This Stage is Called Awakening

This Stage is Called Awakening Dec 2017

Fake

It takes all of my energy to fake it for everyone else
So please
Just don’t make me fake it for you

Depression is something I don’t feel like I can show most people. But there are some people I just don’t want to have to pretend to be ok around

#depressed #dark

This Stage is Called Awakening Oct 2017

Can I just say

Can I just say,
Well today was really great,
And I had a lot of fun,
And well,
Can I just say,
I really liked sitting next you,
I know it sound lame,
Maybe even childish,
But man,
Can I just say,
Sitting next you,
I feel safe,
You make me feel safe,
And can I just say,
That I really like your school,
And I really want to go,
I can’t wait until I go,
And can I just say,
That when we hang out,
And when you look at me,
I feel special,
And can I just say,
I really do like you.

Just a poem about a boi XD

#crush #childish

This Stage is Called Awakening Oct 2017

Walking through my soul

I gaze out of my soul
All I see are the holes
Left in the world of death
Nothing left to bless
It's all gone to hell
I shrug and say "oh well"
As I continue my stroll
Through my endless soul
No longer searching
Just silently lurking
Hoping to find the thing
I know I long after
Hoping to find hope
Some way to cope
And I *****
At these walls that block me off
Screaming for someone to see
And screaming for them to leave me be
I begin to run
And I try and hide
I can not move
I will not be satisfied
With what I see
And the darkness inside me
I leap out of my soul
And stop looking inside myself
And finally I reach out for help
Because I myself can not save me
I myself am not the key
I am nothing but meager dust
In myself am nothingness
I look outside myself
And I see the light
And suddenly everything is no longer night.

#death #soul #walking #life #living #depressed #poem #anxiety #searching #founf

This Stage is Called Awakening Sep 2017

Chains

My body filled with hate
All I know of is this eternal pain
All I feel is this cage
Shutting me in
And locking me down
I stay here
Not because I am a prisoner
But because this monster
That controls all my actions
Has completely convinced me
That this darkness
And all this pain
And these chains
These ******* chains
The ones I put on myself
These are what will keep me safe
They protect me from going to far
And from letting someone see who I really am
So as long as they never know
Whenever they abandon me
As they inevitably will
They don't really leave me
For they never knew what that was.

Don't let them in
Don't show them you
The darkness will win
This isn't new

You can not trust
You can not let them see
Listen closely for you must
Never let them know

The darkness you possess
Is simply far too much
If they knew
If they saw
Trust me
They would leave.

#dark #pain #chains #depression #death #trust

This Stage is Called Awakening Sep 2017

Please

I can't take this pain
I can't live this way
Covered in all my shame
Everyone will go away

I don't want to live
I have no desire to keep going
I have nothing left to give
My scars are all showing

So please please just let me go
Don't make me be around you
Don't breathe out your lies
Don't make me believe you care
Let me go away
In the best way I know how
Don't look for me anymore
Because this leap is the last thing I have in store

Now don't cry for me
I know you don't really care
If you did then you would see
That I always wanted to share

All my pain with you
But I kept it inside
Because you don't care
And that's the truth

So please please just let me go
Don't make me be around you
Don't breathe out your lies
Don't make me believe you care
Let me go away
In the best way I know how
Don't look for me anymore
Because this leap is the last thing I have in store

Standing on this ledge
The depths below
I close my eyes and lean out
I take a deep breathe and scream out
Opening my eyes I see the world
In a whole new light
I see the sun as it goes down
And I realize I don't want to go with it
There is more life than this current pain and more to life than the storm and rain
So I breathe in deep and get off the ledge
I walk home and I hug the ones I love
And for the first time I realize
I am enough.

So please please don't let me go
Don't let me be alone
Tell me these thoughts are lies
Show me that you really do care
Don't let me go away
Hold onto me
And don't let me leap
Stand by me when I'm about to plunge into the deep

Sort of a song I have no tune for it but I like the words

This Stage is Called Awakening Sep 2017

No title needed

If I'm alone
And if I don't talk
And if I just act OK
I wondered if anyone would notice
If anyone would stay
But in the end of all things
It dosnt really matter
Because in the end
We are all truly alone.

Nonesense rhymes
For all the deadly times
The voices in my head keep screaming
And my alarm clock keeps ringing
But I'm tired
So just leave me alone
I think I'll just stay here at home
Go one just leave me
You probably were going too anyways

This Stage is Called Awakening Sep 2017

To all my friends who try and hide who they are

Your eyes tell a story
And I just want to listen
But the way your lips are moving
It's making everything confusing
Your eyes are screaming
There must be so much pain
But the smile that's always on those lips
Makes it hard to hear but when they slip
I can listen well
And I can hear the words your lips never tell
I can see in your eyes
And I think I'm beginning to realize
Who you really are
Its not all that hard
You just have to shut your ears
And spot out the lies
You paint for everyone to see
And just look at your eyes
Which have meant so much to me
And slowly I see
Who you really are
And I don't know the full picture
And I can't pretend to know you well
But its not like
That isn't the intention
But I want to get past
This constant mask
And see into your eyes
And have your lips and eyes match
And be able to tell when they don't

So many people feel they have to hide their pain and their scars and who they really are. But those are often the most beautiful parts of a person and once you can see those parts you know who the person really is.