Sunlight peers through the waning leaves;
The waters dance in the puddles from the passing rain;
Yet still humid,
Yet still serene.

Gazing through casual talk;
Lips wet with unspoken words;
With an uneasy heart,* left heavy-handed;

With all that's here to see,

*Silence never left.

You were there,

When I tried to strip an angel off its wings;

As its feathers fall one by one,

You vehemently pulled me away.

You knew how I never knew what I was doing,

You knew how lost I am in this fight,

You knew how much I wanted to just lay down and wait for my time;

Yet you pulled me away,

Even if no one asked you to;

You pulled me away;

And in your arms as I was about to collapse, you whisper:

It's okay.

You were there,

As I was putting back the wings;

Not the best but I tried my best.

*You held me.

Too much happiness
Can
          lead
you
          astray.

Too much love
Can                    make                     you                    *vulnerable.

Too much pain
Can









leave








you








Spaced-









­Out.*

Too much everything
Can lead you -

Everything I do wrong feels uncannily right

I was too used to being silenced that I don't have my own voice anymore

Strip yourself of the grandeur you demonstrate,
*I know how rotten you are already.

The acclaimed Hierophant speaks at his sleep,
His words of tongue much ******,
*Than the truth that abides his fiendish reality.

Sometimes all good become all sorrow.
Sometimes the hope is made to feel like no tomorrow;
Yet those who stand on broken vows
*Seem to become their better selves.

In the sea I dived in,
I feel so little;
Compared to the other fish,
Grand, and loved:
I stand in a position far from them.
The currents wash me out;
I swim a death wish.
I mistook the ocean for a sea.

The boy who lost his voice,
The entity that camouflages in glamour,
The man who lives in vincible ignorance
The one who stood when all was shattered;
*No one would really know.

Words can be rotten, indeed,
Tugging you in every step,
Since they released the hold on those hellhounds,
"You're an awful person".
Letters may they only be,
Yet they can still be as sinister,
As a wolf creeping behind a rabbit.
Yet, this being truth,
It is a two-way mirror.
They build us up or break our walls.
They can be your rise,
They can be your downfall.
Words spoken may be all that powerful,
But words can also best them, as well.
See them as their insecurities,
Not yours.
Pity not yourself, not them, not anyone.
Understand that they cannot understand you;
They may have a reason not to?
Please, don't lose yourself,
In the blur of the letters and words they threw.
Let the Demons in you be tamed,
They can be freed for another time.
Letters and words these may all be,
Yet I hope what I want to say, you see.
You are not alone.
**We are not alone.

I've found a soul I've known before;

A soul I recognize yet one I am not familiar with;

A soul I've had a glimpse on,

A soul of a poet.

As I know your secret, I'll keep it sealed.

I hope you keep Mine as well.

We're all poets;*

We all ride our tunes.

Been too tired fighting alone

Too much weight upon my shoulders

Crying for help
Yet no one listens

Pleading for salvation
Yet gave in to the ******

Exhausted of pretending

Everything; nothing's fine

Too scared to tell the truth

Too hurt from keeping it

Wonder how much my smile covered up

Now too fed up with everything

Not that I want to play the victim

I'm just too tired to stand alone.

Too many things left unsaid,
Too many lies spewed out.

Nothing follows me but agony;

It's so unfair

Why is it that I'm the only one that you dump your anger in?

Stop fighting because of me.

If it wasn't for my ******* mouth.
If it wasn't for my ******* body.
If it wasn't for me

None of this could've happened.

I'm scared. I'm furious. I'm tired.

*I'm sorry

I'm just talking to my own echo;

Too scared to tell the truth

Too tired to fight for myself

I guess no one could fix me;

As if this curse wasn't enough,

I fall down rock bottom

Yet I can still see all of you.

How your lights shine the brightest;

I envy.

How you can see the light of the stars,

And not the pitch-black darkness

Of the night sky,

I guess I am but an opposite;

You get lifted up,

I get pulled back down.

Listening to my own noise;

Foolish.

Craving help,

Yet never asking.

As I see your world;

I might just stain it,

Take away time and waste it.

I'm being left behind;

It ain't your fault.

Don't bother.

I'm not worth anything, anyway.

With hapless weight at the other end of the chain,

Fallen down,* forgotten.

**It would be nice if it was at least remembered.

When all that's left of me are placeholders and labels,
Will you still look at me the same?
When all I've held on chooses to let me go,
Will you lend me your hand?
When everyone turns their backs,
Would you choose to stay beside me?
When I take my last breath,
Would you see me go?
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**Even though I know you would never.

Can't write very well because of you.
Leaped what has been leaped;
Now unsure how to get back to whence we started:
Was it truly a leap of faith?
Now you flew away,
As I see your figure in the sky;
Not that I've seen you close enough.

Fazed;

Blacked out.

Woke up with scars,

Left from mindless spurs.

Yet blamed.

Though it is my fault.

I still don't know why I do this.

