Sly chances fade into the day
Inviting inverted obsessions
Taking its pleasures from the air
Breathed deep by light
Stained by angels and lovers
Healing to hurt more than pain
Speaking on thirds of needs
Walking miles of uncured steel
Impure by the thirst hearts leak
Drenched in hour-less hopes unfed
Left stained by starvation's gluttony

Lonely as disciples of light and dark
Separated by the dawning sun and setting moon
Nervous and twitching, unwatched
Keeping eyes fixated on flowers
Wilting and blooming in seconds
Unlike the humanity settled in minds
Blaming until accusation converts to disease
Fearfully and wonderfully made in hell's garden
Cultivated in the arteries of misery and loathing
Claiming bodies when used to spread restlessness
Lost in every word, growing cycles, created and pursued

Called by name and underneath all faiths
A sightless demon, kind and malicious with fallen tears
Diluted and taken with holy darkness by prayer
Anointed and desecrated with motions of heat
Written in scars and infatuated on sect dreams
Instilled for the beast that beats in *******
Void of taint and unpredictable by reality
Less to imagine when used in vain on street corners
Currency for the pleasure trapped in forsaken lips
Shackled to flesh like the cemented wounds sought after
By the stories of remorse and unrivaled insecurities

In saviors' fleeting lights, forgotten in memories of stone
Deep inside the walls painted of regrets and distorted by anguish
Synthetic to thoughts unbound to promise relief of fear
Reborn on racks screened from shrines in ironed will
An invincible corruption that grinds and gnaws holes in sleep
Stranded upon the skin in waves of emotional force poured out
Bottled and sold to ****** the clever yet troubled waters of youth
Placed in sheets by pillows, laid down amidst the confusion
Unquestioned these still born children of non-bridled futures
Glistened with rings, torn by time and parted on death's inauguration
This is love, shadowed and justified, always undefeated for all

©2006

Dash of lust in a cup
And poured from a passionate heat
Brew a romance, soaked in time

Stirred with a spoon of love
Double tap the edge of caution
Dripping drops of sensual ripples

Steam dances into the air
Caressing the surface and disappearing
As the taste hits the tongue

Urges cease on the taste-buds
Cuddling the heat and piquancy
Affectionately warming a soul within

My tea is done.

© 2014

Cast through the shadow
Your brilliance of saint white,
Yet you are still stained.

© 2008

There it was, final line to walk down
A tired sigh from the days lived on
The reasons never met each other, but
The earth held, held so much more allure

And one could swear
To be ready to hit the ground
And one could swear
This grave wasn't meant to be found

The feet believed, believed that they were walking through...
Perfect, it's a decision made premature
The ground's a guilty bed for the souls
Feeling dead, yet still so full of life.

It's nothing much, just a mislead prerogative
A second will hidden away inside this chest
The veins never connect together, though it'll never try
The heart has, has so much more to endure

And one could swear
To be ready to stop its beating sound
And one could swear
To bury their self in an earthly mound

The eyes perceived, perceived that they were thinking of these...
Wonderful, these secrets laid to wasteful memories
The call is there to make, but can could one really see it?
Sometimes death seems quite a beautiful feat.

© 2014

White chocolate suicide
This drizzle’s ****** ***
Hard whipped, it tantalizes
Steals air from her lungs

Five scoops of velvet flesh
Slight hint of cherries, bruised
This pleasure grows amidst
Flushed cheeks so rosy hued

Toss in a little cyan-dye
Sweet taste of passion blue
If dessert could ****, she’d die
To savor something new

It’s time to take a bite
Before it melts away
Might just take all night
It’s kidnapped her days

Searing as it warms her thighs
Wintry as it chills her bones
Soft-shell too hard to hide
Each taste’s a lustful moan

What’s better than her sweets
Covered in delightful gems?
Unparalleled this frozen treat
Even to her thoughts of him

© 2014

Are we nothing more
A gentle passing of air
Never known by name

© 2013

I haven't been a part of life for more years than I wish to count. It's the absence in the moments I've seen long ago, the scenes I once clung so desperately to belong to. The abstraction in my memories say I was once there, but the irregularities in my heart rationalize the doubt and assure me that wishful thinking was the only memory that occurred. The particularities of this symptom- if it could be called that- are quite strange. It happens so rapidly, I hardly pay it any mind; but if my mind wanders, the old theater in my brain plays a reel. The imagined scenes are portrayed on screen and I can see myself within them.

Happy... sad, maybe.

It makes no difference. The mood of the filming is enough to make the heart start an analysis. I'll feel a tug or two at my heart and wonder where I ever got this silly notion. It's odd and a little depressing, but it only makes me wonder- where was I and why did I think this happen? Some days, I think I have the answer.

