It's been almost a year,
A year since you've gone.
Since our last dance,
And I can remember every word,
You whispered to me,
As the band played,
To orchestrate our movement.
My arms aligned with yours,
Our bodies in perfect unison.
That was the last night,
That was the last dance,
And your final breath,
I still feel you on me,
It's honestly a tragedy.
I know it was wrong,
But you made me the happiest I've ever been.
I still think of you
Every day,
When I walk through the door,
When my hips shift,
I want you to shift with me.
In my mind,
You're still here.

In walks little ole me.
Then the two girls talking ****,
In the corner,
With their stares burning my skin.
Then the *******,
They've had too much to drink,
Loud.
Now I can't hear my favorite song.
The one the bartender decided to play,
Because at one point,
It was just the two of us.
It was perfect,
But nothing is forever.
No, perfection isn't us.
Its not out style.

you said
it doesn't matter anyway
it never did

you said
it didn't matter
if it was a week, a month, or a year
we wouldn't be forever anyway

you once said
you loved me
on a cold and dark night like this

you said  
it didn't matter

but baby
it matters *to me

When loving someone, we sometimes get lost
I went from someone you wanted
To someone you resented
Because love has the power to change us

And now I realize that I miss my old self
The one you loved before becoming this empty shell
And now I realize I must become that self again
Change for the better so that I will keep sane

And now I realize that you miss that old self too
But you still love me like I love you
And that has made all the difference
That you kept holding my hand while I fixed myself
And become once again the girl you deserve

I am terrified,
When I look into those bright blue eyes.
I'm not sorry that I lied,
And that I created this disguise.
You are the fear held within me,
Torturing my every thought,
For I know what we should be,
No, I know that we could be a lot.
You think that I'm too good for you,
But deep inside of me I know,
That I don't deserve a boy like you,
Not for a girl who lives with woe.
I have known such things for far too long,
After three great years and a million songs.

I keep telling myself I'm okay,
I keep trying to trick myself into thinking that I'm happy, but it isn't that easy.
Nothing is ever easy.
So, I fake a smile all day and get caught in mindless conversations.
At the end of the day it just isn't enough.
I stay awake all night, tossing and turning,
With awful anxiety.
I worry about what could've been,
But mostly of what will be.
I hate not knowing if what I've done is right
And if this is the life im supposed to be living.
I feel as if I might turn down the wrong road,
Like one small mistake will ruin my entire life.
I wish I could believe in destiny.