Now I'm just dragging other people down.

I try to make up for it;

The more I do the more I'll drag others deeper.

The more I become honest the more I destroy.

Erratic slashing,

Woken up by a stinging pain,

A nostalgic feeling.

Blacked out.

*Fazed.

I won't be on the best of your time;

But it'd be grand if you'd give me a word or two.

I don't know why I've been chasing your shadows;
I don't know why I always liked to see you smile,
I don't know why I'm affected when you're sad;
I don't know why I still have my ties knotted with you.
It's clear to me that Us will never be,
It's almost common sense that we won't;
But still, there's that hope that you'll see me through,
Still, there's that chance that you'll understand me.
Even though I know that that chance is too far to reach,
So like the stars that shine above us, I'll be fine in seeing you from afar,
*Until I can't see your shimmer anymore.

Clogging my head with song,
Mask my words with lyrics,
Twist my focus with nonsense;
Set another terrible bunch on fire.

Hear endless talks of flirtation,
Outside the endless reclamation of fault,
Farther the images, truth much covered with lies
Hidden too much , it's diluted.

Clock my thought with four lines,
Paint my head with more lies,
Crank the volume with more than four tries,
Repeat the vices, the verses for more than four times.

Listen to unfamiliar voices,
Voices that tell their tale of soaring;
Listen how they scream their name to the tune;
It's hard to believe when you hear it while down under.

Make words, make nonsense,
How can he possibly know?
Impair their perspectives;
Welcome to the maze of wailing repetition!

Plague the silence with voices:
A boy, a woman, a man,
All shouting different chants;
Made up so much, it's all *******.

Plea no more, I would commit,
Somebody no more than trying to climb.
A door who holds its own key;
Too bad he forgot where he put it.

Slowly, falling into depravity,
Take claim his empty head;
Take heed the light he left;
Slowly, sleeping towards Oblivion.

Not more than an empty casket.
The flames return to the torch.
Still burning bright, still unfinished;
See this terrible bunch move in the scorching fire.

If you'd look down on your body
And see only bruises and scars
You're not alone, don't worry,
You're not the only shooting star.

I've not painted myself,
With things as black as yours;
But, mind you, I've been as dark as thyself,
And I've been in too many horrors.

I've not blame you for the blade you've held,
But I feel your grief, and this I'd tell;
I've felt it before, your feelings compelled,
In a sea of regret, from cloud 9 you fell.

I've tried many times to drown my sorrow,
And watch blood of innocence drip through unwelcome wound,
And rise, another day, not as hollow,
And plaster a smile as if I'm not doomed.

Today, I regret ever letting my demons run
Even though they'd pushed me to write;
I'd say to you "Be strong! Bask another sun!"
And let your demons help you in the fight!

Just know that one even from across the oceans,
Would like to see you stand;
Would like to see you trump your omens
And lend a helping hand.

If you'd be switched over,
I'd help you back up again.
Even if I can't go sooner or later,
At least with the words that came from my pen.

I hope you'd read this,
Even out of the boon,
Even if you'd not find bliss,
**Together, let's sing our battle tune!

Just hit rock bottom
Writer's Block
Irony
Wounds closed; about to reopen
No one understands the plea
Talk to me
Help

The monster hidden under my bed chose to lay beside me,

Wearing the face of a man I knew,

Revealing the truth of a sweet dream— a bitter nightmare;

Violated.

Dirtied.

Disgusted.

Unfa­thomable,

To be done by someone whom I'd thought can never do such things.

I will grieve,

I will falter;

But I will not let it eat me.

I shall be the rose both of the beauty and the danger;

I will stand and fight with the power I ought to have;

I will vanquish that very monster:

Without fear,

Without hesitation.

I vow to never let it consume me;

**I am a warrior and I shall forever be!

I thought I'd take the leave,
Release the grasp of my love,
My love that never shone through;
Yet I stumble upon a piece or two,
Reminiscing the song of words,
Painful, yes, but touching, as well.

I would admit, some of my rambles
Spew out of my mind when I see you;
A picture, a message, a thought of you, even,
You set my mind fuzzy, yet you make it best me;
Knowing that our hearts can never beat as one,
It fills me with bereavement.

I know time will come that I'll forget you,
Make your existence feeble in my world,
I wished this time would soon come;
Yet, I wish to savor your company,
Even if you don't feel the same for me;
Even if I am feeble to your world.

It's repeating like a broken tune;
The voices in my head,
They speak of you and me,
Of how you would symmetrize my derangements,
And send my flow gushing endlessly;
Of how you make me feel so happy, yet sad.

"I can't make you love me, if you don't",
"I can't make you mine, if I'm nothing",
"I can't be the one to make you happy",
And I won't force you to be.
I'm lost and I can't find my way;
Maybe it's better to be lost; to be deafened by truth.