It's only longing.

© 2013

So still, I've played this fool
The game of lonely talks
A clever thought this ruse
I find a shallow heart

A better lie once told
that truth is born by tools
And one by one, we've folly’d
Bound inward between ourselves

Be cautious and risk it all
No better life waits at ends
And all we've left to prove
Is an existence, left to apprehend

Based on imitations of perfect lives
Written by history of imperfect words
Made scripted by every human being
A temporary actor leading every act

© 2014

Where has it gone?
This singularity of a heartbeat
A moment of comfort and sadness
In which it was free to be aimless
Wandering in this present reality
There is a silent sign, forever bound

Where does it go?
Every second it passes by
For each and every word that sits
Idly on the tongues of perfect strangers
Worlds apart in heart and mind again
It's still a silent concept of a reality

Where has it been?
Staring down all in wait
Never a move backwards
Never a step to alter its weight
But the worth is far too precious to waste
And there's so little left to give away in this state

Where will it be?
When sought for in vain
Can it be found again to be bought?
Presented to those who have lost too much
To gain back what once was lost;
Well it’s lost, and lost again and again.

© 2014

Coriander
The recent smell of caffeine
In the empty cup, with her
Teeth marks in the Styrofoam.
Thyme
Crushed with the lemon aside
The stain from her cut is
Nearly gone, yet it never dried.

It's nearly there...
The scent of her skin.
It's nearly there...
As she turns away from me.

P-e-p-Bless you-p-e-r
Spoon against her lips; scolding
Still sneeze on a kiss… sending her away.
Salt
Without the knife parting the layers
While the smell will sting her eyes
Only if she'd wipe the cutting board clean.

It's nearly there...
The scent of her skin
It's nearly there...
As she turns away from me.

© 2007

She sat by the creek underneath the bridge, flicking nearby pebbles and watching them roll into the water. It wasn't so quiet for her with the crickets and the water flowing, but between them both there was world of silence. And that’s what took her breath away- did he really ask her to be here? Right now, at this time, at this exact moment? She could only contemplate what his reason was, but she had hope it was for all the reasons she wanted.
He stood shy of the nearest light post, hidden in darkness save the faint outline of his profile. He wasn't so surprised at being there, but he was surprised that she was there. He could already feel the tenseness surrounding her, enveloping her like quicksand, and he didn't know whether to save her from it or just let her sink alone. He wasn't even sure why she was here, not to mention why he came at all on such short notice. Such an important matter that couldn't be discussed over the phone… right, as if that was really so believable.
Plink
Another pebble scampered down the uneven ***** and fell to its watery doom in the water. It must've been the seventh or so pebble send to rock hell- he should know, he’d had been counting in silence… well, silently. Tired of the quiet (and standing), he sighed deeply as he summed up his resolve to approach her. Almost without a word, he could feel her concentrated sight on him, watching every step that he made until he came into view. Sitting down next to her, he picked up a pebble and rolled it between his fingers, shortly tossing it in the water. A successful end to the peace, he thought to himself.
Plink
They came out here at the request of both of their friends… a clever ruse to get them to see each other without letting they know the reason behind it. Ah, those clever friends, waiting to hear the juicy details of exactly what happened at the bridge this night. Well, it wouldn't be much if this was how it was going to be. Either way, those friends would be meeting their early demise as soon as these two could escape the gravitational pull of embarrassment they had locked their orbit around.
They sat, fidgeting about for a few minutes, tossing more pebbles into the creek. No eye contact, just enough movement to grab a pebble and flick a finger forward. Minutes would have felt like an hour to any spectator, boring them to sleep… until an accidental movement from both parties.
Quick reflexes and **** reactions initiated themselves involuntarily. This wasn't an accidental meeting anymore- it was a strategic battle between two parties ready for an all-out lust war. The intense energy of the stares between them was near atomically ******- the passionate force behind it plowing itself into the massive platform of icy silence they fought upon.
He steadied his gaze on her, eyes fixated on her cheeks flushing red in the low light as her eyes met with his. She wasn't in control anymore; her eyes darted from his eyes to his lips and back again, heat rising from her chest like magma under pressure. He felt his nervousness fade into something else… something more carnal and more focused on her touch and scent. Almost as if directed by primal instincts, his eyes turned to her lips… plump, pink, and glowing- as if coated with kerosene and lit on fire.
It was the jump off of the cliff, the trains on a collision course, the launch of the torpedoes, the moment the President of Hearts had smashed the glass cover that encased the launch button for the **** Day missile and the coordinates were set for that very bridge out of all the bridges in the world.
And within that moment of hesitation, it was all over. His hand slipped on some loose gravel and he ended up falling forward, head-butting her on the forehead. The two reeled back in pain for a few minutes, until they started to giggle to themselves. And that giggle grew into a loud chuckle and evolved into a ferocious uproar between them. As they calmed down and wiped away the tears of laughter, a flashlight was suddenly shown on them.
“Hey, what are you two doing down there? Get out from there now,” the police officer said with a stern voice.
They followed his command and came up to meet the officer, apologizing profusely as if they just went full-on Bonnie & Clyde. The officer just smiled and gestured for them to calm down.
“You’re not in any trouble; it’s just dangerous to be out here so late. So just take your girlfriend home and make sure her parents aren't worried, alright?”
“…. b-but she’s-… yes, sir,” he said, stopping himself from continuing. “I’ll take my girlfriend home right now.
She blushed even more as she felt the warm grip of his hand pulling her softly forward and squeezed back gently. She followed him as he walked, even though their homes were in the other direction.

