I remember back, to the time when I was numb.
All the way back to one of the darkest times in my life,
I remember the face of the boy who shined through my darkness.
I remember the first person to make me feel again.
It was one of the most excruciating things I'd done... feeling again.
You were like the ocean, and I, a grain of sand.
It felt like you ripped me out of my comfortably miserable little beach
and swept me out into your sea and proceeded to drown me.
But you had no idea of the effect you had, you were just being the sea.
I remember the first time I met you, my gaze swept right past.
And then you spoke.
You made me laugh, and it hurt to laugh but it felt so right.
Even on my darkest days, you'd be there to make sure I could smile again.
You'd always do everything you could to pull me out of my pit.
You became my best friend and I fell so hard, oh how I fell.
That's what hurt.
I wasn't allowed to love you as I'd wanted to.
You had your girlfriend and she was so sick and she needed you.
I watched you, dying to make her better.
You didn't sleep. You barely ate.
I noticed the etches on your wrist and my heart shattered.
There was nothing I could do for the boy I loved.
I wish there had been something I could have done for you and for her.
It's been years since I last saw you.
I still think about you all the time.
I don't think I could ever forget you.
The one I couldn't have.
The one I should've had.
We would have been so good.
It's funny..
I know you loved me too.

Why do I even try when anything I have ever done comes crashing down around me.  
I love her but at the same time I'm not sure if its worth the risk.
She is my sunshine but also my darkness.
She is like a drug to me.  The high is fun but I'm already addicted and I can't stop now.
Thoughts of her fill my mind constantly.  She is my everything but why do I even try...
Everything I do is for the good of her. I try my damnedest to make her happy and most of the time I succeed.
The rumors that surround me are enough to push anyone away so why does she stay?  She says she wants more and I believe her but why does she love someone like me??

She is my life, my soul, my entire reason for living.
Without her my life is pointless. I cant see myself without her.
She thinks she isn't perfect but i see otherwise.  I look deeper than just the skin. I look for her soul and it fits perfectly within mine.

you have no ******
idea how badly you're
******' boring me

Screaming "I don't care"
At the top of my lungs
No feelings or emotions
Easily roll off my tongue

Gonna leave me?
Left alone to soak in my misery?
That's my definition of sanity

Maybe it has something to do with
Being knocked unconscious at fourteen
Taken advantage of
But I only remember in my dreams
Then I wake up with no memory

I don't understand how I'm startled so easily
A simple figure of a man,
All of a sudden, standing anywhere near me
I jump, scream and can barely breathe
Even when I know it's the man that loves me
And would never intentionally hurt me

Panic flows continuously through me
Excessive amounts of anxiety
It's not really a new thing
Not really something anyone can explain
You could guess, make assumptions or try to diagnos me
But I don't think anyone could truly understand the pain

*I'm not so sure if no emotions is really a good thing...

mIt VÆrelSe  
                       roDEr s0M aLdRIg fØr
DeT fLydEr mEd brEve oM FreMtidsTrUsler frA p0Litiet
                            eN maSSe tøj
PenGe jeG ik ke vEd hvOrdAn Jeg hAr sKafFet [eLLer ikkE vIL vIde]

AfLeveringEr fra mIt ANdet FænGsel

MiN   moR SigER  AT jEg skAl rydDe 0p

     MeN hVad FanD en nyTter deT nÅr jEg aLliGevel Rod3r det Til  
IgeN
Im0rn

leave a mark wherever you go. plant a tiny piece of you and it will grow and grow and you will be infinitely remembered. don't be afraid, share yourself because you are constantly evolving. constantly bettering. you are a small creature crawling the face of the earth just like everyone else, but sometimes our footprints are bigger than we could ever be in this moment. you are a humongous soul contained in a tiny vessel of a body, who you are and what you've done will live on. make an impact. live, create, share. you can do so much more than just exist.