Remember.the.early.days.
When.you.first.did.a.text.
Instead.of.doing.a.space.
After.a.word.a.dot.came.next.

An ither Burns night,
Has finally come alang,
If you've got an invite,
You'll hae to sing a song,

You'll soon be reciting poems,
Wi a whisky in one hand,
A haggis in the ither,
You'll be feeling mighty grand,

Daein wan o Rabbies,
Or wan you've writ yersel,
Gie it public airing,
You'll hae us in a spell,

Once the night's ower,
Poems spinning round yer heid,
Burns night is for aw body,
It's a pity that he's deid.

See when you've writ your poem,
And sent it on it's way,
Do you ever go back to it,
Later that same day?

You think you could have done better,
With something else to say,
Or do you put it in the bin,
And throw your pen away.

I sent a poem by e-mail,
But when I looked at what I sent,
The things that were in it,
It wasn't what I meant,

The words were all muddled,
They were all in the wrong place,
I hope they understand,
That I'm not a head case.

So I've got just one question,
Do you think it's too late,
To ask them for the e-mail back,
So I can correct all the mistakes.

What's it like to be sixty,
Rolling over in bed,
Struggling wi' the covers,
All tangled around my head,

I'm not quite sixty,
I'm only fifty nine,
Less than a month to go,
Some way down the line,

What's it like to be sixty,
Asking my granny when seven,
Dinnae be thinking that,
You're young with so much livin'

Years have just flashed by,
Getting even faster,
Sometimes no time to think,
Feeling a bit dafter,

What's it like to be sixty,
Hopefully no walking frame,
To hobble down the street,
And forgetting my name,

If I'm deaf at sixty,
I'll need a hearing aid,
If I'm incontinent,
I'll need a ***** made,

What's it like to be sixty,
I'll need to wait and see,
When I wake up in the morning,
I hope I'm still just me.

Hogmanay has been and gone,
New Year's Day is here,
Only 358 days to go,
Till the next round of Christmas cheer.

Christmas Day is over,
Thank God it's once a year,
Thank God, God had only one son,
I couldn't handle twice the cheer.

Palm Sunday is upon us,
Christ's triumphant arrival,
A week before his death,
With no chance of survival,

Jesus died to save mankind,
On that Easter day,
Risen on the sabbath,
Risen from where he lay,

Doesn't look like mankind cares,
For what he did on that day,
With all the wars that's warring,
The world's in disarray.