She was dressed like a sweet mint candy drop
And roaming through the aisles as if to shop
For a new adventure and a brand new taste

Caught up no less than a romance film’s drama
A little boy that was ‘fresh from his mama’
Out to explore the Candy Store one day

And the aisles slept like a movie reel running
Just to end when the suspense starts coming
A thread of taffy that could be called ‘love’

But who could surmise that the taste was such a dud
And that both candy hearts had trampled through the mud
Just like a thousand little wrappers on the ground

Felt it like it was just another yesterday
When his candy heart was on display
And he could see the joy twinkle in her eye

For the life of him, he could’ve seen it coming before
As it she let it slip and shatter on the floor
The moment she finally said “Goodbye.”

I've swallowed whole my humble pie
For years now without remorse
I was content to leave it all as such
And let all things take its 'natural' course
But then I learned I could take a pen
And weave words around a rhythmic display
If it wasn't for that fateful chance
I wouldn't be half the man I am today

Because when I get sad, I close the door
And I cry
But when I get sad and think of these words
I get by

These words are my reconciliation
To a life in which I can relate
But I feel so shameful
When I chose mine
Because I chose mine

For years to come, I would covet this
A final poem, a final prose
And in the hours that past me by
I never seem to write any of those
These words I love to put to the test
As if tried and true never failed
And in my path comes consequence
of the catered streams where they wade
I've used them up, I've brought them down
On many, oft without mercy or delay
Without them, I'd never get this far
I'd never tell you in this way

But when I get here and close the door
I can get by
But when I'm alone with these words
I still cry

These words are my appreciation
Something I can dedicate
But it’s often so painful
When I chose mine
Because I chose mine

©2015 Neal Emanuelson

And it came like a crash
Enveloping us in a low warmth
Employing its fevered reach to hold us down
And without a word, it came again and again
Relentless and ongoing, restless and immortal

It whispered calm and destructive words
To ease and frighten us into a false sense of security
Lulling a sweet compromise for life and understanding
With a caress and a sigh, more questions than answers
It robbed us of everything all at once

So there we stood, stripped of reason and innocence
Blind and unconcerned for safety and unheeded warnings
Confiding in each other for life and companionship
To wander aimlessly without purpose and end
Coming to call the sacred demon by a single name

Love.

© 2014

The Lord spoke of words today
Reminding me of how much He has given me
Caught unaware by the words that He said
Revealing the sins of my broken faith

And as my luminous wings began to fray
He began pulling my feathers, one by one
Until I was naught more than broken man, afraid that
I have faithlessly sought only after His forgiveness

I begged him, “Please, of what sins and immoralities
had brought me so far away from your pathway
towards salvation and your forgiveness?”

And He said, “But you’re the one that slipped away.”

The devil spoke of words today
Reminding me of how much I owed him
Lost in the thoughts of what he had said
Revealing threads of his devious puppetry

By the strings and by a finger’s delay
I danced his twisted show of mockery
Despite how much I struggled to break free
I depended far too much on his malicious guidance

I begged him, “Please, of what uncertainties
had brought me so far down this pathway,
towards misery and your relentless tug?

And he said “You’re the one that’s slipped away.”

©2014

Like a thief, I’m just stealing time
Another inch to your foot
Steal another minute, maybe two of mine
And just a whisper was all it took

I’ve stolen my words, I’ve stolen lines
Would you still like to take me home?

Another month and I’ve stolen your voice
Entwined on a stolen chair
And as we meet so often in the night
I believe I’ve stolen your despair

I’ve stolen my words, I’ve stolen my lines
Would you still like to take me home?
I could steal just about everything
Would you still like to take me home?

