Call number one
I was going to tell you
How much of a ***** you were
For making me feel like this
But I hung up

Call number two
I was going to tell you
That everything was your fault
And you were the reason
We would never work out
But I hung up

Call number three
I was going to remind you
Of all the things you said
To me the last time I saw you
But I hung up

Call number four
I was going to scream
Scream until my lungs exploded
And the world went black
But I hung up

Call number five
I contemplated driving
To your house
In the pouring rain
And tell you everything in person
But I hung up

Call number six
I remembered how your smile
Used to make life
A little more bearable
But I hung up

Call number seven
I remembered how your eyes
Light up the sky
Because the stars were jealous
But I hung up

Call number eight
I gave up all hope
Of trying to make myself
Not want you
But I hung up

Call number nine
I decided that I would say
Everything I could
To get you back
But I hung up

Call number ten
I started to cry
My hands were violently shaking
As I tried to hold the phone
But I hung up

And then came call number eleven
I heard your favorite song
And I looked down

Call number eleven
You told me
That you were sorry
And then you hung up

On times like this
He was the one
Who used to hold
Your hand amid
The busy streets

He was the one
Who touched you like
A cup of tea
Pressed on your skin
When times got rough

He cuddled with you
As the rain dropped
On your window pane
While you listened to vinyls
On repeat

He used to write you poems
On benches at parks
As he stared at your eyes
And watched people come and go

Someday, he said
I can’t love you anymore
You thought he was joking
But the bitter truth
Was that- he was not

You fell for him more
As the day passed
You soon realized
That you loved him
More than ever

On nights that felt
Like no one is awake
You let your souls out
While dancing along
Silly pop songs

He used to carry your bags
So you can shop
And bought you roses
When you overthink
A lot

He would come over
For he was used to
Being awake at 3am
To listen to all
That bothers you

14th of February
He took you out on a
Fun fair and made you
Laugh as if he
Had already stole your heart

He was sweet
You were quirky
In that sudden moment
Everything was
So beautiful


It was until you lost him



You never learned
How sad
It is walking
Down the road
All alone

You never learned
How it is to keep
All your problems
To yourself
With no one to listen

You’d bring out
The poems he
Had written you
Realizing how much he
Has loved you

As you sit beside his grave
Like any other Saturday
Talking to him
As if he was still alive

Where nights like this
You would like to
Sleep in his arms
Listening to the beat
Of his heart

But the pain is still there
Knowing that even if he
Knew he was dying
He still kept
On loving you

Because you'd rather
Watch sunsets
With him
Than mourning
For his death

-j.t