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I don't know
where lavender grows,
I know only where it dies.

Where dusk holds on
'til it reaches dawn
& swallows up her light.

I don't know
where lavender grows,
I know only it's demise.

When sunrise brings
forth the colour in the rings
of my violet, violent eyes.

▪︎
• mica light •
▪︎
You think that I'm guilt tripping,
But I'm just trying to keep from slipping.

You think it's about you,
But I live in a different truth.

It's cold and without sun.
Population:   1

▪︎ mica light ▪︎
On the day the storm came
You swallowed all the rain
And you tucked the clouds away
Behind mountains.

When the chaos blew in
You set sails to catch the wind
And you harnessed my sins
Into guidance.

I made my way home
Walking on stepping stones.
A path I'd never known
To exist.

And upon my return
My chest beat and it burned.
An insantiable yearn,
Did persist.

So we meet in the shadows,
Breathing air only we know
& with the strike of an arrow
I bleed.

Then I start proceeding
To wrap up my feelings
In the shirt that I bleed in
And weep.

Cause when I get giddy
This sudden fear hits me.
My mind becomes dizzy,
Confused.

So these feelings, I lock
in a heart shaped box
With a kiss on the top
For you.

You couldn't resist
To unlock this gift.
The key was your kiss
To open.

But the diamonds you find
Are a deadly disguise
And a gun lies inside,
Unspoken.

Honey dripped breath
As I start to undress.
Unaware, you accept
This token.

You won't throw it away
So the ground starts to shake
And all that became,
Gets broken.

What lies in your grip
through your fingers,   slips.
Hungry... I am your fix.
It taunts you.

I can only submit
When you hold back my wrists
And make me admit
That I want you.

You feed this connection
I keep asking the question:
What is your intention
With me?

Cause you leave an impression
And my skin is indented
With all your affection
For me.

When its all said and done
Will you've had all your fun?
Would this be all for none,
Obsolete?

Is this true or this false?
Am I just your default?
How would 𝘺𝘰𝘶 recall
This story?

My heart, here it stands
In a dark red romance.
I put the gun in your hands,
And surrender.

Just hope you consider
The tip of your finger
When you tease the trigger...

           𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿.

▪︎ micalight ▪︎
12•03•24
The heart shaped box, you chose to enter.
𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 did you go?

Please can you tell me,
𝕨𝕙𝕪 are you
now
so estranged?

𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 happened?

Please can you tell me,
𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 exactly
did
everything change?

𝕎𝕙𝕠 are you now?

Please someone tell me,
𝕙𝕠𝕨 my mother
can
reclaim her name.
The first piece to finally make its way out of my grieving heart.
𝗜 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗱𝗼𝘄𝘀
𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀,
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘣𝘸𝘦𝘣𝘴
𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘵.

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝗲,
𝘀𝗼 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝗮𝘁
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘵
𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯
𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘵.

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗲,
𝘄𝗿𝗮𝗽 𝗺𝗲 𝘂𝗽 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗵𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗺.
𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥
𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦,
𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴.

𝗜 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀
𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗼𝗯𝗲𝘆𝘀.
𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘤,
𝘪𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴
𝘢 𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘳.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗽 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀
𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲
𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘵,
𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳
𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘵.

𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗱,
𝗜 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯
𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘦
𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘵.

𝗜 𝘁𝗿𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝘄𝗵𝘆, 𝗯𝘂𝘁
𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝗻𝗼 𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗶𝗻.
𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦
𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵
𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳.

𝗜 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗰𝘁𝘀.
𝗜 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱'𝘃𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿,
𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘰𝘧𝘧
𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴
𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝙛𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙨.
You wake to the scent
of our bodies enmeshed.
This craving enslaving
your dreams.

It smells of hot cocoa
with a spicy aroma.
Topped off with a shot
of whipped cream.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎
It seems to me
if I'm to love,
it means I have to lose.
𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲?
That im capable
to put anothers needs
before my own?
𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥?

It seems to me
if I'm to love,
it means I dont come first.
𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘀𝘁?
To honour
my own desires
before those of another?
𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘢𝘥?

It seems to me
that the qualities
so loved of me
came to be
when I met my needs.

It seems to me
that I'll cease to be
all the things
I'm loved for being..

𝗜𝗳 𝗜'𝗺 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲.

.

▪︎ mica light ▪︎
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