So now I’ve stolen promises right from your lips
Along with all of your warmth
And in the night I’ve stolen your hips, too
Laying across from you with stolen sins

I’ve stolen your space, I’ve taken your time
Would you still like to take me home?
I’ve stolen a glance, hell- I’ve stolen your shine
Would you still like to take me home?

You said I’m honest but that’s an honest lie
I’m sure you’ve heard that line before
We could talk of God and lightning strikes
Taking three extra steps, maybe four.

And when I’ve stolen everything I can
Could I steal what’s left of your hope?
To see me again is more than a passing chance
Another ‘someday’ just to cope

I’ve stolen my words, I’ve stolen my lines
I could steal just about everything
But the one thing I’ve lost and cannot reclaim
Was the heart that you gave me.

And I’ve stolen your love, I’ve stolen your trust
I could steal just about everything
But the one thing you’ve got that will never rust
Is the hate that you have for me.

© 2014

Screams were heard out in the pastures
and came a horizon much like ash on the hearth
Shadows moved infinitely
The sounds grew diminutively
The prelude to the rapture of the earth.

The Dead caught quickly to the masses of souls
Hailing words and weapons of demonic origin
Carrying the faces of no strangers
Those once loved threaten dangers
Of what was human, but now suffused in sin.

Lives flooded the pathways ‘tween houses
Terror coated their faces like a blinding veneer
The feeble fell sprawled
Crushed in panic by all
Those they had once cherished and trusted so dear

“The most primitive of emotions begets the bonds once made
when one would gladly **** their child to live another day.”

The hooded figure had spoken this truth to the King
In a voice so trustful, endearing, yet cold
“A miracle, for you, can be given
To save men, women, and children
But I will take the most precious of treasures you hold.”

The King gave no reply in the earnest of propositions
Yet rendered this a miracle none could pass.
“Only in exchange for a treasure,
One of your choosing- my pleasure,
But of my most precious, what could you possibly ask?”

From under the hood came an un-ethereal voice
“Your soul shall be all that I’ll need…”
With fiery sparks and a turn
The fabric had burned
Exposed his dark presence- Mephistopheles.

A deal with the darkest of Princes bodes endless misery
“Your God has forsaken you; your destiny now lies with me.”

The King fell down to his knees in despair
For his life, his Kingdom could be spared
“You’d take my life and not my kingdom
My people must have their freedom.
For such, no misery in your hell could ever compare.”

Mephistopheles erupted with such contentment
The Kings folly- pure, innocent and bare
Without sound or sight
The King’s soul, crushed pure light
Mephistopheles disappeared in a dark wisp of air…

© 2013

Screams were heard out in the pastures
and came a horizon much like ash on the hearth
Shadows moved infinitely
The sounds grew diminutively
The prelude to the rapture of the earth.

The Dead caught quickly to the masses of souls
Hailing words and weapons of demonic origin
Carrying the faces of no strangers
Those once loved threaten dangers
Of what was human, but now suffused in sin.

Lives flooded the pathways ‘tween houses
Terror coated their faces like a blinding veneer
The feeble fell sprawled
Crushed in panic by all
Those they had once cherished and trusted so dear

“The most primitive of emotions begets the bonds once made
when one would gladly **** their child to live another day.”

The hooded figure had spoken this truth to the King
In a voice so trustful, endearing, yet cold
“A miracle, for you, can be given
To save men, women, and children
But I will take the most precious of treasures you hold.”

The King gave no reply in the earnest of propositions
Yet rendered this a miracle none could pass.
“Only in exchange for a treasure,
One of your choosing- my pleasure,
But of my most precious, what could you possibly ask?”

From under the hood came an un-ethereal voice
“Your soul shall be all that I’ll need...”
With fiery sparks and a turn
The fabric had burned
Exposed his dark presence- Mephistopheles.

A deal with the darkest of Princes bodes endless misery
“Your God has forsaken you; your destiny now  lies with me.”

The King fell down to his knees in despair
For his life, his Kingdom could be spared
“You’d take my life and not my kingdom
My people must have their freedom.
For such, no misery in your hell could ever compare.”

Mephistopheles erupted with such contentment
The Kings folly- pure, innocent and bare
Without sound or sight
The King’s soul, crushed pure light
Mephistopheles disappeared in a dark wisp of air...

