I am shallow.
I know I am.
I hate it about me
And I'm never good enough.

It's hard to fulfill
Ideals that belong to the past.
It's time to move on
It's time to do whatever you like.

But the chains won't loosen up.
And there's still a long road before us.
Will you be brave and go forward?
I don't think I can do it.

Neither do you.
Nobody believes in me.
Nor do they know what fuels me.
I keep getting up from the rough road.

Why do I do that?
Why don't I just let go?
I'm not strong enough to **** myself.
I'm not strong enough at all.

I'm a coward.
I can't take it.
My body shakes
My hands are trembling.

There's no way out.
Depression is darkness
That swallows me whole.
It drags me to its depths.

*It corrupts my soul

And goodnight

When I am all alone
Envy me most,
Then my thoughts flutter round me
In a glimmering host;

Some dressed in silver,
Some dressed in white,
Each like a taper
Blossoming light;

Most of them merry,
Some of them grave,
Each of them lithe
As willows that wave;

Some bearing violets,
Some bearing bay,
One with a burning rose
Hidden away —

When I am all alone
Envy me then,
For I have better friends
Than women and men.

I am so afraid to wake up every morning and I am so afraid of the unknown because the possibilities of what can happen in between a small twenty-four hour period terrifies me
and this is why I am so afraid to get to know you because I am almost certain once I do I will fall for you harder than I've ever fallen before
and I am almost certain that eventually I will have to recover from that fall
I have just lost so many that I am afraid to lose any more
I don't want to have to put myself together after someone leaves again
I am just so afraid of loss
and I think it's because I've lost something so long ago that I still can't seem to find,
myself
where did I go?
where will you go?

shattered hands,
          and bleeding glass
                      darkened skin,
                 an unfixable mess

                   useless thoughts,
           your misguided words
                                 breaking mentality
                          until it hurts

        dampened clothes
                               a shattered mind
                    bloodstained red
what once was white,

                                                     no it isn’t
                                   it’s not your fault
                  yes, it hurts,
you’ve been through hell.