it's been three months that together, we've been through
and by some chance, somehow, i still want to keep waking up everyday and choose you.
maybe it's because you make me a little more brave
or maybe because when i'm with you i don't feel like a damsel in distress you have to save.
yes, i still struggle with my irrational and pointless insecurity
but being with, and loving you has become my priority.
i'm no longer afraid of falling, as i was before
because being in love with you and who i'm getting to know, has never been a bore.

on the dotted line, sign the lease;
it's a deal for your inner peace.
where you sell your soul for a sum
in a hope that they tell no one.
you pray that the paper doesn't sell,
the fact that you have a one way ticket to hell.

picture this
growing old with someone you love
that you look across the table every morning and thank the heavens above
picture this
someone who is willing to give up their time
because they like interpreting all your riddles and rhymes
picture this
someone who holds your hand as they drive
someone isn't afraid of being vulnerable and ready to take the dive
picture this
all the hopeless-romantic love songs suddenly mean something
because you've finally found the one who has everything

why do we all suffer and live crying
why do we all sometimes contemplate dying
why do we all go through life hiding how we truly feel by lying
why do we all feel lonely but continue complaining online and alone whilst sighing
why do we turn away when we see others crying
why do we have to experience loved ones dying
why do we continue hurting others by lying
why do we not hear our world collectively sighing

the poem i wrote, i titled 'insecurity'
it's funny that it was dedicated to someone else, but now i'm writing about me
it's something consuming the person that i soon will be

it's not fully heartbreak,
but because of this whole mess my heart now has an ache.
i want to feel like you love me still,
but what if what happened is like our relationship's seal.
i love you more than you know,
please tell me we aren't at the end, and at an all time low.

i think we sometimes tend to forget
that sometimes the things that go, we let
maybe if we all tried a little harder to fight
these ghosts of the ones we loved would still be in sight
it's sad that things are sometimes this way
because at the end of the day, our happiness is the price we pay

we are moving so fast, and i can't seem to stop the spell that's been cast.
fear grips onto me, yet nonetheless he's the only one i want to see.
we have a fifty percent chance that we'll crash and burn, but i'm okay with that despite my concern.
he says he like me too, but what if he isn't truly wanting to pursue.
in the end though that's a relationship, we have to trust that we won't let the other slip.

and maybe it's all the little things...
all the words you've said,
all the times we've laid together in bed,
all the ways you show you care,
all the times you're with me when life is hard to bear,
not because i can't do it on my own like i have before,
but because i think you actually care and are a person that in turn, i care for.
in all these little things that i've grown to see,
i hope i can become a better woman, one that you might need me to be,
i want to comfort you if you need it most,
be the first girl there to be proud of your accomplishments and raise a toast,
i never want to hurt you,
but i want to always apologize if i ever do.
in all the little things one thing is clear to me,
you're the only man for however long we may be a 'we', that i want to see,
in all honesty i was afraid of trusting you with my heart,
but now i see that you've slowly just become a main part,
you're everything that i've ever hoped for,
and i hope you know that you mean all of these things above and more.

she was freezing cold
life without him though, would be so much colder
she was afraid of growing old
but with him, she wouldn't mind getting older
for he was always quite bold
and that passion is making her become someone bolder

what do you really know about me as a woman.
after all, we are two different halves for you are a man.

tell me what i can do with my body, i dare you to do so.
trust me, you will feel a hard blow.

because it is not just me that you are trying to control.
there are many women and we are not willing to be chained to a pole.

we as a collective group will not stand in silence.
but we will not also take a hand in the thing you expect, violence.

despite it all, it's not about what you want us to do, to act with poise.
for the ultimate fact is that we have the upper hand of choice.

i write most of these poems when i'm hurt or upset.
but also when i feel like i went wrong or have something i said that i regret.
it's to clear my thoughts and imagination.
to give myself time to think with very little hesitation.
it's never that i don't want you as the person in my life.
but rather me handling any fear i've felt and my inner strife.

i've been waiting for someone like you for my whole life.
and i hope that someday, a few years from now, if things keep going well, i get to be your wife.
because looking in your eyes, i feel like i'm safe and sound.
and when i'm feeling lost and alone, i know that with you, i would be found.
i sometimes feel crazy admitting that i'm absolutely in love.
but i know that every day i thank whoever is up in the sky above.
because they led me to you by some shallow-started state.
but maybe just maybe, i'm beginning to believe that you are my fate.

hearing the screams
my ears pound and beat to the hellish vibrations
eyes closed as they are in all dreams
but these are nightmares and childhood has dissippated from its stations

will it get better?
because it'll only get worse or so it seems
will it get better?
because tearing is happening at the seams

words, you reap and sow them,
so with words i am writing a poem.
words are harsh at times,
just like ugly, janky rhymes.
sometimes we use them to plot,
and it turns out those feelings churn in our stomach as a knot.
to believe words is an inclination to trust,
but without trust a relationship can decay and rust.
how is it that i can't articulate,
the words that get mechanical and perpetuate.
honesty with words is something new,
but you don't see that my honesty is something you already have seen and knew.
if we are our words then who are our actions,
and why do we act with different reactions?

a few months ago i was without someone and lonely,
but now he's become my first and could someday be my only.
i feel scared because i'm used to him
and someday what we have, could dim.
in all honesty i hope it never will
or else i don't know how i'll deal,
because the happiness i've found
is truthfully, all that profound.