Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Her
I would be alright seeing you with her if you hadn't told me you loved me.
I wouldn't be so broken if you hadn't made me feel like I was the only girl in your world.
I wouldn't be so hurt if you hadn't promised me your unconditional love.
If you had left my heart alone, I wouldn't hate you.
You're silly if you think I need you

I stopped depending on people a long time ago
I drank too much and played too many sad songs and cried too hard
Just because I wanted you

As simple,
And complicated,
As that was
And that's what scares me
The fact that I'm accustomed to loving people beyond any level than they know how to love
I've spent my life forgiving and pouring out second chances when there were none left to give
Because that's how it works
When you love someone the way I do
And it's easy for me because I've never been loved that way
Until you

And quite frankly,
That's terrifying
I love you
I am hopelessly and desperately in love with you
But I love my well being too
And the last thing I want to choose between one or other
But I will if you force me

And as much as it saddens me,
I won't be choosing you
Boys taught me if I wasn't beautiful
Then I was nothing
They abused my emotions
Until I did whatever the hell it took
To become whatever attractive was
I've been told that I am now
But I could never explain to you why
They always mention my eyes?

Boys taught me if I wanted to get anywhere in life
Then I needed to manipulate their desires
So they'd fall into a trap
And feel things that could never be fulfilled
They trained me to walk and smile a certain way
So I could get what I needed
As they held it in their hands

Boys taught me that my body is the greatest feature I could ever offer
Bottle up any emotions
Because they'd rather not deal with mine
Because feeling is scary
And girls are supposed to be easy
They'd make me dependent
Without taking any responsibility for my mental well-being

Sure
Girls are insane
But wouldn't you be too
If you had the weight of man's world
Suffocating you?

Sure
Girls are crazy
But wouldn't you be too
If your whole life you were taught that you wouldn't be hurt
If you were beautiful
But when you become beautiful
It becomes their greatest form of abuse?
Everyone currently needs to realize it's the first of December tomorrow.

I used to constantly think about how this boy broke my heart, and how i will never get over him.

I used to hate my adviser when i was still in high school, thinking she hates me more than i do to her.

I used to feel embarrassed when people stare at me. I was once a paranoid and all i cared about was how people think of me:
"how do i dress?"
"how do i look when i smile?"
"do these boys think i'm cute?"
"these bunch of girls probably hate me"
"i'm so ugly"

I used to cry every night while talking to Him. I forgot to be thankful with what i had.

I used to hate myself, and this hatred nonetheless reflected on my own self. I became a chaotic, impulsive ***** who only thinks about how to fit in in this society.

I used to read sad poems.

I used to write sad poems. Poems about how i hate myself so much that i actually wished to die.

I used to think that my first love had to be some insignificant boy, when it should have been myself.

And now, just a few minutes before the clock hit 12, I finally realized how tough i am to survive in these hardships. I finally learned how to appreciate myself. And by this time, I am so sure about one thing: I'm so in love with myself and all my millions.
Next page