f - Hello Poetry

f May 4

soft to the touch
my fingertips hold the most
the heaviest things
like your heart
but to hold one thing
is to let go of another
I watched the well dry as you drank up
every single drop.

my tiny, tiny fingertips
hold a weight beyond belief,
it can since it wants.
my hands want to carry your weight
so you don't have to pretend
to care about this
or to love us
I held on to your heart
while you ran with the wolves
You ran with out the thought of me
Forgetting your heart as well
I'm just as forgetful
But I don't forgive.

So, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years! Yay, I'm single!!
I'm also fine :)

#fingers #heart #forgiveness #forgetful #wolves #him #her #love #us #weight

f Dec 2023

humans

frightening beautiful
oh, so beautiful it burns
our hearts are never full
and our minds are never content
we tumble onto the worst
only to make the best out of it
and make art out of it

to be human is to be love, personified.

i love everyone

f Jan 2023

ordinary

full of words
and spilling tears
I could pretend to be okay for days,
but nowhere
am i near

i miss my sister and i don't know how to cope...

f Oct 2022

heartbreak

every bit, every tiny bit
i can feel the elephant foot through
my chest, there is
little to no breath, can i stop?
god, if there is anything for me
please don’t make it wait longer
tell my future i won’t be coming
earth is not my place, not anywhere i’ve been
this is too much
half my day i want to scream on the top of my lungs
for help, for solitude, for no one
why am i not heard yet?

maybe i should tell someone
that my room is a mess like my head
and i can’t keep it still, slowly filling my hands
with anything i can find, i wont rest
i cant rest
i can’t let me go
i have to become my future
i promised i won’t go
i promised things i can’t keep
just let me go, my lungs have
and the blood swells my chest
my eyes aren’t smiling
im sorry im not joyful like i used to be

so joyful, it killed me.

its not you, i promise

#elephant #food #chest #breath #stop #god #anything #wait #future #earth

f Aug 2022

captive

so much weight i can’t carry longer
day after day my mind wanders
will i find it the same?
or was it seldom
a gaping crack
big enough, it grew big enough
to remind me of caution
of the unexpected at miles ahead
tell me if i was true
living in oblivion is my only escape
i cant deal with the world
so i turn 10 years old again
my thoughts command and say
but my heart overcomes its grip
can this not be true?
can i not be in this much despire?
am i right or was i not good enough?
questions roam my head like foam
i’ll turn to foam if i drown in this

i’d like to shed without sympathy
don’t say sorry, don’t tell me to stop
let me be a human for a day
i’ll be myself tomorrow
reality has to be an intruder
into my fabricated mind
i’m a crime committed too long ago
i should be kept away but i’m here in the open
this isn’t good for me, or you
why should i hide when it’s better to heal
but i cant! i cant bring myself to deal yet
i hadn’t thought of this in too long
i haven’t griefted properly
i haven’t shed a tear yet.

lately i’ve been overthinking about things that happened to me, particularly one. I realize that I used to be very mature for my age when i was 8-10 and I wanted to become more childish when i got older because i’ve never gotten to experience things like normal kids do because i have a set of rules to follow n stuff yk.

i’m maturing and it’s scaring me because now i haven’t done none of the things i wanted to and i will never because this is my last chance at being 16. i won’t be young again, toying with the idea of life being so full and awaiting me with open arms. no, i won’t.