Never meant to be a symbol.
There are others who came before.
They carried the cross long before me.
I walk their path with head held high;
A journey emblematic of the times.

Getting here took some time.
Determination of Napoleon…
The grit of John Wayne…
The courage of the Cowardly Lion…
All emblematic of what was required.

Now, I am free.
Life is different now.
I am surrounded by those who matter.
Their love consumes like the ocean.
I am planning on drinking it in.
What happens next is meant for me.

With the window down,
Emotion pours onto the street.
It is displayed in two-part harmony.
A representation of who I am;
Something for all to hear.
There are those who disagree.
Despite the volume, the message isn’t meant for them.

It is the pain I feel.
The joy in my soul.
The lies I tell myself.
An ideal.
These songs are me.
A hum and a stretch of road,
Meant to signify the coming of life.

So much to experience with the windows down.

Being an older brother is tough.

Assuming the role of child and parent at the same time.

You are no saint.

Often expected to be one.

All the pressure, take me back.



Playing in the backyard.

Expected to be a mediator.

You needing some idea of childhood.

Wondering if you’ll ever get one.

All the pressure, take me back.



They look up to you.

Offering words of wisdom when possible.

Letting them fail as you did.

Protecting them as you should.

All the pressure, take me back.



Soon, you’ll be grown.

Love will mean more.

Adult decisions looming before you.

Tears dropping to the carpeted floor.

Pressure I never asked for.

A never-ending source of energy.
A flurry of activity above.
A flurry of activity below.
Constantly pushing forward;
Waves cycling toward the shore.

Standing, sand ankle deep, cold and salty water wash over me.
At this moment, I feel free.
My sins are baptized in the ocean.
The burden is lifted from my shoulders;
A mind left to wander.
I possess a body willing to do the same.

A never-ending source of pain.
A flurry of life above.
A flurry of life below.
Drawing strength to push forward.
Waves cycling toward the shore.

We are born to die;
Such a defeating way to look at the world.
It ignores the possibility of progress and hope.

We are born to live.
In that view, we move humanity forward.
Generation after generation is born again.

We are born to prosper.
Here, we can make ourselves better.
Humanity is given a chance to change.

We are born to embrace the long view.
What we do now holds weight.
The world is offered a fighting chance.

For me, nothing is more powerful than my regret.

It feels like Everest and I can’t climb.

Living has become the hardest part.

It is measured in breaths successfully taken.

This is what winning feels like.



As hard as I wish, the past isn’t done with me.

You will never leave that moment in time.

We are like anchors forgotten in the sea.

What might have been felt as real and constant as a pulse.

Thunderously beating, I rise and collect myself.

Now, we pretend to be strong.

Not just for me, but for all of us.

Because we all have regret and lives to live.



Below me is a casket; it is holding you.

The words cascade from my mouth like never before.

In and out of an out of body experience, you guide me through.

I wish I could have done more for you.

This is my regret.

With hesitation, we pull away from the drive.
The destination is known.
The journey is not.
I am alone on this trip but I am not alone.
With me, is every person who has ever impacted my life.
We are now on the open road.

Hesitation is the byproduct of change.
Comfort is king and I am looking for a new crown.
Part torture, part release, I never tire of the thrill.
New places, new faces, new ways of doing things.
The reunion is filled with old routines.
We are pulling into a new home.

With hesitation, I unpack my life.
I am praying for an embrace.
We need someone to calm the storms.
Here, we begin again.
Home is established far from it.
We are masters of a new universe.