Look at me like I'm nothing so that I show you more respect
You want me? then show me just a little more neglect
Forgive me- I want the worst of you
When you try and give me the best
I fell in love with a man who treated me like the rest
Question my validity
Like they did
Question my abilities
I'm just a little kid
Question my behavior
It's so out of line
Question how much I accomplish
In a certain amount of time
Question my foundation as it crumbles to the floor
Question your instincts
Do you even like me anymore?
Look at my fat
And turn away during ***
Ask me if I want food
I'll politely reject
Yell at me when I stutter
Correct me when I'm dumb
Make me feel like I'm drowning at the bottom of the ocean with water filling up my lungs
Cuz that's what they've done
And now this is who I am
A person who can't distinguish
Love from a demand
So I don't want to take your hand
It's too kind, too foreign
Point out my flaws
Or I'll keep on exploring

Hopelessness feels like your gently, gradually, sinking into quicksand
It is physically consuming and mentally exhausting
It performs a double trick, creeping, sticking to every inch of your tired skin, while taunting your stability; defying the remaining hope.
It mocks your gasps, blinding your eyes with the salty evidence of your weakness.

Your walk is quick, rapid, indifferent to everyone else's-
but the weight you pull is massive, painful and constraining.

Your face, cold, your eyes a sinking dusky void-
Unwelcoming, suffocating, searching for a savior.

These masochistic tendencies
Will never leave me whole,
Will only leave me empty,
Left mending a broken soul.