Red yellow orange
Breaking up the plain surface
Dripping from above

They say,
  You could do so much better.
  Shoot for the stars not the clouds.
The thing is, what if I want to shoot for the clouds and the birds in life?
What if I'm scared to death of failure?
I can't even handle the idea of failing.
People don't understand that I am okay with mediocre.
I don't care if I am the very best.
I just want to be good enough.
I don't ask a lot of myself because I always dissapoint.
So now when they say
  You could do so much better.
I will reply
  Yes I know, but I don't want better.

This is a race.
You, against yourself.
Winning is all that’s important.
Rip and tear yourself apart.
Beaten.
When you fall in this race, you're on your own.
No one is going to help you up.
Fast enough?
never
You think you know how far you can push it
then you fall.
You fall in a hole of gritty hard dirt.
That hole of dark and dreary, starts to feel like home.
You give up on ever getting out of this hole that you fell into.
Wondering if you will ever get out and continue this race.
You could try to climb.
But you know this hole well.
And you don’t want to come out.
You won’t come out.
Race, failed.
Winning isn’t even possible.
You can’t anymore..
You're done.

The girl in the pictures
Smiles in the hallways
Laughs with friends
Ya, I wish you could see
That she is not me.

The suns seems happy and bright
But what if its not
What if it's just told to be that way
It just doesn't know how to be cold
Its so used to being bright
People expect it to be that way
The sun has a purpose
It can't let all of us down
It has to keep shining
For us.

Sleep is good.
You need it.
Teens should get at least 8 hours.
Sleep is kinda like a break,
You close your eyes and escape reality.
Unless reality follows you into your sleep.
That started to happen to me.
I would fall asleep and thats when the monsters in my head would come out.
I wake up crying.
Dreams no longer exist.
People say to sleep more,
That's difficult when every time you wake up you want to make yourself sleep
Forever

Ignore me.
Don't look.
I'm destroying myself.
Don't watch.
I know you love me.
Walk away.
You will help me most by walking away.
Please.
I already hurt myself.
I don't want to hurt you too.