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At the age of 17
IĀ graduatedĀ high school
The fast track for college
To become a DoctorĀ Ā 
Next logical step; marriageĀ Ā 
had a child at the age 19
age 21 divorced
I was never going to get married EVER again
age 23 I met a man
I met him in a bar
Ā I did not give them my phone number
but he listened intently
the next day he showed up at my work
I thought he wanted my parking spot
I said I’m not leavingĀ Ā not recognizing him
I was eating my lunch in my car how pathetic
since he couldn’t take me to lunch
he offered to take me to dinner
from that day on
we were together every day
The third day
he told me he love me
After one week
we were going out to lunch
he said he had a really great idea
I thought he was referring to
where we were going to eat
he paused was quiet
I said that sounds great
He cleared his throat and said
Will you marry me
Did I mentioned he was 13 years older(36)
I said the first thing that came to mind
are you (f word)Ā Ā kidding me
I don’t even know you
but then when I looked at him
I realized he were serious
I told him ask he again
in a year
Two weeks before one year
He was down on one knee
Now? he grinned
He just knew
I rationalized
If I have ten good years
That would be better then most
36 years later
Still together
So much has changed
Do you ever look In the mirror and wonder
who is that
what happened to me
My dreams, desires and goals,
Who I wanted to be When I grew up
I am in the winter
Of my discontent
By most accounts I had a good life I have weathered every storm
I am entering  old age I’m no longer advenseable That scares me
i was becoming a blind ...I did not want to see anything
I was becoming a dumbĀ Ā ... I did not want to speak anything,
i was becoming a deaf .... i did not want to hear anything

but
some were having eyes... who were looking carefully
some were having ears.... who were listening deeply
some were having tongues ... who were speaking very loudly

There were many people on the road but
i was the only traveler
There was noise in me too
a voice of " hide me please "
I could even see if I could see it
It was just my eyes...Who stopped me
I put the hands on the ears
then
I ran so fast
#hidden
I
I
I
The essential me.
My soul and spirit.
Never to be broken.
For I am who I am
And no-one else can live my life
But me.

No gods, emperors or kings
Can rule
Inside my head.

Sure, I can bow and scrape
To my ā€œSuperiorsā€,
Yet in the confines of my mind
My thoughts and feelings remain
My very own.

Inside, I have Attitude
And Assert myself fully.

You may well brainwash me
With ideology
And all manner of social-controlling stuff
But you will never eradicate
The essence
That is Me
Indeed I.

I may have little power
In this sordid world of ours,
But in the Universe of Planet Paul
I am effectively
God.

Without me,
Without my Mind,
My Id,
There would be no Life
In any place
For Me.

Without this Life
There is no World or Universe
As far as I
Am concerned.

For Me
Whatever I do not experience
Does not exist at all.

Think me selfish if you wish
Or Egocentric
Self-Centred
Call it what you will
I have to say it
As it is.

Just be grateful
That in the end
I am a loving soul.

Paul Butters

Ā© PB 26\2\18.
Self Assertion!
I know it’s late..:
I m sorry I woke you.. . ..
I just wanted to tell you..   ....
Your hand touches the space next to you...
ā€˜Shut up and hold me...’
you say
And I feel your warmth ...   ......
All of the above
Put your hair behind your ear
whispers
i want to tell you everything

You turn around and kiss my forehead...  ......  ... .      .....
you already have
you already have
stay with me
*stay with me....I want to show you forever
It's been a month.
It's been two thousand words.
I've grown from this dust; I'm covered in soot.
Still, I have no place.
Still, I fall from grace.
But, it's been a month.
 Feb 2018 Imran Islam
Jen Snow
You

Are
My
Phantom
Pain

My
Missing
Limb

The
Piece
I
Just
Can’t
Find

The
Friend
I
Lost
Along
The
Way

One
Day
There

As
Dear
As
Ever

Unt­il
The
Call
Took
You

Suddenly
Quickly
Spirited
Away

Put
Your
Beautiful
Soul

Into

A

Five-sided granite box

With
Windows
Going
Nowhere

So
Everyone
Can
Watch

The
Politics
****
You

Fast
As
****

Slow
As
Creeping­
Wood
Rot

I
Mourn

The
Loss

Of
Another
Good
Friend
 Feb 2018 Imran Islam
Pineapples
I am more alone with you then I am myself
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