...And I will look at you, through the windows to your soul and I will speak from beyond the depths of my ocean. Just as Mother Earth has a heat at her core that only the Sun understands, only you will understand as I speak from this place. Only you will recognise and feel the melodic vibration from my every syllable. I will be completely without fear when I tell you that I will love you until the end of the ages, through the entirety of this epoch and to the next one. I will promise you that I will risk everything to allow a moment of serendipity to unite us again and again, as we cycle through this projected expression called the human experience. For it is only you, and it has only ever been you. You see this love I wish to express in the physical plane, will be one so pure, and one so real that it will emit its own force field, an unbreakable one that allows a poetic unity to blossom fruit never tasted before. This beautiful unity - one without *******...

don't you dare sneer
and walk away from me
as if we meant nothing
as if i were nothing
to you

you were a planet
to me
now you are dust

how dare you call my poetry dust
how dare you brush away my love
like dust

I’ve run out of reasons not to hate myself

5 years ago I tried to **** myself but I couldn’t

tie the right knot. I tied it around my neck

but it just kept slipping, like me, slipping like walking

on ice, like my tongue when I talk to you, slipping.

What a slap to my face huh? A suicidal kid

who wasn’t even smart enough to tie the noose

he was going to use to **** himself because

he felt he wasn’t enough, ever.

Failure: My story’s recurring theme

Migraines: My annoying next door neighbor

Migraine medication: His daughters (All 15 of them)

I kept making myself “better”

Stopped the cuts

No more pills

clean

But it came back

I tried to stop it, I really did

Happy. My motto memorized. Happy

Happy. Rehearsed and repeated. Happy

Well, 5 days ago I tried to **** myself. I wasn’t enough

Happy wasn’t enough.

This time I googled how to make a proper noose

wasn’t even that hard, really.

It was ready, I was ready, notes for everyone

tucked away in individual envelopes in my bag

and clear and concise instruction on where, when and to who

they should be sent to.

I would have died. Wrists, thighs, hearts, and eyes

carved

Deaf, I became deaf. From all the screaming inside telling me

to do it and the whispers outside not to.

5 days ago I had my head in a noose, ready to jump

Then you called asking how I was

“Bad, really bad.” I said

“Tell me about it” you replied

5 days ago I was about to **** myself but you stopped me

But you won’t always.