We are the undesirables
they've tried pushing us down
yet we bounce back to the surface
see us on the streets, at the parks, library, or riding the bus
Our currency is cigarettes
because when all you have is
the monotonous cycle of the day,
those drags are the only thing that takes your breath away.
The undesirables
swim in the tank of society as the sucker fish
feeding on the scraps left behind by others
Driven to madness
they turn to an addiction for an escape from all the horrible experiences in our everyday "life"
****, coke, ******, norcos,
any of it would work for the undesirables
Forced into the stereotype and role that the free put on us, we wallow
we wallow in our own sickness of body, mind, spirit
while they laugh.

After all, we're the undesirables.

I dare you
Balance my words on the tip of your tongue
Ill show you how hard it is to talk
when youre numb
Ive been holding these words for the past how many years
These words will stab you and bring you to tears
Ive been through and seen things that would make your skin crawl
My words, they hold violence not a sweet thing at all
So i dare you to balance my words on your tongue
Now you will see what you will become

I moved my bed
To the other side of my room
To help my sleep,
To help me feel
Like that wasn’t where
I was violated.

You would think that in the months
That followed
After I truly understood
What he had done to me,
I would’ve run from the bed
It happened in.

But no.

I spent most of my time there.

I quit my job,
And slipped in and out of sleep
All day, every day.
I shut down.
I spent almost all of my time
In bed,
Letting my life
Pass me by,
Because I couldn’t stand
Participating anymore.

That corner of my room
Across from where I sleep
Still haunts me.

Thinking of what happened there,
Talking
About what happened there,
Makes me want to
Burn the sheets,
And peel off my skin,
Rip off the face he kissed,
And staple my legs closed.
So that no one,
No one,
Can ever do that to me again.

Thinking about what
He did to me
Makes me feel like I have to throw up,
And perhaps that would exile
The fear in my belly,
And banish the memories.

When I was a girl,
I tried very hard
To fill this room up
With love for myself,
I painting the walls
With kind words,
I tried to turn it into
A sanctuary.

He tore down the walls
Of my boundaries,
My privacy,
My safety,
And my dignity.
He stole it from me.

I spent over a year rebuilding
And taking it back,
I was doing fine.
I want you to understand,
I was doing fine.

I bought new sheets,
And new underwear,
I moved my bed,
I got new clothes,
I got new medication,
And a new job,
And someone who loves me.

I was doing ******* fine.

And now it’s all crashing down again.
It’s fresh
All over again.

It hurts all over again,
And hurt isn’t a strong enough word.

I want you to understand
How horrible this is for me,
But I know you won’t.

My heart
it aches for you
the soft linens of your skin
the way it envelops
my paper thins
My heart
it yearns for you
the white wind of your lips
the way it soothes
my black wisps
My heart
it pines for you
the pride of lions of your eyes
the way it penetrates
my blank stares

My heart
come home to my heart

secretive and sweet
your eyes are pIeRcInG
slow movements
sensual looks
you know my all
and i know yours

unveiled and vulnerable
your smell is iNtOxIcAtInG
slow movements
sensual looks
you know my all

passionate and rough
your body is eNtWiNeD
quick movements
hungry looks
you know my all
and i know yours

hey
hey you
i know you're in pain
why not let it all go?
you can do it
you know you can
it's right there
just grab it
just do it
the knives
they're right there
just do it
just do it
just do it
just do it