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Maha Salman Oct 2015
I lie awake,
listening to the unearthen trees
whisper their rose petalled lies
prophesying the return of my hope.
Whilst the wind's mournful kisses
die gracefully
in a futile attempt
to form the epitome of
happiness.
Maha Salman Jun 2015
I'm all alone**
No one is here to stop me pulling the trigger
When I decide that life isn't worth it
When I feel that I should just end
Dying all alone
No one is here to catch me
When I fall into the pits of hell
Crying my eyes out
As the fire burns my arms and legs
No one is here to save me
When I drown in my own sadness
When my tears change into anchors
Dragging me to the deepest parts of the ocean
No one is here to rip my mask off
The one which has a dripping red smile on
Which everyone gladly believed
Despite red paint falling at their feet
No one is here to tell me I'm worth it
To call me a jewel
Precious
Unique

That's just it
No one is here for me
I'm all alone
Maha Salman Jun 2015
Shadows
They're all I see
Waiting
for the tendrils of ash
Following
me
Dreading
the encasing bleakness they enhance
Ruining
My dreams
Running
Is all I can do
Away
Far
   Far
       Away
Not because shadows are hollow
                                                      Dark
                                                                   Empty
But because this shadow
Is
Formed
By
**Me
my poetry is sucky at the moment because I'm suckish all the time
Fell heal over heads
          in love with a poet,
  he's mostly a rhyme schemer
       likes Poe and his dark Raven,
  in actuality,  I'd fancy him more if
    he were like Pablo Neruda, but I digress
I'm much accurately fashioned after Emily Dickinson
        chasing heaven's June bugs toing and froing,
we'd meet at a perfectly superfluous coffee shop
    he'll be murmuring elegiac pentameter
I'm simply looking to devour precious words,
    we'd argue about abstract destinations,  
            straight forward persuasions and
               premonitions of wayward ink allusions,
some days I want to claw mine own eyes out
               amid all that nonsensical alliteration
  others, I want to rip out embellishments
                   of his black heart's magnification,
he mutters tumult under his breath,
     states he's abundantly sickly tired of all my
         fanatical froufroutant  flourished fantasies,
albeit, we're mild mannered artistes
         of overstatement and simplification
               thus, we continue laying it on thickly
I, with my hyperbolic cuppa tea and honey,
       he's all brass tacks, no nonsense black coffee
ultimately, we reservedly seek gratification,
      envisioning who functionally makes it first
to a finished line of manifestations's publication,
           in eternity's poetic intentions and beyond
For my good friend 'J', yes of course its been spiffed up & embellished!
Maha Salman Jun 2015
I grew
I fell
I hoped
I loved
I was accepted
And cast out
I was belittled
And cherished
I was all those things at one point
Now I'm not

I joined this world full of love and innocence
People kept on destroying me
Yet I opened my heart further and embraced
The constant stabs the world creates
I did nothing at first
But wait
And I carried a battered piece of cloth
To clean up the decaying drops of blood
My body made

Alone

Afraid

That was my life
That is my life

People told me to open the curtains to my darkness
They were wrong
My curtains were already opened
Now they are gone
My window to dreams never closed
But it's barred tight now
The door to my heart had a welcome mat outside it
people kept dusting their feet on my mat
So I burnt my door
And sealed my heart
Killed my dreams
**And fell apart.
I fell apart with people knowing how I felt last time. They did nothing. Now I can fall apart in peace because I'm not vulnerable anymore
Maha Salman Feb 2015
Tell me I'm right...
   No! Tell me I'm wrong
Tell me I don't deserve this
      I want you to tell me I do
Tell me I should not listen to what they say
      Honey,lie. Tell me that I should listen to them when they say I should die
No!please tell me I'm worth the fight
Tell me I'm not
Tell me that it doesn't matter what they think
    Oh but it does...say that
I will survive won't I?
     Quickly say that I won't
I am loveable aren't I?
      Tell me that I'm not
But it doesn't matter. I will survive.
      Tell me that I'll die
I will survive
       Say I won't
I will
       I won't
I will survive
       Losers don't survive
But this one does
         You pathetic *****! Isn't that what they tell me?
Tell me that this voice inside my head isn't me.
         Oh but it is. I'm the one which isn't deluded though
I will survive
I won't
I will
You won't
Goodbye
   You can't cut yourself off. I'm you!!
Tell me that this voice isn't me. And that I'm screaming at a person.
     You're screaming at yourself.
Goodbye
*No
I have no idea what to make of this
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