my friends
Left me again how
Odd of them to say they’d
Never leave and yet
End things so abruptly.

A L O N E

#alone #poetry #mine

561 · Feb 2021

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max Feb 2021

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I am everything I hate in everyone else

495 · Feb 2021

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Like I know every relationship has its ups and downs but loving you is like riding a rollercoaster with no brakes

484 · Mar 2021

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Burying my heart
In your hands
Like it’s a treasure map
Showing my love for you
Hiding my kiss
In your mouth
Like it’ll be the last
Thing I ever do
Lowering myself into the ground
I won’t even make a sound
Burying myself
So you don’t have to

#death #love #bury

422 · Jan 2021

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max Jan 2021

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Did you notice it was raining?
The day that we first met
I wonder if that was god crying
Because he knew what would happen next.

🌧🌧

#rain #crying #soulmate

418 · Jan 2021

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max Jan 2021

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It I shot myself in the head
Would blood and brains come pouring out
Or would flowers start to grow instead?
Are my thoughts too impure
Since I have nothing left to live for
Will the weeds of evil thoughts begin to root me to the floor?
I think there’s a little love here
If you give it room
Let’s find some air to breathe
And some flowers to bloom.

#bloom

350 · Feb 2021

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Life gave me lemons
A fitting gift
To squeeze into the wounds you left on me.

#gifts

291 · Jun 2021

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if being sad is a bad thing
why does she look so beautiful when she cries

290 · Dec 2020

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max Dec 2020

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My everything was nothing to you
But your nothing was everything to me

#nothing

284 · Dec 2020

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max Dec 2020

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After I die
I know you’ll say
‘I had no idea’
Maybe if you looked a little deeper
You’d see why I was bleeding
The signs were there all along
But you don’t care, do you?
Cause I’m not you
And you only care about yourself.

#death #unloved

255 · Dec 2020

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max Dec 2020

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He
Held me
When I was afraid

He
Listened to me
When I was upset

He
Comforted me
When I was crying

He
Left me
When I needed him most

He
Remains here, still
An empty shell of what once was
A pitiful looking ghost

250 · May 2021

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max May 2021

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When I found that I had been destroyed by you
My heart swelled with the warmth and comfort of finally having a purpose
I am empty
You have consumed me
I have never felt more complete

235 · Mar 2021

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max Mar 2021

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Cause baby you’re as beautiful
As a flower at a funeral
Not wilted or dead, at all
We humans envy your perseverance
But your lack of appearance
At the wake sure takes some gall
And I wonder baby blue
Why do they call you violet?
Evergreen is green forever
Till the winds get violent
When life gets tough
You jump ship
Decorate the grave
As if the person in it gives a ****

233 · Jan 2021

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max Jan 2021

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You are the monster
From my childhood nightmares
Except now you lay atop my bed
Rather then under it

228 · Apr 2021

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I spill rainbows from my pockets
To distract you from the storms and shadows leaking from my lips

208 · Jan 2021

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You are the sun

And I am a star

Small and distant

Wishing one day I could shine as brightly as you

183 · May 2021

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max May 2021

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In a world
Where being one in a million
Is a bad thing
Because being just one
Of a million things you love
Is a sad thing

178 · Dec 2020

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max Dec 2020

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There was a time
In this universe
Where we coexisted
Simultaneously
Breathed the same air
Spoke the same words
Walked the same steps
But I didn’t know you yet
I call those times the dark days
Because my life means nothing if you’re not in it

#existence #love

169 · Dec 2020

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max Dec 2020

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Being alive sure was a hell of a lot easier when I didn’t wanna be

Now I have to worry about college and sh*t **** ✌️

154 · Dec 2020

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max Dec 2020

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You once promised me you’d take me to the moon
Yet here I am
Shivering with the stars
And lighting myself on fire with the sun
To see if I still feel something

146 · Aug 2021

An Invitation

max Aug 2021

An Invitation

I love
The way the rain
Can be so soft
Gently tapping at my window
An invitation
It extends in the form of soft drops
Dripping down my face
And my hands
As I dance with you
And yet
The torrential downpour
So devastating
It drowns
It molds
It rises and ebbs and flows and
Fills your lungs
Like sweet honey
In the stomach of the bear
So completely
I cannot breathe
It causes the wind to howl and scream
And shake the birds from their trees
And the lightning to flash
And scream inside
Every nerve of my fingertips
And every curve of my bones
It arches my spine
And it feels divine
As the rain cries for me
From the sky
I wonder
Why the invitation was so welcoming
Yet maybe it was heavenly
Because heaven is where I’m headed
Now

138 · May 2021

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max May 2021

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When did you figure out exactly
How to
Integrate yourself into my
Soul? You consume every
Percentage of my being, you are now
Everything I ever needed to
Rid myself of in order to maintain
Sanity.

w h i s p e r s

136 · Jul 2021

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max Jul 2021

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It’s sound sick
And twisted
And melancholy

But god
I hope you miss me so much when I die

I hope you collapse in agony as my casket is lowered into the ground
I hope you plant new flowers once a week on my headstone
And wear black in mourning
I hope you never take another lover
I hope even the thought of someone touching you the way I do now makes you weep

I hope that
If nothing at all
I meant enough to you that
You break down your walls
And stop guarding your emotions
And let yourself feel the pain of my death

