mrs kite: Favorites

Dec 2014 mrs kite

things you probably shouldn't discuss at christmas dinner

Dec 2014 mrs kite

sarah bell

things you probably shouldn't discuss at christmas dinner

"hey grandma, how are you this year?"
"how's deer season going, uncle wayne?"
"how many cats do you have now?"
by the way i think i'm depressed
(sjb)

Dec 2014 mrs kite

Untitled

Dec 2014 mrs kite

Madeysin

Untitled

Yes, let's romanticize,
Black eyes,
Red wrists,
Broken bones,
And scarred minds,
Because it wasn't enough,
That suicide letter,
Or the puke in the toilet,
Or the long sleeves in 90 degrees,
The way the kids can't meet your eyes,
Drugs,
Permfume to cover up it all,
While the body rots underneath,
I remember it all,
But romance is dead.

Dec 2014 mrs kite

Not A Poem.

Dec 2014 mrs kite

Renee

Not A Poem.

Am I fat? No, not really. Am I unhappy with my body? Yes. Am I ugly? I think so, but beauty is differentiated in everyone. Am I a good friend? I'd like to say so. Am I smart? I'd like to think so, but no. Am I talented? Hell no. Am I shy? Overbearingly. Am I annoying? Yeah, probably. Am I happy with myself and my personality? No. Should I be? Everyone should.

Dec 2014 mrs kite

ra.

Dec 2014 mrs kite

a wildfire

ra.

i laid awake last night
telling you why i'm afraid of the sun.
afraid that one day it's going to implode and **** all of us,
or worse,
leave me burning in a nightmare that i never believed in
clawing and crying to find a way out
but there isn't one.

i thought that i was brave.
standing as tall as the sky
arms going up and up
for what felt like forever.
my whole life laid out
everything that i ever wanted
close enough to see but not reach
and in the blink of an eye
it's all gone
smoke and ashes filling my lungs
my eyes dripping blood
bones breaking and burning away

god came and i looked away.
i hope you take his hand.

Dec 2014 mrs kite

pt two [idk]

Dec 2014 mrs kite

a h

pt two [idk]

i’m afraid.
i’m absolutely terrified of losing you
you dropping out of my life one day with no explanation
or finding someone else that gives you more than i can

i know you won't leave i believe you with all my heart when you say you're not going anywhere
but then my brain thinks it's allowed to think whatever off the wall **** it wants to
and i freak out
~
i guess im more afraid of how fast these feelings we have evolved from
cute instagram mutuals
to
saying those three words we say that make my heart have a spaz attack like im in the seventh ******* grade having my first serious crush
im afraid of
how fast i said those stupid ******* words that i promised id never say again
and now im saying them over and over again to you
but i mean them i swear on everything that i do mean them
~
i get stuck up in my head
my anxieties are so crippling i'll sit for hours just thinking about things like
the words im using
what feelings im being open about
which ones im not
what if i say something too much
or too fast
****
these scenarios start playing in my head like a broken record every time either one of us says something even remotely close to having to do with how we feel about each other
~
every single person that's ever been in my life
no
they've broken me
each and every one of them
separately
and i used to try so hard to find the courage to trust people but every time i did it'd get torn down again
but i trust you
i trust you and it's terrifying
i want you and it's terrifying
of course i love you and of course
(i need you)
that's so so so ******* terrifying
~
i used to swallow a fist full of pills every day to numb my emotions
so i could at least barely get by
the problem (besides the obvious drug abuse) is that while i was neglecting to feel those emotions
i was also neglecting to learn how to feel them
without panicking
~
i am pretty **** weak still
there
i said it
i am weak
i have no idea what im doing
~
im not just saying this
ive never opened up to someone like
i have to you before
ive never really opened up to anyone at all
~
please put up with me
don't get tired of dealing with my scramble brains and thoughts and emotions
im getting there
im trying

Dec 2014 mrs kite

Did Pinocchio's Nose Grow When He Lied To Himself?

Dec 2014 mrs kite

WickedHope

Did Pinocchio's Nose Grow When He Lied To Himself?

Once, I looked into your eyes and I saw arrogance, a layer coating sincerity.
Twice, I looked into your eyes and I saw fear and strength waging war.
Thrice, I looked into your eyes and I saw a desire to repair the broken.

But now I no longer see depth, turmoil, or compassion.
I see another broken soul pretending for the audience,
To play the part they're expected to live.

Occasionally I've seen you break the second wall,
And connect to the spectators looking in on your life.
And your character's mask did fall to the floor at times --
Long enough to get a good look at the boy inside --
Before we both resumed our true professions
As tricksters and jokers, jesters and puppets.
The lights are dimmed now, so they can't see our bursting seems.

The ****?
Idk what this is, but it's true and I like it. :p

#hide #fake #inside #see #role #3am #buried #twoam

Dec 2014 mrs kite

purple

Dec 2014 mrs kite

writerh

purple

i don't think
you realise just
how much you've done
to change me
break me
because even now that
you're gone
I can't help but feel you
everywhere

we were at the park
at 2am
we snuck over the gate
and I swear I've never
felt so free in my life.
leaning against a tree
you kissed me for the first time,
you traced my hair down to my
waist
and told me you loved it
more when it was short
because then I wouldn't hide
behind it
away from your eyes

one night when we
drank so much we couldn't
walk
you told me how you
didn't like seeing me destroy myself
but you admitted that you
loved the taste of *****
when you kissed me
(and the colour of my lips after you did too)

you carved our initials
into the tree we had
our first kiss against
and although I laughed,
telling you how cheesy you
were being
I never admitted how much
I loved it

I remember how much you
loved art
you were always
using the colour purple
you said it made
everything beautiful,
it made everything look like art

but now you're gone
and I've cut my hair shorter
now
just how you loved it
and I drown myself in *****
hoping you'll come and kiss me.
I've bought 20 lipsticks
to try and match the colour you
made mine when we kissed.

they cut the tree down.
and now there's blood
all over the floor
and my hands are shaking.
I've been trying to carve those
initials you made, into my skin
I need to keep us alive somehow
but ****
I can't get your writing right
and I'm starting to feel faint

I start punching the mirror
and bruises are forming
my skin is turning blue, green, purple
...
purple.
I keep punching the walls - purple.

I start punching myself
hoping to cover my skin in bruises
because then maybe I'll look
beautiful to you again.

like art.

#love #heartbreak #sad #him

Dec 2014 mrs kite

paint

Dec 2014 mrs kite

r0b0t

paint

I will paint you with
Pastel emotions
Red rage and
Blue fear and
I will paint you with
Sweeping black curves
Reminiscent of your hips and
I will paint you with neon rage and
I will paint you with soft words and
I will paint you with a white kiss
Shivering as if it is snowing
and some nights I will miss you
in shades of orange
as bright as the rising sun
and some days will be sad
and in those days
we can find each other in purple
And I will paint you with my words and
We will be immortalized in canvas.

#paint #lovers #color #snow #pastel