I never thought
I would love again
until I looked in to
the deep blue eyes
of a little boy
that I created
with my own body

At what point
do you stop feeling
because I never noticed
until now

I wake up
to the feeling of his arms
wrapped around me and
his lips tangled up in my hair
like last night
is wiped from his memory
and the only evidence remaining
Are my red eyes
and swollen cheeks
and broken heart

I hate you
for the nights you let me
cry myself to sleep
while you lie awake next to me
pretending not to hear my gasping breaths

I hate you
for making promises
you knew you'd never keep

I hate you
for making me feel
so empty
so worthless

But I love you
for our first date
and you kissing me
on my parents' porch

I love you for the night
you got down on one knee
and asked me the question
I had been waiting for

I love you
because without you
I have a hole in my heart
where our love
once was

Have you ever been
so in love with someone
that every breath they take
sends shivers up your spine?

Have you ever lost
that same person
and literally felt
an empty space in your heart?

Have you ever cried so hard
you tremble with every breath
and your chest heaves
as you struggle to be quiet
because the person you lost
is laying right next to you
but they're a million miles away?