04/28/22

i love living.

God has finally became a part of my routine, and him & i are in a better place. i just have to do one more thing. i hope i can do it.

i feel like i've matured a lot since last year, since that July. my flowers have ripened, and it's spring. today was our last day, and it made me realize, that life is about gratitude. it's about appreciating the little things, the ladybird that landed on your hand while gardening, or the beesting that really hurts. whether good or bad, it's better than nothing, which someone has. and even when receiving unspeakable news, Allah (SWT) has done it for a reason. i won't cry over what happens, because it's done for. nothing i could ever do.

life is about realizing everything has an end. once it's gone, nothing will be the same. i want to live with no regrets, living like tomorrow is not a guarantee. life can go by in a second. i was leaning on the kitchen counter, reminiscing about my childhood. i was pouring brown sugar into a cup of tea, which reminded me of a time when i used to dig our garden searching for worms. i smelled the aroma of freshly wet grass from rainfall and started watching the snails i put in line race to the end. if i don't catch my moments, ill never live. i need to step out of my comfort zone and become the person i know i can be. ill try everything i want. ill read all the classical books and be me.

my love theory is that:
if you are "incompatible" with people because you are different,
you'll never know if they're your one if you trust what others tell you
you might have to go through a lot
yes, but the end result?
might just be twice it's worth