-End of Part III-

A royal army set out in the coldest of air
Fatigue and unrest coating their souls
From the glow o'er the hills
Unprepared eyes had stood still
From the sight they had come to behold

The coast lay in ruins as black as the night
A sea-going river flowed crimson as rose
Amongst fires danced shadows
Cast over the red snows
Demonic forms whisked in their glow

The people once merry were piled in pyres
The stench traveled far towards one's nose
The smell of burned fears
Could force any man's tears
To witness of horrors that were shown

The horrors they envisioned were as painful as can be
The hatred swelled in masses of demonic energies

The General raised hands and signaled divisions
The army traveled and surrounded the town
A fierce call to arms beckoned
Caught by the fear reckoned
The army stormed towards the blackened ground

The shadows danced not on the decadence of power
All eyes entranced on the oncoming wave
Shrieks so under worldly
A power surged, so godly
Rushed through their body, no shield could stave

In an instant all was quiet and the battle was silenced
The army laid dead all but just one
The soldier was frightened
of such power, enlightened
Fainted ill of such fate to be shunned

"Wake and see the follies of your Kingdom's ways
No God will tend to the wounded of any soul that prays"

The lone soldier awoke to the sting of the sun
And the tense air that seared through his lungs
Took view of the land
where nothing now thus stands
To ponder what unearthly forces have done.

In the center of the town laid a hole in the ground
The hells of brimstone and sulfur impure
From the edges came crawling
dark forms creeping and sprawling
The dead of the coast, enraged from the hells they endured...

Let's speak of a kingdom that ceases to be
A downfall that passes in time
Through the mouth of our elders
And the lips of our child
The truth buried all the while

The kingdom, a treasure of sight to behold
Its beauty to match none have seen
But if beauty so precious
Was meant to be cherished
Why do stones cry out as they bleed?

The kingdom proved prosperous in the eyes of its people
King and royalty none could refute
But if a stranger conveyed mystery
Could alter just history
Arrived a hooded soul bearing a lute

He played such songs of virulent, reviled memories
Of one who’s pain could not be quenched from misery

The King heard enough of such terrible hymns
And cast sight of this poor soul away
With kindness refused
He promised a tune
That would please every ear that heard play

“Thy kingdom is vast and its subjects enjoyed
But facades are employed nonetheless
A scheme for thy king and a prize for thine queen
Thou subjects shall never protest

A dream in a bottle and a myth in the air
A dagger for each tongue that claims nay
Thy royal folly with intent to unfold
Thine King shall have thy own way

Thy kingdom with no vices shall destroy it all
A kingdom with no reasons has marked its own downfall”

The King yet enraged cast off this charade
And struck his sword, laced with ill-will
“Thy kingdom shall burn,
Thine lesson be learned
You will fight till thy heart is yet still”

Without wasting a single step forward
Without comprising the silence of sound
The hooded soul cackled
With laughter like shackles
His form sank deeper than that of the ground

-End Part 1-

© 2013

The stranger unheeded by the ears of the King
Aided with prosperity that swelled fat in their minds
But ill-storms foreboding
A wounded messenger came warning
of a hellish army not far behind.

"They ***** and they pillaged without mercy
and killing all of the living they see!
The bloodshed flowed rivers,
my heart still doth shivers-
I urge thou act with haste and urgency!"

The King now concerned of fates now certain
"From where do you hail?" asked the King
"I've traveled from the Thales north
after the destruction of Shale's port-
I beg you now your army to bring!"

© 2013

The King paced his throne whilst in anguish
Prayer and hatred raced through his voice
His knees met the ground
With angry fists he had pound
In the fate of his kingdom, he had never a choice

“My kingdom in danger and my army- most gone…
What could God’s plans be for us?” asked the King.
“My people look for a savior
My Queen begs me to save her
But of miracles, I haven’t such a thing!”

A callous cackle echoed the throne room
Darkness claimed possession of each crease
In the center, a figure
Feeble, and yet limber
with a smile pure of trust and deceit…

© 2013

What is the fate of the kingdom we spoke of
What resolution came in exchange for a soul?
The kingdom was ravaged
So brutal and savage
The people were slain in such numbers untold

The loneliness came in swiftly like lions
And coated all much like blanketed snow


The Dead roamed freely for eons to come
Their sins left them to rot and decay
A penance must have come
For their sins came undone
And the earth swallowed their soul in its clay

Of mankind there was none but a whisper
Made by soft beat of every bird’s wing
But one child survived
Yes, only one stayed alive
And my story is all that I sing.

