I've been here for several months.
I feel as if I'm being smothered by the horrendous scenery around me!
Nothing but walking corpses all fallen victims to "****" !

there is no gently
and no rowing on
this polluted and
half-dried stream

we survive only
by hydrating, but
if it's bottled up

then it must be
right and we're
'merrily, merrily,
life is but a dream'*



●○
°

I only miss you
when I wake
and imagine you
warm beside me
When my phone rings
but it's not you calling and
in the breath I hear you take
Before you say goodbye
when you pull away
knowing you have to go
your eyes shining brightly
with bittersweet light
walking down my steps
and turning to smile
When I close the door
then close my eyes
and feel eternity
the minutes after
you leave my arms
the hours, the days
the deathly quiet night
When I turn my head
and catch your scent
lingering on my skin
like the residue
of a beautiful dream
I only miss you
when I'm awake

I love music
I like to hide
From my sour thoughts
In the beats of others.

Love is a silhouette
And she dances on my shoulder
Stability is a shadow
And he likes to play a game
Insanity is a ghost
I'll never see him tamed.

Left in the dark
walking, crawling, crying
Out of breathe
trembling, suffocating, dying

A faint sound
beating, stimulating, overwhelming
A spark of light
running, living, smiling

A rose that grew through concrete..

when you ask me: how do you feel?
what i say is: I'm good, how are you?
when i really mean: I'm scared. of loosing the fight,
i  feel hopeless, i almost lost last night.

when you ask: do you want to eat?
what i say is: no I'm not hungry. i had a big lunch
when what i really mean is: yes. i haven't eaten in days.
please tell me to eat because i will if you tell me to.

when you say: you look sad, are you aright?
what i say is: yeah I'm fine. i just finished a sad book.
when what i mean is: no. I'm not. please help me because
i feel lost. and alone. I'm scared.

when you ask me: why don't you smile more?
i say: i don't know
but i really mean: i feel to alone to smile.
and i don't have the energy to.

when you ask me: what wrong?
all i say is: nothing
but inside I'm screaming: i feel like i can't breathe.
the sun is to bright it hurts my eyes. can you help me?

so listen to my words and if i ever say: I'm alright
know that I'm most definitely not alright.
its okay its not your fault you didn't hear
i hid my thoughts
but i live in fear.