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Phonecalls
Late nights
Your voice
Taxi drives.
Cocktails
Beers
Apartment heaters
Christmas cheer.

I'm
F
A
   L
     L
       I
        N
          G
too fast
too hard
for you.

I CAN'T
Just to be able to embrace you without looking around the room
Being able to kiss you passionately without caring
To say I love you and to hear you say it back
To be loved without fault
To have your love
No secrets no lies
No deceit
Everything's justified
A Love of My Own
You're the sparkle on the tinsel
You're the twinkling of the lights
You're the tiny bells that jingle
Though you're hidden out of sight.

You're the music in his laughter
You're the mischief in his eye
You're the happy sigh that shook me
as I kissed our son goodnight.

You're the tears that fall in silence
You're the strength that keeps me sane
You're the one I'll always long for
Til someday we meet again.
Merry Christmas Georgie. Taken too young but always here.
You had a mouth full of bullets
and all your sentences rang out like gunplay,
How many times do I have to wear
Kevlar to our conversations?
-
A machine gun smile,
Ten trigger fingers waiting to fire on,
I was the fool standing arms out wide waiting for an answer
Bullets in my chest made my insides bleed red,
Hidden behind battlefield lips,
How could I not see this coming they said,
-
help patch all the holes left in me,
all the hollow places inside left behind,
Refugee bones searching for shelter,
-
You were the shooter and I the target,
Clip emptied, and we both got hit,
I am just not afraid to show
the parts of me that are bleeding
Send away my soul,
Packaged and sealed,
Handle with care,
For the contents fragile,
Upon arrival,
Unwrap the entrails,
Return to sender,
These fractured pieces
10
One time I lost my way,
Two times I accepted your apologies
Tree times I threw away too much of myself,
Four times I forgot the name I once carried,
Five times I loved far too well,
Six times I wrote poems for forgiveness,
Seven times I produced false promises,
Eight times I shared nights with empty bodies,
Nine times I gave away everything,
Ten times I let myself remember
I feel stranded on this island
And it feels so nice to be alone
I finally have no one to deal with
No one to please or love.
Because without him
I am stranded
But I'll send him a message
I'll put it in a bottle
I'll send it across the sea
It will read
"I hope you're thinking of me"
And when he opens it
He'll see my hand writing
And he will soon know
That if he wants me back
That island is where he should go.

And if he reads that message
And sighs in relief
Not missing me at all
I guess I'll be brief

My dear whom i love
Who doesn't need me
Can live life on his own
And i will be safe and sound
On that island
I will live a life full of adventure
And i may be alone
But i know I'm happy
Because he and i weren't meant to be
And i want no one else.
how do you let someone go
when you were the one who convinced him to love you?

how do you break his heart
after you were the one who picked up the pieces?
There are times,
Where I want to sing,
Your name and mine,
Tangled in the same tune,
Dancing with the syllables,
All the notes and nothings,
Around and around,
Into the evening hours,
There are times,
Where I have cried,
Familiar faces on morning news,
Funerals for the friends lost,
Childhood ends far too early,
So many nights forgotten,
Sunday morning service,
Prayers for the wrongs I committed,
In the hours prior,
There are times*,
Where I reflected on the memories,
August took a piece of me,
Everything was full of life,
We never even wondered,
About what would become of us,
In the sunrise that followed.
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