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I'm not used to hearing things
that make my heart beat fast
and my legs shake.
I'm not used to getting calls
unless it's 3 a.m.
and someone just needs to vent.
But man would I answer in
a heartbeat just so I can hear your voice
even when I just want to sleep.
 Feb 2015 Nikita Zulauf
Madhurima
I would have asked you to stay
But I knew you didn't want to
So I watched you go away.


                                                       ­                    *If you had asked me to stay

                                                          ­               I would have, but you didn't
                                                        ­                                     *
So I left, anyway.
isn't it weird
how you can go from being everything
to nothing in the blink of an ignored text message

you can talk for months straight
maybe even years
about everything and nothing

you can know more about each other
than anyone has ever known before

and then one day
one of you decides it's enough
and you stop replying
and you stop trying
and it's just over

no words to break it off
no heartfelt goodbyes

just a bunch of broken promises
stories that will never find their endings

it's just cut off
and you go on with your lives

never bothered to look back
I've told people I loved them, when I didn't
I've told people I'd stay, then I left
I've done things I shouldn't have,
I've kept quiet when I should have screamed.

These experiences have changed me, very much so.
But I am not these experiences.
I am not heartless, I am not a liar.
My mistakes have shaped me, my mistakes haunt me, but my mistakes do not dictate where I am going.

— The End —