**** my blood
as mosquitoes do
and may your voice
resound in my ears
as I try to dream.

Flocks of birds
Across the morning sky
Tell me
I’m not in the city any more.
             ljm

My inner voice is speaking to me,
telling me to give up
On all the paranoid things that has been happening.
Feels like I'm a feather
Left upon to drop
But the wind is stubborn
not letting me to be in the place I'm supposed to.
I'm struggling ,suffering
But incapable.
Incapable of being my own,
And to be, where I should.

I'm afraid I won't feel you
I'm afraid  I won't  touch you
I'm afraid I wont  look at myself
through your  eyes ,
in your eyes
clear blue peaceful mirrors
I'm afraid I won't be there no more
I'm afraid us is no more
Deep inside no more
Wondering eyes no more
Just pain indescribable pain...
Your eyes will turn to memory
I will be just a memory
And this life will be no more

So many years went by
I wanted to forget you
I even really made it!
but God being infinitely  playful
First took you away
Then created the occasion,
That moment of weakness
for you to step back
 Dear God  why do you play with me?
What was it so hard for you to stop teasing me? I feel confused  
I took a path....
now I can not choose
Is it possible to follow two paths?
Will they get intertwined ?
Oh God I know you laugh in front of my predicament!!
It does only amuse you
Why even you laugh at me? I suppose it's funny so so funny I even smile
It's you but they call it my destiny!

You look at me 
And say 
I am chaos
when you look.at me 
I am chaos....
Ask yourself why
when you look at me
I explode into chaos?
I  kiss you  
tremble, feel you,
Touch you and
Fade away
Into tiny tiny pieces 
Of myself

Dear Janry,

You're not the most deprived.
So grasp what's left of you
and carry on.
You may be by the ocean in your eyes. But that ocean is you.
So don't drown. But dive deep.
And breathe—
breathe through you.
Don't pray to wake up in a different morning because it will always be the same sun.
Someday you'll be in a sky of
flower trees when time comes your wings are full.
But though you aren't there yet dreams mean your wings are starting to grow.
And though the world is running out of meadows,
You still have an open sky.
So hope
because the world will not change for you.
That is why the lack of wonder gives butterflies the liberty to fly.
And if you feel like you don't know who you are anymore,
just remember that the greatest part of the walk is losing the path.
For sometimes, somehow
you have to lose yourself
to be found.

Love,
The Universe

I find myself...thinking
about you
Sunsets,
Beautiful lyrics

In the sound of
Thunder,
In the calm
of soft rain, drizzling

In all the little things
and inside the
deepest part
of my soul