tainted black

tainted black Oct 2020

I was chaos in delicate lace,
in satin and taffeta; a pretty face
what they see is what I let
a peek behind; they may regret.

I was chaos in delicate lace,
with smiles charming--- tears no trace
lips with chapstick; smudge on side
nothing but a breathless ride.

I was chaos in delicate lace,
disarray with class and taste
I reek of Chanel and all things sweet,
nothing but a foul treat.

I was chaos in delicate lace,
only but a pretty face
a troubled heart and restless mind,
a woman whose love is always blind.

This one is inspired by my favourite line from the book I'm currently reading.

#woman #chaos #musings #blindlove

tainted black May 2020

Untitled

the stillness of the night iginited thee
the fire beneath thy skin
a phoenix above the frosty sea
an agenda hiding within

May 2020

Samantha Cunha

Silent Violence

There's a violence
amidst the white noise
Open sky
white, vast, and daunting
My eyes are shut and I can no longer
feel your presence

There is a loss of god
in my soul, and an empty
void which only expands
the more I fill
it

The nights melt into
the days like candle wax
and I'm dripping, dripping, dripping
melting, I am melting

Violence amidst the silence
as I seek the long, winded road
leading nowhere in particular

tainted black May 2020

musings (trigger warning*)

I filled in my lungs with cigarette smoke
Then bathed my body with water; it's cold
I closed my eyes, and I heard my self broke
With walls breaking down and tears I can't hold
Whispers came and they had bothered me then
Matched with headache and undying flu
Funny how I felt like caged in a den
A soul behind an eye none can see through
So I took a blade and I nursed my burns
Carved out shapes that looked like comets and stars
The blade skidding in every twist and turns
To be called art when they turn into scars

But right now I am wishing myself dead
To get a pistol and blow up my head

drafted this a year back when i felt helpless, distraught and alone. glad i've got passed through it.

#musings #sadness #depression

tainted black May 2020

hush

i had once told you
that to the stars i talk,
filled with boisterous
l a u g h t e r

something too peculiar
for your ears to hear
yet a daring smile is
what you gave me after

all loquaciousness
in my body
to the astral entities
i permit them see

it was always loud,
an enjoying ruckus
a moment of nothing
but pure glee

but when we met
in an unexpected collision
something in me stirred
and changed me be

i've learnt to talk in a
h u s h
with your name like
a forbidden word to rush

feeling like i don't want
for the comets to hear
and to admire you like
how i admire you, dear

it is hard to secretly admire someone.

#admiration #stars #talking

May 2020

Rupert Pip

gore

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

Get to know me like I do you; inside and out.

#love #gore #feelings

May 2020

Verdant Quo

like an idiot

like water
I poured myself into her until she was overflowing at the brim

like reinforced steel
I bridged my heart to hers and welded myself to her soul

like the sun
I filled myself with light to cover her darkness

like a blanket
I shielded her from the harsh world underneath the covers

like magnets
I orbited her aura until we inevitably collided

like a seed
I felt myself growing up from her

Then, like an idiot
I could tell she felt nothing.

#water #love #relationships #pain #breakup