I pray that
Maybe if I can succeed
I’m letting you down slowly
As o fade away into nothingness
Then maybe I had a purpose

Morbid, I know

127 · Jan 2021

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max Jan 2021

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ᵢ wₐₛ ᵣₑₐdy ₜₒ ₗₐy dₒwₙ ₘy ₗᵢfₑ fₒᵣ yₒᵤ ₐₙd yₒᵤ dᵢdₙ’ₜ ₑᵥₑₙ ₖₙₒw ᵢ ₑₓᵢₛₜₑd

122 · Jan 2021

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max Jan 2021

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The world has never been emptier
Than it is right now
Because you’re not in it

120 · Feb 2021

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max Feb 2021

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I would hate nothing more
Than for someone to say
‘I would die for you’
As if it’s romantic
As if it’s supposed to impress me
I could never exist in a world where you aren’t by my side
So don’t be a fool and take that away from me

Idk will delete soon probably

120 · May 2021

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max May 2021

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You always used to tell me
How much you didn’t deserve me
Like it was a good thing
But in reality you just deserved so much better.

120 · May 2021

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max May 2021

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hey
I just wanted to thank you
For existing

Even now
That your existence
Is over

119 · Jul 2021

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max Jul 2021

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The boundaries we have built
The skin and flesh and blood
That you hide behind
I am unable to mend your broken bones
And set my hand upon the soft, beating thrum of your heart
I am confined to my wrinkles and my scars
I am entrapped by my scars and bruises
I am unable to touch you the way we only may be able to in death
Or bones caress each other
Our teeth gnashing violently as we fight for dominance
I will never find it possible to break beyond your walls
I am unable to full understand the complexities of your mind

114 · Jan 2021

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max Jan 2021

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I often feel
Like an apple
Red, and shiny
Perfect

Until you came along
And took a bite out of me
But decided I was too sour
And left me to rot

But I will never be whole again

112 · Dec 2020

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max Dec 2020

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ashes to ashes
and dust to dust
we know no real pain
until we find trust
then that trust is broken
and so are our bones
i entered this world crying
and i'll leave it
alone

#loneliness

109 · Feb 2021

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max Feb 2021

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You are the song I haven’t written yet
Because it was inspired by the most beautiful thing in earth
And I don’t have the strength to put it into words

You are the story I have written on the insides of my arms
With a marker who’s ink is red
You are the story I want to read to my grandchildren before they go to bed

You are the moon who’s scars I want to see up close
And remind you that just because the sun is so bright
Doesn’t mean you deserve to choke

You are the shadow waiting for me beyond the smoke

You are my first love and my dying breath
You’re the painting I left unfinished
Because I barely even know you yet

But I hope you realize how beautiful you really are.

108 · Jan 2021

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max Jan 2021

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I wanted to give you back
All the things you left in my house
After you left me

But the memories
Are persistent
And ever-existing in every crevice
Of the old home

They will not fit inside the box
And rather choose to crawl into my dreams
And remind me of what I’ve lost

#memories

107 · Feb 2021

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I wonder do I look
As empty as I feel
And is anything I feel
Even real?

103 · Jan 2021

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Do you realize the extent of your white privilege?
When watching our friends of color get murdered doesn’t make you livid?
If this were for them, there’d be bodies lining the streets
Meanwhile our president laughs and spreads lies with his tweets

Trump is an idiot

100 · Jan 2021

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max Jan 2021

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Steal the
Air from
My lungs

And the
Heart beating
Loudly in
My chest

Kiss me
Like you
Missed me

And you’re
The one who
Knows me
Best

Scare me
Scar me
And hide
My thoughts
So alarming

Hide me
Cry with me
And maybe

Just maybe

Love me too

98 · Feb 2021

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max Feb 2021

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Funny how the little things sting the most
When everyone you love has turned to ghosts
And this aching faking feeling starts to take your bones
And in trying to be happy you might have overdosed

97 · Feb 2021

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max Feb 2021

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If I faltered
For just a moment
Standing at the altar
Would you notice
Or would you be
Far too busy
Looking past me
Looking at him

92 · Feb 2021

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max Feb 2021

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Pick the rose
Prepare for the thorn
Love the thorn
Like it’s the softest petal

91 · Feb 2021

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Oh how to fill the hole in the heart of a man who has lost the universe
How to satisfy the needs of a creature who has kissed goodnight to every dying star
And laid his hand upon the curvature of the end of time

Oh how to be enough for someone who has everything and cares so little for it

90 · May 2021

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I haven’t spoken a word
In several hours
Nobody has noticed
They do not care
They enjoy my silence

They only notice me when I annoy them

87 · Mar 2021

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max Mar 2021

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I am a stranger to my own existence
Yet I fall victim to the delusion
That I have control over it

I am numb to the gravity of my life
Yet I insist that it is mine to take

I am detached from my own body
Yet I reprimand it
Ashamed of its shape and pallor

I am nothing to myself
And yet something to the weeds
That will one day feed from the dirt covering my grave

85 · Dec 2020

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The pain manages to get so much scarier
When you’re not afraid anymore
Because nothing can stop you when you lose control

81 · Dec 2020

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I hate
That I’m kinda ******* glad
You broke her heart

It made me happy
That the person who treated me poorly
Got poorly treated by you
But is it worth
What she’s going through?

77 · Dec 2020

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max Dec 2020

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If
I
Was
Lower
Functioning
Would you
Still
Love me?