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and yet....
    everyday
I   F
       A
           L
         L

    deeper
Into Your Eyes
      Into Your Words
             Into Your Voice
    The feelings my heart.
            and mind
      have created
Leave me very little choice
          I cannot control
   the musings in my soul
        the desperation in my heart
     or the erratic thoughts in my mind
           That keep tearing at my insides
      Making me want to fall apart
                perfection
                         =
                      you
      Especially, in regards to me
I just wish you could see
          I know I sound crazy
     But, sometimes we just can't help
            how we feel
       It's too much to ask of you
   But I'm a fan of the truth
          and I know these emotions
      that I'm trying to conceal
          desire
               chemistry
                      love
        they're all real
  I tried and tried and tried
         but I just can't control
            what's deep in my soul
     and how my heart feels...


Just thought you should know...
 Dec 2014 Meghan Johnson
Chloé
he said "look at the picture she is the devil that makes me weak"
she said "why"
he replied "because she makes me sin"
she looked at the picture and saw herself
looked at him and kissed him
..
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"
 Dec 2014 Meghan Johnson
AFJ
Winter.
 Dec 2014 Meghan Johnson
AFJ
It's been so long, too long..
if only this breeze would prolong its stay...

thoughts like, man a year ago the weather during this time,
was colder than today..

65 degrees. a New Yorker may laugh...
but a Cali kid is out here freezing his ***.
bonfire in the backyard watching the time pass,
the fire flickering, whispering the secrets of the past.

you should listen.

maybe you too will fall in love with the wind.
fall in love with giving thanks and hugging your kin.
fall in love with gifts, Santa, candles and grins,
finally make a resolution to put behind all your sins.

60 degrees. it gets colder as the night progresses..
you capture the essence, of the night..
and realize its adolescence.
it hasn't yet began to even grasp adult lessons..

55 degrees, feeling weak in the knees,
its been a week, since the tree outside had any leaves.
no fireplace, no heater just a ******* and cheese,
and take your *** to bed early before you get the real breeze.

50 degrees, I'm freezing to death,
more depressed now knowing that my babygirl left,

so I'm here all alone.
me, chardonnay and a cup.
fog surrounding, branches howling waiting till winter is up.




-afj
 Dec 2014 Meghan Johnson
AFJ
This isn't love, This isn't hate.
This is that sorta thing hard to relate.
This isn't luck, this isn't fate,
This is that sorta thing hard to escape.

This is the truth, this is a lie,
This is my reason for getting on by,
This is a low, this is a high,
This is the reason I ask myself, why?.

This is a story that shouldn't be wrote.
This is a saying that you shouldn't quote.
This is a struggle that I've never spoke,
This is the reason I'm rowing the boat.

Why am I rowing the boat?

Refusing to sink,
3 a.m and i think,
By 5 a.m &I; might be crouched over a sink,

What of this life,
So called living,
so called, i haven't felt full since thanksgiving.

So called, so called...
God did his roll call,

And for a second I hesitated.
And whispered, Here... You?
The reply i got was..

I Hear You.



-afj
Reggae night, rasta night,
Blunts are rolled, tru de night.
Round young spliffs, rolled so tight,
***** and ****** hit me so right.
Smoke in heavenly peace,
Smoking in heavenly peace.

Reggae night, rasta night,
Island boy, raised up right.
Radiant beams from thy holy ****,
All night long, we be singin' dis song.
Poundin' dat kush so hard,
Pounding that ****** so hard.

Reggae night, rasta night,
Slappin' de bass, it's quite a sight.
Kush smoke climbs to de heavens above
Jaco greens out, Hallelujah.
Reggae the Savior is born,
Rasta the Savior is born.
Shhhh, it's a reggae night. Happy Holidays

— The End —