there are two types of sadness

there’s the kind of sadness
we ignore and
try to get rid of it
by finding new things to do
or we find someone to talk to
by blatantly avoiding any type of conversation
about feeling sad
about having any feelings at all
and then there’s that kind of sadness
that takes over
and it consumes any activity we do
we know it’s there
and there’s no possible way to avoid it
so we feed it exactly what it wants
it craves the sad music
it craves the isolation
it craves the anxiousness
and the sadness comes storming in
it has no manners
here we are calling sadness, an “it”
when all it is
is a feeling
that most people
call home

Don't let others determine
Who you are
Find your own path
Find your own way
Define yourself

It's 11:11
and for the first time
after a very long time
I'm wishing for myself
and not for you

I’ve been a patient of pain far too long
And though pain has no home for me any longer
I’ve found that I just don’t know how to fully let go
Of all our memories
And moments
Of all the late night sessions of crying
It had me in
Of all the victories I claimed for embracing it
Bracing through the night with it
Of all the art we created
My longest term relationship
The most toxic person I dated
Probably heard I love you less
Than I hate it...
Though I can’t really hate it
Look at how far we made it
I promised myself when I got free from you
I wouldn’t look back
I wouldn’t even think about you
But here I am one last time
Dedicating a page to you
How am I supposed to live without you
How am I supposed to have a reason to heal
without you
How am I supposed to ever feel like I don’t need you
How am I supposed to create without you
How am I supposed to relate to other hurt people without you
What do I have left to say without you ...
How am I supposed to cry without you
How am I gone die without you ????

Stop thinking you’re not enough.
There’s different ways to be funny, different ways to be beautiful
And different ways your talent is expressed from within you

Stop thinking your not enough
Everyone got it rough
One way or another
We all came from a mother
Caused great pain to a mother

Begged for a lover
Just to become
Someone’s mother
Or someone’s father
And someone’s none of the above
Or someone’s other

But more or less someone’s.

Stop thinking your not enough
We all struck by diseases
We all praise some version of Jesus
Even those godless
Get goosebumps
And butterflies in their stomach
And seek purpose and wonder

We are all human
And at some point we
All turn fragile

And at some point we can tell each other we are not made of porcelain
And to be strong

Life’s a journey
but it’s not that long

I tell myself this
When I want to stop thinking
I’m not enough...