i fear that one day
the word goodbye
will rest permanently on my lips,
until the pain of this word comes along
when i look back and
i could never say hello again.

it's strange how i remember everything

all but your voice

i could remember how you smiled
whenever i looked at you
i could remember your strong spices scent
whenever we embraced
i could remember your long legs walk slowly
and i had to drag you along
i could remember your long arms around me
when we said our last goodbye
i could remember how you chewed your food
quick, with pepper and salt
i could remember how you laughed loudly
when you told me i was funny
i could remember your questioning look
whenever you didn't understand me
i could remember the way you held my hand
and when you entwined my fingers with yours
i could remember how you had your eyes closed
when i watched you in the mirror
i could remember you drink tea
and sipping from the thick straw
i could remember you staring quietly at me
whenever i explained further
i could remember your eyes lighting up
whenever you talked about something you love
i could remember the hesitance
when your hands let go of my waist
i could remember how impressed you were
when i drew that dreamcatcher on your skin
i could remember your reactions
and the words which go along with it

everything, i promise, i remember and know
all but your voice

you, my first happiness
you, my first interest
you, my first smile
you, my first touch
you, my first interlock
you, my first song
you, my first bloom
you, my first embrace
you, my first love
you, my first sun

you, my first fall
you, my first sorry
you, my first ignorance
you, my first tear
you, my first sorrow
you, my first hatred
you, my first wilt
you, my first death

and i, your last moon