My mind hurts a lot
Simplicity looks to be my salvation
The world is so difficult
So cold hearted
At odds with itself
I think so much
What was
What is
What shall be

The future
What shall be
The light it dims each day
The toil
The loss
The few insignificant pleasures
The gamble that payed off
At the discontentment of others

The hatred boils
The society
Torn by tragedy
Stricken with grief
Forgotten
We’ve moved on.

The day I die
I've extensively thought
I feel pensive and nervous
In worrisome thought
I find myself thinking
Bound to no lies
Or for whatever reason
Bound to know lies
I've told to myself
Creating my disguise
Where will I be
In the future
I'll know one day I suppose
But still I will ponder
My future
Again
And again
And again
I'll still wonder
Until the day that I die
I guess I'll know then.

Or I wreck hell

My gorgeous girl
Don't ever leave me
I miss you when you're not around
I count the atoms between us when you can't be found
Through call nor text

So come back to me
Don't ever leave me
I want to share all
My moments
With you
Only you

Or I wreck hell

The day I waited
I woke from a terrifying dream
I lye there awake
Waiting
For the alarm to ring
I wait to leave
I've got nothing to do
I wait for a train
For a bus
I wait for the people
They never show up
I wait again and again
No one comes
Then I wait again
For a train
It's cancelled
The next one too
I wait for a cab
I nervously await showing him
The shortcuts
Cut short is our conversation
By each intervention
My directions
They stir up a deeply anxious feeling
I wait for the washing
I wait for the line
I wait for the dishes
All slowly drying
I wait for the bus
I wait at the bar
I await a time to talk
They are scarce
Too few
To far between
My mind freezes
I'm too scared
I can't intervene

She tore my heart out
One night
Wrapped it up
Returned as a gift
I received it
Full of love

Sorry
Don't go
Take a pew
I'll sit with you
For an hour or two
What's you're name
Are you ok?
I saw that you had buried your head in your hands
What's troubling you
Is it money or love
It's no use hiding your feelings
When you're face is painted with signs of remorse
A death in the family or your circle of friends
Could it be
Or are you just sick and tired
Ready to give yourself to death willingly
You don't look so old
But yet there are wrinkles
Signs of a happy time in your life
What's this
A tear
I'm sorry
I didn't mean to touch a nerve
I mean not to worry you
I want to show you I care
By taking an interest
I guess I went about it wrong
I'll listen more
I promise

Falling out
Falling from
Returning space
Tense response
Allow me time
I'll not promise
I'll compromise
Denote my language
Gather your thoughts
Gather your feelings
I'll have mine ready
We'll talk about it

I'm still mortal

I *****
I ****
I eat
I stink
I try
I fear
And I burst out in tears
I fail
I succeed
I yearn to be freed
What is life
What is love
How deep can I be
My soul is on fire with thoughts of desire
I long to be near you
Yet feel I'm beneath you

I'm still mortal

I ****
I drink
I do
Before I think
I ****
At best
But that's all in jest
I'm good
I'm bad
I'm terribly sad
I'm tired and weary
I don't see things so clearly

Forgive me my sins
I've done terrible things
But this life takes its toll
And we all make mistakes

I'm still mortal.

In my dreams I'm scared of things
Scared of death and all it brings
Scared that you might read these things
Scared of the future,
Scared of human beings
The man in the shop,
The person in power
The child that sings a new song every hour
Beckoning me back to a time of few worries
None of bills,
None of health,
None of politics and prowess
None of ***,
None of being scared to talk or talking too pc
None of babies nor showers
Or when's the next happy hour

I jot this all down in the hope I'll remember
The feeling I felt when I woke up this morning
Dawn was arriving but not here quite yet
I woke to a craving of diluted squash
Mercan Dede still playing quietly, gently and soft
I thought of enlightenment
And how it could be
Worryless,
Fearless,
Content with all
But not for real
The fear keeps you alive
And the worries keep you sane
But it's nice to wonder and ponder now and again
Of how free you felt whilst cooped up inside
It's nice to think it was better back then
but where did I really go when I was just 10