© 2013

The spark of life's end
Innocence caught in the blast
Destroyed with regret

© 2013

Consciously unavoidable and these thoughts do persist
Because in time all will cease to exist in this state of mind
Occupied and reoccupied with tangible artifacts of a memory
In this present day of the long past in the short future’s ascension

May it shatter lungs in its recourse or asphyxiate the will
Seizing all oxygen of thought and a last spark of regret
May well rally life in mourning of the clock’s tick last
But with the last tock’s tick, the final second passes numbingly slowly

The bitter reality never knows how it comes about
And the bitter truth is its best never to know
As it comes often silently, sometimes loudly in its realization
It’s the sunset of all memory and life one holds
Known best by the bitter name
Death.

© 2014

It is these kinds of people
That take and consume
Out of kindness and sincerity

It’s our kind of people
That allow this to continue
Taken for granted and abused

It’s her kind of people
That are stereotyped and misjudged
Slurred by prejudice and sexism

It is his kind of people
Blinded by forced upon masculinity
To be a man by fist and violence

It is my kind of people
That takes to silence and words
To create a voice powerful and raw

It is your kind of people
To take heed of importance and morals
And right that which has wronged for centuries

These kinds of our kind of her kind and
His kind of my kind of your kind.
All in all will fall in kind until we all fall kind in kind.

© 2014

And in the shallows of time she laid
Fated on the unclear ripples of uncertainty
Yet seeing through the mists and murky depths
Made claim her life is finite and impact undefined
She floated amongst dreams without fear and obstacles
And loved all with strong words aside from her own
As fate would recall her, she was naught an angel
But shone brilliance onto the water’s surface
Was naught a demon bearing ill nature
But tempted good fate with every word
Her life, lived; her bounds, boundless
And every moment in stride without fear

For her memory, I honor her my words in heart
And live to breathe another day amongst the scattered leaves
Only admiring her fiery strength and determination abound
I could only wish her a final farewell, delayed, but earnest
To see her off to the rivers and seas beyond her shallows

In loving memory Ina, always.

© 2014

Waking up from the happiness towards the moments I now feared
As the shadows of the moon have all but softly disappeared
Is it a waste counting down the days to finally accompany you, my dear?
Believe me when I said I’ve never felt so far from… closure.

Deep within those eyes so clear

The seconds seemed so trivial and the passion long overdue
While the rain soaked our skin, much like how love used to
Every sigh that you released believed it was too good to be true
Would you believe me if I said I’m falling further… away?

Into those waters so blue

Patience and hope fell through in those days of joy and remorse
Trusting each day to be better than to let life run its uncertain course
Until the day it came that belief in those words could no longer be forced
Sometimes I wish I didn’t believe… always and forever, you’d love…

In mine and yours and us and ours
Drifting in silence of nothing… for hours

Upon words and thoughts, that no longer mattered
Drifting in silence, like a heart… only shattered

Far away and isolated, still you reappear in my sight
The lands you could never be have whispered your name in light
Of the tears you'll never see until my heart gains flight
Will I be reborn again or am I still only wishing to feel alive... with you?

In the final moment where you had opened your eyes
The pool of tears you had left has only become mine
You've flown away with time and regret, but with a smile after the sighs
When I finally meet you again, I will tell you all about…

the soul that never crossed the ocean.


My soul will never crossed the ocean… without you.

© 2014

A coarse voice reaches over the hilltops
speaking clear passion to the fading daylight,
but this is the sunset that's never spoken-
showing little of what it knows.

With this heartbreak, the sunset disappears,
willing nothing to give but to cold meadows.
Alone the coarse voice speaks sadness
of why we damage ourselves for fleeting warmth.

© 2009

On the troubled path
One will encounter devils
But few live to tell...

© 2013

Love sounds like a bitter chore
Three more words said by liars
Laced with only good intents
Yet dies before it breathes
Yearning for another life

Eventuality becomes eternity
And silently those words are taken
Caught up again in the bittersweet rush
And brought down again by the same old
Tired ball and chain of fate

Easier to feign ignorance with age
Practicing words for old time's sake
With no one on the end to receive
The hollow words can only echo since
Their meaning lost far too long ago

© 2014

Sorry that I didn't take
your sincerity with a smile.
No, this seat isn't taken but
The space between is reserved vacancy.
You really shouldn't yell like that-
someone might hear you and think
badly of your character,
something that I can't help but do.

Now you mumble and you stare
From a seat so far from here.
I bet you'd hate me now
If you'd remember who I was,
but I bet you'd love me more
if I could drive you wild.
I'll pass by and blow a kiss
just to ignite your flame.
As much as I would have meant it,
The feeling would not be the same.

