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"I'm so cold."She whispers in a raspy silent voice.
She buries her face in his lap trying to get an ounce
of warmth in her cheeks.He holds her with the hand
that isn't on the steering wheel as they drive through
the snowy weather.She tries to warm up and stay strong
for a little longer,they both know its coming her useless
body eats away at her weak soul,as she fears of going
unconscious and leaving the earth and not being able to
notice the beauty within it.
In Autumn,
as in Spring,
the sap flows,
the sap wishes to race
against heartbeats
before the winter,
before the winter
buries us
in her usual shroud of ice.

I turn to you
knowing that
unrequited love
is good
for poetry,
knowing that pain
will nudge the muse
as well as anything,
knowing that you
are afraid, fettered
to a life
you do not love,
& so unfree
that freedom seems
more fearful even
than the familiar
business
of being
a grumbling slave.

I lived
that way
once,
& I know
that freedom
is its own reward,
that it propagates
itself
by means
of runners,

that nobody
gives it to you,
not even me
to you,

but that you
must seize it
with your own
two quaking hands
& pluck
the strawberry
it bears
in the green
ungrumbling

Spring.
 Nov 2015 sittinginviolence
ab
Can someone please tell me
why everything
has to be so
complicated
all
the
time?

Why we overthink those
bumps
in the dark,
we hear our names whispered
from every corner?

Why we think that something
can not,
should not be,
when it really wouldn't
be that bad
just to try
this once?

If you could just tell me
what would be so difficult
about giving it a try
just this once...

Let me hold you.

Let me kiss you
on the nose
and giggle softly
at your dumb jokes.

I'll hold your hands in mine
while we contemplate
the universe,
or anything you desire
because I just like talking with you.

Or we can just sit in silence,
staring at the sky
thinking to ourselves
"This can't get any more perfect."

And that will mean everything to us.

For no matter how many times
I look into your eyes,
or how stupid I feel
writing these poems,
there's one thing that won't change.

You really matter to me.
Awe-inducing presence
Beguiling beauty
Calm after the storm
Delicate and divine
Effervescent being
Flames dancing in the sky
God-fearing
Heart unstained by impurity
Interstellar
Joy in the midst of misery
Kind, too kind for her sake
Lovely smile
Magnetic woman
Never says never
Oblivious to love
Pure white
Quick-wit and sharp
Rain during the drought
Starry, starry eyes
Thunderstorms
Unwavering love
Virtuoso
Wholehearted
Xenon, gold, and neon
Yuletide happiness
Zigzag feelings
Just keep on
selling myself
until the pieces
are gone.
lying on my mattress
or floor
staring into the
pure
white ceiling.
Thinking, breathing, wanting to scream.
Everything's perfect.
except for the white ceiling, of course
insomnia wonder thoughts breathe dead
there's a ghost in this house
& teeth marks in my tongue
from the times I've had to stop myself.
if you want me to walk with you,
put me in a greenhouse
so I won't complain about
the frigid air.
hold me close,
not when I cry
but when our eyes meet
and there's tears in mine.
and when I turn into
that ghost
when I become
hallowed out and dry and sick,
like a cicada;
(it will happen)
when my brain is reduced to
leftover spaghetti mush
and my eyes are glazed over
glazed like the cake I would never eat
if it's you, you can touch me

oh my God it's so cold here
the sun has beautiful blood
you've watched it splash across the horizon
over the ocean,
like a fireworks show
watched it with cold eyes
feeling victorious
like a man again (if you are one)
like you've survived another day.
watch the suns demise
remember the reflection on your face
take a picture;
it's your favorite time of day!
you won't blink
you'll let it linger in your brain
& you'll wake up with silky sick nightmares
and you won't remember why
you're all grown up
you're all lies
but maybe the first time you saw
a sunset
you cried
another look at common things
friends go out,
i stay in,
hear them shout,
hear me win,
here they come,
there i go,
lost in the dark place
i call home.
you can interpret this poem however you'd like.
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