You broke my ******* heart.

And you did it from the comfort of your own ******* garden.

While you had a *******  cigarette.

I was curled into the corner of a ******* bathroom, so no one could hear me cry.

I don't ******* cry.
But since then I can't ******* stop.

I can't ******* deal with this.

Why the **** did you do this to me?

I ******* hate you!

Please come back...

too often i find myself
feeling like my head
is a balloon full of helium
tethering itself to my neck
by a ribbon curled with
an open pair of scissors

too often i find myself telling myself
that this isn’t a good way to feel,
that this is how it started last time,
that i should eat more food,
drink less coffee but more *****.

too often i taste him
underneath my fingernails and
wonder how long it will take
for my cuticles to forget him
and wonder when the nightmares
might give it a rest,
because i could use some sleep.

It's been
1 month
730 hours
43800 minutes

Since I left
Since I walked away
Since I realized, that you,
were not what I wanted
that you didn't treat me
the way you should

I realized, happy
shouldn't be fleeting
shouldn't be just you and I
shouldn't be, just here and there

Now I'm alone
And I'm not sure that's any better.

You were surprised I
didn't *** in two seconds
and then stopped trying.

The next day? Silence.
You attempted suicide,
got in the psych ward.

You float like a cloud,
and disappear like they do:
All of a sudden.

Paying attention,
you'd still see nothing at all.
Just clouds and blue skies.

Writing to pass the time
Ends up being always writing all the time
Constantly working on my mind
I love machines but not the grind

A little love
And elbow grease
Is all this body
Really needs