© 2009

Conscious thoughts of her crying for days on end
And more thoughts of how things could be, if changed
If given to her all the energy, that would take away
What would there be left to save, if she gave it up?
She’d take willingly the love, the one she’d ****
Not sure of how it will last, it was used up before
Insecurities within her silence, she’s been that way for days
But that’s the distance that she hates, what amazes her to do this

It is said it’s never too late to grow up and learn right
But there’s always another who looks at the past to laugh
At our mistakes as we love each other, afraid of it together
The pain separates equally, but you lived without me before
It’s no tragedy for trying, much worse guilt for sacrifice
Now tell me who’s lying and who’s given life yet another chance
To complicate the open talk, clench words in her fist
No pain with voiced raised, it was never there to begin

Holding on to hold more, to kiss clean the lips of the taint
She lives lonely in her world, still more waiting in her rage
And it eats at her insides… to think more of this trait
And it’s the only thing that will keep her amused
She takes what she wants and she gets what she claims
She’s waiting by the water, her only source for the calm
It’s the chance to heal her fear and time lies in wait
Prowling for the reason, the reason the hate won’t recede

Nowhere to go, yet there is a place to be
She wanders no roads and travels more than wind
Spanning across her dismal mindscape, hurt till no end
Disturbed by that one being that gave up so much for her
But could not give enough, so the living perished
Forgotten by the romancers of the stars, having their way
Disposable time for a replaceable feeling, she gave in to the hole
That consumed her little heart, blackened by the true words

© 2005

Another heart waits
Amongst the fields and meadows
Time's a pleasant lie

Oh hail toothbrush, haven’t seen you since last night
I’ve returned again to cleanse an overbite
Spread the paste thick and minty across your bristled skin
Over the lips and on the culprits, 007 of oral hygiene going in

****, it feels good-

Morning scrubs do away with yesterday’s store appetizer samples
Clinging and eroding the ceramic protection of my enamels
Its poor thin concealing of my porcelain I must protect
Just a little more push and pull- haven’t even eaten breakfast yet
Foaming at the mouth, rabid plague of plaque I’m getting rid of
What extra harm for today’s meals I should have considered

But it’s alright-

My dentist smiles and offers a primary root canal adjustment
But the filling he’s drilling in won’t do too much for my budget
One hand to my jaw could cause my little car to swerve
Unbearable agony from the glass casing encasing that vital nerve

One hole’s enough for today-

Make it home, disgusted jaw line of cotton by the mirror
Spit soaked clouds are temporary relief for bearer
Grab the blender, toss it up, eggs and bacon with my juice
It’s no use- my straw’s stuck with gunk and nothing’s coming loose.

But what about this canker sore?

© 2008

Strewn across the subtle cheeks of a dawning moon
With fields indifferent, prosaic to the sight
Lie here we, two of unknown
A marketplace amid the glances of the trees
The entice of personal intersections, interlocking fingers
Breathe here we, two of something
The planetary axis which revolves minds
Communications between the satellites' equivalent sight
Exist here we, two of everything
The layers of earthen blankets rest stonework of proof carved
In cradle-craft eternity stars moved in time's untested arms
Forever here we, two of nothing.

© 2007

Fearing the shape of
The soul underneath my breath
Ripping and clawing
The barriers between her chest
Savage and alluring
Every pore drips slow with haste
Taking time… to savor
This chance should never go to waste

Opened her eyes and made her see
This a different person in me

Heat rising, the core is
The nerve one must try to find
Disregard all morals
What I’ve found must now be mine
A liquid aphrodisiac
The cries are strange and out of place
The hunter is hunting
And lust is found to be the game

Opened her eyes and made her scream
Is the beast of lust in me?

The ecstasy in feral means
Ignores her pleas of decency
Will I destroy what I love?
The loss of mind in lustful gaze
A fall from grace, now unafraid
Slowly, assured that I'm…
Assured of the beast of lust in me.

Freedom is the woman that doesn’t know I love her
As I watch her from the distance of passing heartbeats
It’s a strange affection that I long to grasp
My touch upon her skin and lips joined
It is a folly of a romance in thought and truth

Captivity is the young lady that knows our love is gone
Denying the truth from a vacant window
She eyes and tries and pries into my life
Looking to gain back what kept me from her
It is simply that which lead me to stray

Betwixt, I find Solace- the mistress that is unaware
Out meetings are coincidental at best
She gives me the same comfort as she does all the others
But Solace could never be my lover.

So I remain unlovable at best.

© 2014

Silent sounds brush
The eerie calm chants.
We knew it would happen,
But when would it happen?

Sing to me the sweet pain
And stem not the bleeding.
Tell the tale of summer’s cold
And breathe in the flames of winter.

You can pass my eyes
Without a second glance,
As I lip sync my thoughts
Onto your soft skin.

Resist not motion
Of a cherry sensation
Sweet, yet wild as
A blossom in full bloom.

