Headaches, again
Time for another desperate attempt to suppress the need
Block out the noise, drink more water
You are full.

Itching, under my skin
One piece won’t hurt, right?
One leads to many, drink more water
You are content

Jitters, distracted
The sweet aromas surround me, as if they can satisfy
Then I hear the soft grumble, drink more water
You are determined

Smoke, filling my mind
Replacing all that’s been lost in this fight
Another cigarette, drink more *****
You are forgetting

Concentrate, use your tongue
Pleasing him has become more important than bread
A little longer, drink more water
You are empty

Bliss, almost free
I feel like a kite that’s been let loose on a windy day
Eat everything in sight, drink a coke!
You are guilty

Shameful, but act happy
Holding his hand, no thanks, I ate already
Change the topic, drink more water
You are hiding

Pressure, stubborn
He knows my lies, pushing some carrots my way
Chew nervously, drink more water
You are weary

Laughing, releasing
No dessert in this world could compare to how he makes me feel
Bring me closer, drink me in
I am full.

I wish I could purge myself free
Of this all this negativity
Hanging storm clouds stretch endless
They match the color of my thoughts
When I stare I see little contrails
From a lost airplane
Looking for safety
Looking for land

The night sky
Keeper of darkness
A glowing white moon looms
And a handful of stars scattered like freckles
With no silver lining
Black smoke filling my brain
Distortions at their height
As brainwaves shift their dance
Slow to a halt
There really is no silver lining

Subject my body to a cleanse
From the inside out
Bleach my bones white
And splinters shatter
All around me
They think it’s pretty
I disagree

I wish that I could unlock doors
Shut up tight
Shut out the light
Let beauty transcend
Ascend your biggest fears
I wish I held the key to your heart
I’m not skilled at picking locks
But you are

I wish I could be an angel
Fly high and set free
From endless captivity
Reclaim my innocence
Live life the way it's meant to be
Erase the images from my mind that replay
For hours on end
And your face
All scarred and beautiful
With wisps of hair blowing in the wind like a halo

I wish I could make things right
I don’t wanna have to fight
In a world where civilized is a metaphor
For refined savagery

I’m tired of drowning in anxiety all the time
Holding me down
Letting me down
Shackles digging in
Rubbing skin raw as it erodes away
You said it was nothing
You call this nothing?
And you shake your head in denial
As if there were no red lines
Etched on my wrists
No scars streaked across
Little white reminders
Of my faults and failures

My sick, twisted mind
Is starting to unravel
And I'm left with the fraying threads
Of my existence.

why must
the saddest of people
be the ones
who get
hurt
the most?
it is not exactly
fair
you see,
they are hurt
they must be healed,
but some wounds
do not want to close
and choose
to remain
open
and raw.

m.g.

I wish the whirring in my head would stop.
Just like the joy did, years ago.
It's been so long since I've smiled for myself
Now I just grimace in a daze.

I'm tired you know?
Whatever I'm doing, it's exhausting.
I need time to catch my breath.
It seems I've left my mind back a few yards.

They say to fake it till you make it,
But I'm all out of false
I just want some honesty
Without a hint of doubt.

sadly
it's the broken toys
who were played
to the
core
the broken toys
were overworked
overused
but the toys
did not
know
that they were overused
because they
were loved.

m.g.