I would offer you the best sensations, shivers down your spine
Ecstasy thrown, mind blown, you begging to be mine
Stroke my ego and I might just stroke your skin
Your body a new world, where should I begin
Your face on mine, my hand now held just below your wrist
Now Ill start with your lips because I simply can not resist
The scrumptious shade of strawberry and the tastes even better
In my mouth your tongue had sung and left me even wetter
A calm that makes me no longer wanting to give up and give in
A kiss that I want to build a house on and with you live in
My hands hold your cheek
As I stare up at you rather meek
Then trace the lines on your face and run my fingers through your hair
Nihilistic
Pessimistic
Altruistic
We would make quite the pair
Around your lovely locks tightens my grip as I pull back slightly
biting on your lip, your hands gripping my hips so tightly
I would smile with a silent confidence
As you recount how long you've imagined this
Your imagination may not have prepared you, albeit wondrous and vast
To feel better than you've ever felt, just know that it cant last
I would offer you the best sensations, shivers down your spine
Ecstasy thrown, mind blown, you begging to be mine
you chuckled and told me a body like mine should come with a warning label
Your eyes hungry devouring me from across the dinner table
The long lost longing, the build up, the intense temptation
Your mind reeling from a new glorious sensation
Nothing could have gotten you ready for what you'd feel with me
Better than you've ever felt, so visceral and free
I'm as persuasive as I am perverse
A mind I'm sure you'd love to traverse
I would offer you the best sensations, shivers down your spine
Ecstasy thrown, mind blown, you begging to be mine.

Oh the energetic exchange when like minded souls meet
Leaves rotting on the air, suddenly somehow smell sweet
The sun shines in a way that your reminded its a ball of fire
And even as it sets, you have yet to tire
so awake, so dizzy, so much to think over
I rarely find sleep, hardly ever when I'm sober
Certainly not when I'm drunk from your embrace
A million words to describe your face
All falling short and failing to capture
The light in your eyes, at last the rapture.

I want to make you happy, make you think, make you ***
I want to take all your pain and make you numb
You the ruler of my heart, of my mind
Destroying my thoughts and making them kind
Full of love laughter and a careless abandon
Not another situation would I have wished to be land in
Your eyes your lips
Your hands grasped tightly on my hips
Oh Daniel how can this be true
A mirror reflection of my soul in you
Transcendental more than my body or mind
More than anything I had ever hoped to find
Cant be real must find the flaws
Nothing but fields, where used to be walls
Life and death, flowers and bugs, friendly and sweet
Can feel my breath that much more every time that we meet
Please say its not in my head
That you feel it too, that my heart isn't dead
Quintessential elation
Followed by a drug induced sedation
One that leaves you calm and well
Your face in my heart, as it starts to swell
Overcome with love, yes I'm falling
All this self doubt lay claim to the stalling
Please love me back
Please tolerate all that I lack
All the poison I contain
Take this madness and make me sane

You love the look, the electricity, desire my lightning
But you hate the thunder
I'll admit it can be frightening
When my mind burst asunder
Heart chakra tightening
You are the sun and i am the storm
But we need each other and you keep me warm
I told you I'd have you, running for the hills
The pain i would cause, along with the thrills
I'm an *******, completely undeserving
Unstable eccentric unpredictable swerving
Astounded that you will even have me in your presence
Like water for my soul, drown me in your essence
Your magic instills such a skillful resistance
To all of my depression and its relentless persistence
Quiet my heart, heavy and abrasive pounds
I just want to listen to music with you revel in the strange sounds
You help me walk in a world i forgot i could
Challenge what i do and remind me what i should
My sun in the sky my shaman, who re-introduced myself to me
My light tower in the distance when I'm lost at sea
Ill be yours if you'll be mine
Souls enmesh, utterly divine
Im needy attached possessive and insane
But i swear the love i can give is worth the pain

A fraud, I mistook you for a mystic and also took your word
How could I not, you sang my name and you sang like a bird
You kiss like a knight
And all your lies at first seemed white.
All mild, harmless, benign, small and inconsequential
But your ******* bohemian circle is still shallow and preferential
Small and inconsequential, that's what I am now
Small, no one can see me
but how?
how does one dissolve into nothing but still feel it all
No I'm not worthy of love, but still I hear her call
In the lonely night, the winds lonesome cackles
Scared and lonely, romantic shackles
I swear I ache and ache and once again ache
For the next time this hopeless heart of mine will break
God knows I ache and then ache some more
Wanting a man to leave me sore
But they just leave me sore.

