And I think I'll call these the lost nights.

The nights where the silence is all consuming. Shapeshifting into black holes.

The only light at the end of this tunnel used to be the sound of your voice.

But now I'm stuck between the four walls of my mind that taunt me with the secrets they hold in the form of my memories.

The most prevalent one says that you'll never call.

So far it's been right. Sometimes I ignore it.. But nights like these, it ricochets like gunshots. Screaming to be more than heard..

Screaming to be felt.

And once again I'm reminded that I'd rather it be your voice that broke the silence instead of my memory of it.

I think I'll call these the lost nights.

The day I lost him,
drop by drop,
My heart aching,
my brain conflicted
and body helpless.
I watched as he looked at me.
A smile escaped his lips,
and he left me a dying message
"My love, live for yourself, don't try to satisfy this greedy world."
With that his eyes closed.
Each day I replay those moments,
wishing I could save him,
only if I could rewind time.

it doesn't make sense for me to feel this way
because you're not even mine
but i still can't help feeling the way that i do
like i'm drowning and the water is digging into my lungs like a knife
i'm tired of the way my heart wants something that it can't have
making me feel sad at night over things within my grasp
but can't really hold with my hands

Hardly enough time to write
Put down in words how I feel inside
Lonely and confused
Sore and tired of getting bruised
Not on the skin
But somewhere deep within
I have felt myself slowly withdrawing
Begging my inner voice to ignore the final calling
Saying take a deep breath and forget the girl
How can I do that if she was my world
Only concern was her for such a long time
Now she's gone and I can't seem to unwind
Myself from the tangled mess she made of my heart
I need to move on, but instead I'm falling apart

On the third of June, at a minute past two,
where once was a person, a flower now grew.

Five daisies arranged on a large outdoor stage
in front of a ten-acre pasture of sage.

In a changing room, a lily poses.
At the DMV, rows of roses.

The world was much crueler an hour ago.
I'm glad someone decided to give flowers a go.