Poetry of the unstable

Poetry of the unstable Dec 2017

I walk this field
All turned to ash
The fire will never yield
So I turn and I ask
“How did this forest
Once beautiful and strong
Become so dark?”
It just all seemed wrong
There was none to answer
My question was fate
It cried to wind
Still not answered to date
So I strolled on in the ash
Walking through the burning
All in worse state than trash
As I walked I began to weep
No longer able to stand
All the pain that I saw
I fell with my head in hand
And I wept and I cried
At seeing all this beauty
And imaging how it died
I couldn’t imagine
Anything good coming from this
So I cried and I wished
That it would just burn me up too
Then maybe I wouldn’t have to see
And I could just be
It would all be well
If I never had to tell
And I never had to see
All the ash
And blatant misery
But from my sobbing I paused
When I looked up
And to my surprise I saw
A young flower
A daisy
All yellow and golden
I was suddenly cold then
As chills ran down me
And I could no longer weep
I stood up
I began to leap
For in the ash
And through the flame
Had produced such beauty of fame
Something so amazing
And elegant
My mind now fervently spent
I saw that through it all
There was still good
And there was more than just the ash

I was talking to a friend about seeing the good in the world despite the pain and anyway that conversation inspired this so there.

Poetry of the unstable Dec 2017

That time of year

It’s that time of year
Or so they all say
But I’m holding back a tear
I can’t go a single day

Without this weight over me
It’s all darkness and pain
The lights are bright I see
But it’s all dull in this pouring rain

In my head are monsters and demons
In my thoughts is the pain of past mistakes
All these bright lights will start to break

The beauty that you all see now
Isn’t going to last
These lights and laughter
It will soon be past

And then again
Will reign in the world
All the darkness and sin.

Christmas time used to be magical and fun to me. Now it all just seems so shallow and void.

Poetry of the unstable Dec 2017

Fake

It takes all of my energy to fake it for everyone else
So please
Just don’t make me fake it for you

Depression is something I don’t feel like I can show most people. But there are some people I just don’t want to have to pretend to be ok around

#depressed #dark

Poetry of the unstable Oct 2017

Can I just say

Can I just say,
Well today was really great,
And I had a lot of fun,
And well,
Can I just say,
I really liked sitting next you,
I know it sound lame,
Maybe even childish,
But man,
Can I just say,
Sitting next you,
I feel safe,
You make me feel safe,
And can I just say,
That I really like your school,
And I really want to go,
I can’t wait until I go,
And can I just say,
That when we hang out,
And when you look at me,
I feel special,
And can I just say,
I really do like you.

Just a poem about a boi XD

#crush #childish

Poetry of the unstable Oct 2017

Walking through my soul

I gaze out of my soul
All I see are the holes
Left in the world of death
Nothing left to bless
It's all gone to hell
I shrug and say "oh well"
As I continue my stroll
Through my endless soul
No longer searching
Just silently lurking
Hoping to find the thing
I know I long after
Hoping to find hope
Some way to cope
And I *****
At these walls that block me off
Screaming for someone to see
And screaming for them to leave me be
I begin to run
And I try and hide
I can not move
I will not be satisfied
With what I see
And the darkness inside me
I leap out of my soul
And stop looking inside myself
And finally I reach out for help
Because I myself can not save me
I myself am not the key
I am nothing but meager dust
In myself am nothingness
I look outside myself
And I see the light
And suddenly everything is no longer night.

#death #soul #walking #life #living #depressed #poem #anxiety #searching #founf

Poetry of the unstable Sep 2017

Chains

My body filled with hate
All I know of is this eternal pain
All I feel is this cage
Shutting me in
And locking me down
I stay here
Not because I am a prisoner
But because this monster
That controls all my actions
Has completely convinced me
That this darkness
And all this pain
And these chains
These ******* chains
The ones I put on myself
These are what will keep me safe
They protect me from going to far
And from letting someone see who I really am
So as long as they never know
Whenever they abandon me
As they inevitably will
They don't really leave me
For they never knew what that was.

Don't let them in
Don't show them you
The darkness will win
This isn't new

You can not trust
You can not let them see
Listen closely for you must
Never let them know

The darkness you possess
Is simply far too much
If they knew
If they saw
Trust me
They would leave.

#dark #pain #chains #depression #death #trust

Poetry of the unstable Sep 2017

Please

I can't take this pain
I can't live this way
Covered in all my shame
Everyone will go away

I don't want to live
I have no desire to keep going
I have nothing left to give
My scars are all showing

So please please just let me go
Don't make me be around you
Don't breathe out your lies
Don't make me believe you care
Let me go away
In the best way I know how
Don't look for me anymore
Because this leap is the last thing I have in store

Now don't cry for me
I know you don't really care
If you did then you would see
That I always wanted to share

All my pain with you
But I kept it inside
Because you don't care
And that's the truth

So please please just let me go
Don't make me be around you
Don't breathe out your lies
Don't make me believe you care
Let me go away
In the best way I know how
Don't look for me anymore
Because this leap is the last thing I have in store

Standing on this ledge
The depths below
I close my eyes and lean out
I take a deep breathe and scream out
Opening my eyes I see the world
In a whole new light
I see the sun as it goes down
And I realize I don't want to go with it
There is more life than this current pain and more to life than the storm and rain
So I breathe in deep and get off the ledge
I walk home and I hug the ones I love
And for the first time I realize
I am enough.

So please please don't let me go
Don't let me be alone
Tell me these thoughts are lies
Show me that you really do care
Don't let me go away
Hold onto me
And don't let me leap
Stand by me when I'm about to plunge into the deep

Sort of a song I have no tune for it but I like the words