Amorous gaze still not returned
Still hoping just
Undecided
You'll just  serve as the muse for a poem you'll never hear recited
Do I get entangled in the infatuation
The unrequited love, the obsession
Let his rejection send me spiraling into self doubt and depression?
Oh not I
Yes I will cry I will feel and I will write
Ill stare at the bruises on my inner thigh left from his bite
Ravenous
Raiding my temple
And me
Loving
Every second of it
Every angle,
Everything it meant and yes even everything that meant nothing
everything that meant nothing beyond that moment,
the hungry,
delightful,
destructive and wonderful moment.
collection of moments.
No, I've never been great at collecting.

Something to separate me, from the separation
All these connections, further isolation
Needing, wanting, lunch inside my belly slowly churning
Reaching, yearning, loss, the most painful learning
No
Such
Host
Is
Known
You left me and felt no need to explain
Which blemish ran you off, which flaw, which stain?
My eyes, starving and morose, peer up to meet your gaze
Suddenly unstable when I recognize your craze
No
Such
Host
Is
Known
Your **** eating grin, your pupils fully dilated
Now that my body has been irrevocably violated
I wanted *** and I still do
But now I know I don't ever want to have it with you
No
Such
Host
Is
Known
I blinded myself with desire, and desperate delusion
Aching for love, ***, society, Inclusion!
I'm a parasite, needy, attached, Like a barnacle I cling
Your just another lecher looking for another fling
No
Such
Host
Is
Known

Your lips taste like regret and regret tastes like liquor
Its making me feel better but I know Im getting sicker
Lungs lost in ash, decay and wasted dollars
voice spent from serendipitous holler's
Into the night screaming crying
waking, coffee, keep on trying.

No more dependence
No more being so reliant
Its time to be a woman
Its time to get defiant
No more of this looking for another
To make me feel finally whole
I've got a brilliant mind, functioning body
And a warriors soul.

Unstable as I recount that night
That reads more like fable
So impressed with you a musician
And I lacking a label
Quick to share all that I could, spirits on my side
New Belgium peach porch lager along for the ride


The future is nothing, no foundation for a seed to be grown
Still I have hope for love
One day, despite
All
Of the unknown


Until then you'll serve as inspiration
For a heart wrecked from desire and desperation
Your face will fill my canvas, along with my dreams
You'll be the stitching for a jacket that's been torn at the seams

Oh warmth, old friend
Oh Andrew, sweet stranger
Lost in the light of the full moon, the music, the danger
Danger
Risks
So necessary with this level of vulnerability
In between naivety and senility, with my great friend instability


A night that started like all the rest
Left me nervous, excited, hives on my chest
Sweet memory let me drain you for all your worth
Sweet love and romance, the salt of the earth!

Looking for a book, a gift, searching for a relic
Senses heightened, as if i took a psychedelic
I can feel every breath inhaled by each lung
Dissect every melody of every word sung
Can feel the air, the light behind his face
The perfect sentiment, the most pleasant place
Eyes locked, us both, sipping on pabst
Words flooding, time... lapsed
This welcome can not be over stayed
Anxious ramblings over and over and again replayed
Trying to appear more calm than I felt
Playing it cool, while my heart slowly melts
So cliche, so expected, so everything I've heard before
So I fell for my feelings and I fell to the floor
I pull myself down and again become grounded
Replay the words, your voice, and how sweet it sounded

The only heart you've got
Is the remnants of the many you've devoured.
All the sugary snatches
You regretfully soured.
No regrets at all. Lets not be coy
Your no poet, no musician, just a boy.

Here I am aching for some small affirmation
Still holding back overcome with desperation
Don't see me this way, I'll keep my distance
Begging the universe for your interest and persistence
One cup of coffee
One glass of wine
One kiss in the cold
Please be mine
75 minute staring contest, entranced in your gaze
I hardly blink, entangled in a haze
Energy and strings, invisible connection
Awkward glances, second chances, unsure of direction
Scared and hopeful, lost in joy
Seven years later, your no longer a boy
These symptoms of love leave me feeling sick
No sleep
Infatuation
And all too quick

Move forward
breathing
thinking
sinking.
One day my imagination
will manifest with great focus
and concentration.
Yet still with great hesitation
I mosey more and more forward
Always moving in the same direction
So turned on by the world at large
I give not a **** who if any, is in charge
I release a sigh...
Empty pockets, spent my cash
But I bought some wine and I have some hash

A slap of madness in the face
Putting my thoughts in their place
All through that stratosphere
Dark matter that had left me here

I'm not going anywhere
And I know its the wrong place to go
I'm ashamed of myself
And rightfully so.