In the midst of oppression;
The buzzing of truth finds hard to flutter.
In a carousel of corpses;
Such is a truth to stay awake.
In the lines of fuzzy minds;
How uncanny it is to find a thought;
Of a head with a travel far from reality;
His pen the anchor to mundaneness.

Strum the song that nobody ever knows,
Strum the song nobody would ever know;
Sing of the words that words cannot understand,
Let those knocking whisper their voices.
Sulk upon the sounds of trembling thunders;
Let the rain deafen you whole.
Blind your eyes from the truth with distortion;
Your pain the anchor to reality.

Let the pendulum swing;
Let the smoke turn you vague;
Let the scorn that darkness brings;
Let the sedation leave you enraged.
Let the twisted remain as they are;
Perhaps they were twisted for a reason;
Turn numb with all unconnected words;
*Confusion the anchor to the earth.

I wish you'd say something;

I wish you'd say the words I'm dying to hear,

I wish we'd talk like we used to,

But we won't.

The more I try to push it,

All the more that I'll destroy it;

A friendship.

I don't even know if I mean anything at all to you.

I wish I do.

But that's a request near to never.

...we haven't even spoken yet.

Here's to hoping it won't **** me deep inside;

"...hey"
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*"√"

The irony of the doubt
Of the one that came out of my mouth

Is that this head won't make flowers out of words
Or gardens out of stanzas;

That when these hands write or type
None would be so quite the hype,

That words would be just words:
They are, yes, but the irony is that it still hurts;

When I said I can't make more out of a word,
My head sabotaged me, albeit absurd:

I made flowers out of words
But, out of nowhere, it'd hurt me:

For the thorns of the rose I plucked,
From the garden I thrashed, crocked,

To the truth that the one I plucked the rose for
Would do none but to abhor;

Now I cry, knowing,
What the irony of the doubt would sing;

How I'm bound to fool myself with words,
And hurt by them, soon after;

How this heart would endlessly flutter
Over love that is destined to falter.

Poor little sullen boy,
Too old to play with his sullen toys,
Everyone thinks you're harmless,
Treating you sick and senseless.
Poor kid always took jokes,
Stabs more than they are pokes,
Can't look anymore in the mirror,
Can't stand to see and hear the horror.
Get the knife that uncle brought home,
Cut that horible stomach-dome,
Cut a smile on my pale lips,
Let blood drip on my fingertips.
Feel still that I am not offended
Realize too late to have me tormented;
Laugh at me with all your ideals
Don't see me cry with my ordeals.
Get the knife that uncle brought home,
Cut that horrible stomach-dome,
Now see in me that perfection is pain,
Now see in me that acceptance is vain.

Wave by wave
Coast by coast
The clear sea dances.
Grace and simplicity
Envelopes the scenery
Of the grim and dark day.

The wind breezes
The smell of sea.
Nostalgia overcame me
Of the fate I suffered:
The fate of a tortured soul
On that grim and dark day.

A voice soon whispers
To my endless whimpers
The skies cried for me;
I failed to bare
I stepped on no ground
On that grim and dark day.

Cold waters embraced me
Gloominess surrounds me
What am I to oversee?
Out of sans
They tried to cage me
On that grim and dark day.

I open my eyes
There I am, back again
On the grim and dark day.
Grace and simplicity
Overcomes this treachery
As tears stream down my face.

I've known of the man called Freedom,
His eyes pristine and his hands of good gesture,
He gave to all he ever saw,
Even those who wished he'd be dead.
You see, Freedom is a nice man,
He had given us the chance to be one,
Yet some see him as a hindrance,
That he'd be the one to cut the bridge to their horrid ambition.
It's true Hell's already empty,
The Devils are already here!
And they'd tied Freedom to the podium!
And they'd ready their  flames and *****!
"Witness! As this hell of a saint be exposed before your very eyes!"
The Demons wailed and shouted.
"Light the flames! Expose his treacheries!"
As the demons hissed and the ***** lighted.













Freedom speaks.











Friends, my brothers, people of all brethren,
Ramble not, for I shall tell you truth.
Ebb is the fierceness you encounter,
End is the beginning of your hate.
Dawned to me, you have lost your innocence,
On the edge of light and darkness;
Mourning am I to you all.

Never the same are your reasons to fight,
Earnest are you to your reasons,
Vague, yet, are your answers.
Earthbound will be your rationality,
Revolving in wrong, your right.

Demonstrate not crudeness, but kindness,
Ice the hatred and let the good burn within you.
Enough of the foul that has come to be,
Sing the words that are your harmony.













All is silenced.

















Freedom opens his eyes.
The flames, gone.
The hissing, deafened.





















Freedom, is you.

Slowly dripping,

Your crocodile tears of love.

You don't need to say you love me;

I know of the things you have done.

Don't cry in front of me,

Because I know what curses you say to me behind those eyes.

Don't ever try to win me back again,

*You'll just end up in an endless cycle of games.

Born within a generational divide,
But some people will argue otherwise;
An affliction for movies of childhood,
*Like feeling the nostalgia I never got to experience.