I didn't stop hurting until
I put you into poetry

Thank you for being there

when I fell

or when I swore I was done

when I cursed my own name

when I told you to leave me alone

when I wanted to leave home

when I formed scars on my wrist

when I made the wrong decision

But

thank you for being there

when I picked myself back up

when I said maybe I'll go on

when I praised the new day

when I begged you to stay

when I let the lines of hurt heal

even when I had said it's no big deal

thank you

for not letting me be

and i promise
that every single night
before the darkness
swallows this already
blackened world,
i'll tell you how
beautiful you are to me.
i'll tell you how much
i adore you

I want to softly whisper
incomplete poems
on your collar bones
that don't rhyme with anything
but your heavy breathing.

I want to bury my face
in the curves of your neck
because you smell like the winter clouds
and I've been gazing at the sky
since you left.

i am afraid of fall and winter.
i am afraid of the dropping temperature.
the trees slowly withering.
i am afraid of the short days.
and the dark mornings.
i am afraid of reliving the memories we made in the fall.
and how we broke in the winter.
my heart goes cold like the weather.

everything feels fun and new.
i mean, i'm in no way a functioning adult
but some sort of weight has been lifted.
i feel good. i am singing - of sorts - again.
i am writing better words
and smiling more.
there are still spaces to be filled
and a few more caverns to explore
but there is no endless void or black hole.
only oil-lit passageways underground
where i will go when i'm low
in the knowledge that i will find my way out.

To the poets on HP,

I wanted to use this space to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone on HP. Whether you celebrate the holiday or not, we all have many things to be thankful for if we just take the time to look. I personally am thankful for each and every one of you who share your poetry with me and read and enjoy my work.  I am very thankful for all of the kindness I have been shown on this site. I appreciate it so very much.

I hope your day is filled with family, friends, happiness and many things to be thankful for.

Jack

Enough.
One day that's what I'll be.
Enough.
Enough for you,
Enough for my friends,
Enough for someone.

One day
Me being me
Will be
Enough.

Someone will walk through that door,
Look at me,
And love me.
I will be
Enough.
And they will be
Enough
For me.

I won't have to fight
To be recognized.
They will be everything
I have every dreamed,
And I will be everything
They have ever dreamed.

I will be
Enough.

(10W)


...........a   h e a l t h y
........p o w e r f u l
i m m e n s e l y
b e a u t i f u l
...f o r m   o f
........h u m a n 
..........c a r b o n
........d  i  o  x  i  d  e.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sally

Copyright 2014
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

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