my first cigarette smoke was out of anger for a lover who left me hanging, bruised hearts and clammy palms, a puff that scratched at my throat which I smoothed down with a gulp of beer and regrets

my first cigarette smoke probably set my lungs on fire which made me smoke some more, day after day until eventually I felt my lungs were sore

I kept smoking and stopped trying to fall in love, an addiction like this is better to keep than to nurse broken ribs from a shattered heart

Buzz, buzz, buzz
The fly says as it circulates
Around the congested classroom
The sound of pencil to paper
As art is created on the
Corners of failed labs and late assignments
Breathe in the soft pink flakes
Of your neighbors easer
That tickles your nose
And makes you cough
Hear the tapping of a pen
At the edge of a desk
As you silently beg for the teacher
To notice and cease it
Feet shuffle and bags are grabbed
In anticipation of the
Bell

s.a.m.

I know what you're feeling
cause I feel it too.
You're very sad inside
but no one has a clue.

You think that you're worthless,
can't do anything right;
but you make the lives
of your friends so bright.

You think no one loves you,
well think again.
Our God surely loves you;
He made you like a precious gem.

All your problems, trials, and all that you feel,
are part of the path to your dreams becoming real.

He made you beautiful,
Inside and out.
You're perfect to Him;
so don't you pout.

Like a flower waiting to bloom,
Your talents will fully come out soon.
Like Armstrong going to the moon,
when you get there, the world will go boom.

I want to love you terribly;
The kind of love that will make my insides give up on me, crushing my ribs along with my lungs that became breathless ever since I fell headfirst into your arms

I will love you terribly,
I'm afraid there is no other way to love you but with a terrible love

I am lost.
Yet,
Something is telling me you are just like me.
Maybe
We were put in the darkness
To find each other.

I miss you in more ways a simple human being could

I miss you entirely, from the whole of you to your smallest parts

I think I’d still miss you even if I didn’t know you

a part of me would always reach out and yearn for you

The deepest parts of my mind would try to make sense

of the maps I continually make, of atlases of impossible longing

I am missing you over and over, perhaps I’d still miss you

even when I already find you standing right in front of me