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will19008 Aug 2019
Assertiveness: standing up
for your own rights;
Don't infringe upon or ignore
anyone else's rights, though

It is not aggressiveness

Start with an "I" statement;
It should be descriptive, not
evaluative or condemnatory
More notes from EDE 352, Self/Group Processes, Spring 1980; apparently it was at this point in time when "aggression" became "aggressiveness"...
Paul Butters Mar 2018
Don’t cut all your food up before you eat it:
Slice as you go.
And don’t mix up your curry and rice first:
Take some curry, add some rice…
“But I can eat it all at once this way”.

Cut your box hedge only once or twice per year.
“That will let it grow six foot high instead of four though”.
Do all your shopping at once.
Plan ahead so you don’t have to nip out for things.
“Hate shopping. Rather buy as and when.”

Put your Geraniums in pots over winter.
“I’ll need hell of a lot of pots!
Will break the roots
Digging them out
Of that claggy soil.”

Your Artex could have Asbestos in it:
That could be dangerous.
“I’m not about to drill into it
And breathe in the dust am I?”

What you don’t know when your car MOT and tax are due?
“My garage knows and they look after me.
But I checked them on the internet now.
The garage is right.”

You didn’t know you’d paid off your mortgage
And you claimed for a moat?
“I’m a politician”.

Why do you put all that ******* on Facebook?
“Because my friends Love my posts and say so.”

You are supposed to…
You shouldn’t…
You should…
You mustn’t…
You Must!


Paul Butters

© PB 26\3\2018.
A Slice of My Life indeed.
Paul Butters Feb 2018
The essential me.
My soul and spirit.
Never to be broken.
For I am who I am
And no-one else can live my life
But me.

No gods, emperors or kings
Can rule
Inside my head.

Sure, I can bow and scrape
To my “Superiors”,
Yet in the confines of my mind
My thoughts and feelings remain
My very own.

Inside, I have Attitude
And Assert myself fully.

You may well brainwash me
With ideology
And all manner of social-controlling stuff
But you will never eradicate
The essence
That is Me
Indeed I.

I may have little power
In this sordid world of ours,
But in the Universe of Planet Paul
I am effectively

Without me,
Without my Mind,
My Id,
There would be no Life
In any place
For Me.

Without this Life
There is no World or Universe
As far as I
Am concerned.

For Me
Whatever I do not experience
Does not exist at all.

Think me selfish if you wish
Or Egocentric
Call it what you will
I have to say it
As it is.

Just be grateful
That in the end
I am a loving soul.

Paul Butters

© PB 26\2\18.
Self Assertion!
Paul Butters May 2017
They say that honesty is the best policy.
Be assertive.
Say what you really think.
“I feel hurt by what you just said….”
Let The Truth be out.
I try my best on this…
Though maybe I’m ready
For another Assertiveness Course.

But sometimes the truth seems too hard to give.
“Do I look all right in this?
No you look a mess”!!!
“You always look great, love”…
To tell a Mum she has lost a child –
Oh my.

I know some who lie through their back teeth
And even believe their own lies.
Annoying indeed.
But then again I cannot help myself
From sugar-coating the truth
With little white lies
Or simply keeping quiet.
Economical with the truth
To keep the peace.

For sometimes people make me feel naïve
For blurting out
What others will not utter.
And the PC brigade are always
On my case.

Mum brought me up to say
What people like to hear:
To fit in and
“Be normal”.
To be approved.
Always have the right coloured door
And keep up with the Joneses.

So the rights of this
Are obscured by mists.
And all I seek
Is some happy
Middle ground.

Paul Butters
Life can be so confusing.
Leon Blank Jan 2016
Your ideals don't fit me.
So I give them away,
like old clothing;
whose stitching has run dry.
Your thoughts are small,
and loosely spun.
And it's been years,
since I've been able to adapt;
to anything less than a medium.
Paul Butters Jan 2016
You are Great
Never forget that.
I’m telling you
You are unique
A DNA Lottery win.

You Exist
Are Conscious
And so much more.
A Wonder.

Every bit, you are, of all these things
As Royalty
Or any Power Figure
You care to name.

By all means be polite
To Kings and Queens
And figures of Authority.
But always know
Within yourself
That You are The One.

For You are the only one
That lives Your Life
And that’s the only fact
That Counts.

Give due deference to those in power
If only to preserve yourself
For your survival is
The only thing that matters.

Esteem yourself
For you are wonderful
Assert yourself
For you’re the only one
Who is I.

Paul Butters
Good Whisky tonight!!! Many people lack self esteem so.......
Chano Williams Apr 2014
It brings my heart so much pain
when she passes through my brain.­
So badly I want this dame,
but everyday’s still the same.
Even t­hough I try to change
to keep no shame in my game,
she keeps on s­witching lanes,
which is driving me insane.
When at me her smile ­aims
it just hits me like a train.
My composure's harder to retai­n,
getting me higher than a plane.
She might think I'm strange
an­d I might be out of her range,
and some may even claim
that my ef­forts are in vain,
but as long as she says my name
in my mind she­'ll remain.
From her I can't abstain,
which is kind of hard to ex­plain.
To the wall she has me chained.
She has this beast tamed.
­My love for her I'd exclaim
from Spain, then back to Spain.
Whene­ver too much I entertain
and start to become drained
she is my su­pport cane,
helps to keep me sustained.
Though this world's full ­of rain
she's my light through the pane.
Once she knows my love s­he's gained
in her life she'll be glad I came.

— The End —