I must admit
I'm a little terrified
To have you in my life again,
Because,
You knew me before I changed.
The person I used to be.
And I can never,
Live up to the old me,
Ever again.

I have taken on so many identities,
Worn so many masks,
Covered up my emotions,
For so long.
I do not even know
Who I am anymore.

If you looked closely,
You might notice,
The dark circles under her eyes,
The creases in her forehead.

If you paid attention,
You might notice,
Her bitten down fingernails,
The dead look in her eyes.

If you really looked at her,
You might notice,
The tear streaks beside her eyes,
The tiny scars on her arms.

If you watched her,
You might notice,
The way she looks sad when someone says love,
The frown she wears when no one is watching.

But if you didn't pay attention,
You would see,
A kind, humorous, and loving girl
Who has so much ambition.

I have many secrets
That I have never
Told a single soul
But I have many lies
That everyone seems to know.

Don't forget my smile,
Especially on my rough days,
Don't forget my laugh,
When we were being rowdy,
Don't forget my friendliness,
Even when people didn't deserve it,
Don't forget my quirky habits,
That I always found fault in,
Don't forget how I chose my words,
And how I made every sentence count,
Don't forget how I wrote,
The flow of words on paper,
Don't forget my favorite things,
All the colors and my jersey numbers,
Don't forget my obsessions,
The many hours of reading,
Don't forget my love for others,
And how I was fascinated with other lives.
Don't forget my love for food,
The way I would criticize everything,
Don't forget my life,
Don't forget how much I lived,
Don't forget me,
When I'm gone.

Losing something you love,
Or someone, rather,
Gives you many emotions.
At first you are sad,
For no longer having,
Then you get angry,
Because your love was taken.
Later, depression sometimes sets in,
Because you have been without.
It may seem these emotions
Will never end,
But, it does.
It may take days, weeks, or years
When you begin to feel nothing.
Empty.
And you realize,
A part of your soul
Had been lost too.

I stood at the edge of the cliff
Thousands of feet in the sky.
And I asked myself,
How do I know
I cannot fly,
If I have never tried?
I pondered on the question,
And realized,
I needed to find out.
So I jumped.