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 Sep 2018 sara
carminayasmin
Baby,
the moon is in retrograde
with you tonight.

because you have my head spinning and

I just looked out
to find the stars have spilled out into your name.
1 September, midnight
I love you
 Sep 2018 sara
carminayasmin
again,
you hold my vulnerability at gun point
and I've felt you collide your tips with the trigger,
so very many times.
but its all just so helplessly beautiful
that I never refuse the bullet

{bangbangbang}
 Sep 2018 sara
carminayasmin
when I have it,
in pencil
I draw it all out perfectly on paper

-but then again you hold the eraser
and you vanish it all back to nothing
regardless.
I wrote it all in pencil so I could erase it all one day before you did
 Sep 2018 sara
carminayasmin
he taught me, showed me vividly
that the most harrowing ache
can become the most beautiful masterpiece.

he put tools in my hands,
held them and demonstrated before me how
my throbbing cries my desperate grieving
can be carved masterfully into art.
-
I'm hammering and outlining and carving
each day,
I'll display it one day when I finish.

I just hope you'll see the day
end
 Sep 2018 sara
carminayasmin
These nights I pretend to myself
and whisper to myself that

its not only you but,
alas,
you are confused why it still pervades you.

But I am told that
God calls lying evil sin.
And through Eden,
God tried to say to the world -
that lust is demolishing.


( but who is god to say)
it’s all so beguiling
and delirious.
and god yes it’s demolishing,
when reality resurrects every day and I am
thrown  to watch it before me
even if I close my eyes
or bite my tongue till blood.

only the  false sins I whisper
will wipe the blood clean.
I don’t think god runs this place
who is he to judge
 Aug 2018 sara
carminayasmin
We would dance until the ground was no longer at our soles,
when we would float in a trance of sheer naive
in the palms of death’s hand. slightly teasing.

Grasping vestal youth in our hands with
cigarettes in our fingertips.

Empty glistening bottles, left smashed on begging turf
whilst the substances slur inside minds.
Fallen drunken on the night’s moonlit whispers,
delusional romances, and unpromising fantasies.

The gasoline drooled out his hand needlessly.
It glazed the grass guilty
when we kissed it’s tips with a lighter.

its then those fantasies engulfed the air in illuminations of blaze
then creeping thick grey
and ceased to ash.

Death gently blew the ashes to the river
and kissed us goodnight.

- though now we are still dancing in our circle.
we light  it all on fire again
to disintegrate new dreams
quivering romances
9 June , a story, my own fantasy

— The End —