© 2004

I could hold my breath and still feel empty,
void of air and all the things she swore are here.
When every wrong move presents the defects in me
and she wonders why I don’t speak as often out of bed.

I could write it again, but a hundred times more wouldn’t help her.
If she doesn’t believe in it now, then there just nothing more to say.
Stared out my window and let the sounds I hear dictate my heartbeats
of the silent night where her smiles were still never mine.

I see through the looking glass, but it lacks a certain quality
that suggests I’m not ready to hear the sound of a smirk across her lips.
Her attention to me and the love fades slowly like water ripples…
now I know that I’m not the only one stealing her smile.

But calling it jealousy gives it such a horrible undertone
and I know that I can’t be the center of her world every time.
But for the hours I have left before my clock’s plug exits the wall-
Hey, I know I liked the sound of the alarm that she rung in my heart.

© 2007

Earthquakes due to a dropped feather
cause angels to fly underground
and demons to flood the skies.
Blood drips upward from crying eyes
while deep gnashes pour tears into the
dampening air.
Twisted words are humble as pie
but nice words are salt to the earth as
the grass cuts my skin.
Arctic prisons melt the sun with
cooling hate while we toy with the
lives of millions.

We never existed.

Mushroom people sitting around
all day, but who would believe you
when you've had too much sugar.
Let your mother pray for your death
as father prepares the swords and
pushes hilt deep past existence.
Apocalypse seems so futile now
as we already planned our demise.
We breathe, we live, we go.

We never existed.

We hide past our views on other
and we make broad assumptions
that were are not perfect.
Say it once, say it twice for
the guardian of Styx takes
all with the toll of time.
Sadness be it a disease or
an undying feeling for all
to bear in every way possible.

We never existed.

Be it a means to a life of
darkness or a life of light
Everything comes with a price
upon its own record.
Brace the darkness and brace
life giving force that compels
and attracts souls to unison.
Give up now or bear with
the truth of all things while
we wait and cry the night.

We never existed through
our own eyes, therefore
why should we start now?

Because. We. Never. Existed.

© 2004

She received a letter
Dreaded in these modern times
What belonged in her arms
Was armed on the front lines
Thoughts buried softly in shells of gunfire
Paper clenched in her hand, barely left there
Breathing

She stands in her dismay
“He will return to me someday.”
Her mind pacing through her memories
As her days aged longer still
She clings to reasons no one will
Until he set foot back in his home
She would rest here alone.

She received a phone call
Picked up with a hopeless taste
Hospital front desk states
Her lover won’t be home today.
Forever waiting by dimming porch light
She stares awake in her chair, left alone there
Breathing

And the years fade on
“He just can’t be gone.”
Pictures fading with all her memories
As the door creeps open slow
The only footsteps she could know
Return safely home to her arms
No longer could she be alone.

© 2008

What is left of the window smudge
when the lips that yearn kiss against
a bitter reflection of what isn't real?

It's a solemn wish towards that hope,
for one faithless day the eyes will play,
play trickery into the hearts of one crowd
but pierce but one heart in an earnest gavotte.

"Will you see me today?"

"I will see you again, someday."

And there was the glimpse of what is not,
the aura of self-release into those eyes
but betrayed and hollowed, no one loves more.

The copious crowd dispersed, save one soul-
Waiting effortlessly in the seconds that
none could cherish more than their own.

"You see me today."

"I saw you, someday."

© 2007

Sitting so peacefully on a window sill,
Eyeing the world as it sees you cry.
Your window becomes your gateway,
Your world, and your prison in hell.

A transparent frame to focus your sight
On the joys of others not known.
You’d love to be with them, but alas
You are a simple outcast behind glass.

As your heavy sigh breathes a canvas
You toy around with your written feelings.
This message, shown to the onlookers,
Will be your communication and aid tonight.

Send them the message that you want out,
Out of this life behind a clear barrier.
Find that the one looking inside your world
Could be your own self, wanting to look in.

© 2004

Immorally, my lustful gaze eyes in a false bid to need you
Unappeased from the respites of my attempts to dream you
And in my efforts, I’ve still yet to ascertain my conviction to find you
But until then, an entire sense devoted to imagination to taste you
However, taste is a mean fraction of my malicious, intent to use you
And in a blinded craving, good intentions eluded, will involuntarily scar you
In a perverted aim to behold and savor you, to protect, enjoy and *******
Is the beginning of my undoing, as I callously sin again and again, and break you

And then with no further defense but to erase you,
and politely in my heart, I move bitterly to bury you,
I return fruitlessly to the beginning again, to need you.

© 2014