I have no mouth
Only fingers that write worthless words on screen
Or to draw boring pictures on walls
My finger tips are the only thing I need to live
I do not mind my lack of voice
Or how when I speak my words merge with the crowd
Because the words I type
Are infinite
So I will live on with no words in reality
And live on forever in a digital haven

Make me realize that I miss you
And that our love may actually be true
But I'm not the only one in yours eyes
As your family dies
And you **** the life out of any girl that comes your way
Just to hide your growing frustration

Yes I know I am growing up
And my childish years are dead
But that doesn't mean I'm mature enough
To pile up my debt
I don't want to owe you
I don't want to be treated like a woman yet to be
Like a doll that still hasn't lost its purity
I know I'm supposed to act mature now
And I know I'm supposed to vote and buy a house
But for now let me sit and cry about meaningless things
Because growing up is scary
And being left behind is easy

I use my eyes to see
As anyone else would
I see the colors all around me and the faces of those I love
I love my eyes for they let me see things some can't
Like the expression on your face when you make a mistake
Or the rare smile that you hide
But now my eyes are tired
Dark circles surround them
And my vision is slowly getting duller
The world seems to be turning into a monochrome mess
I couldn't even tell when the red under your eyes
Had turned to the same black as mine

From the moment I was born I began to die
From the alcohol fumes to the police visits
The smell of tobacco that lined the walls of a empty home
Family problems that brought bruised limbs and false explanations
And while my body was bruised my mind was already broken
Years of being told no one will miss me when I die
Years of wanting to die
I've been dying for so long I'm just a hollow husk
An empty shell of a little girl with small dreams

I will run away
From this ****** dream
This ****** dream that only I see
Cause' the nightmares are after me
They are caused by my own grief
Chained to me like misery
And my demons have the keys

Good morning
Drag yourself out of your bed and face the morning sun
Smile and wave at the light that greats you now and when the day is done
A new day a new start
Be pleased to greet them too
If you look at a new start happily
You will be happy too

Drown
Lose your breath
Don't fight the end
Let the water fill your lungs
See the light
And know you aren't alone
I'm tired of being told that the light is a lie
So I'll see it with my dying breath

I've always been in the country
So the first day I arrived in the city was so shocking
I was so scared that I got lost at night
There were people
Druggies
Homeless people
Others who I couldn't even see their faces
But under the city lights we all seemed equal
Like no matter the background of the person under the night sky we were all the same
We were all relying on the city lights to guide us to a better place

Right now I feel like exploding
I have so many words to say yet I have none at all
Not a single word of the mortal tongue can describe this feeling
It is dread and despair locked together with confusion and regret
But it is still much better then the happiness of water
I'm more afraid of my own smiles then my tears
I don't know what to do or why
I'm afraid that whatever joy I gain will be lost
I don't want to feel empty again
So I'll feel bitter and alone instead

I was always taught that forever was a long time
That it was something I would know until my dying breath
I didn't know it was something so fragile
That in a blink of an eye it would be over
That my forever would turn into another needless memory
That ripped my heart apart

My mother just told me she was leaving
That the pain caused by my family was far to great
That the years of verbal and physical abuse from my father killed her
But while she told me this
Tears in her eyes wanting to know if I'd be alright
If this was far too big a burden for me to handle
I did not react
Just simply got annoyed at the fact that she took me away from my game
I was annoyed that she told me she wanted to die
And even my sister was in tears
But I said nothing
And I only glanced back at my computer impatiently
and I still don't care
I still don't care if she leaves or stays
I only care if it means that I'm alone
Because that is my only solace
Perhaps I am mad or heartless
I don't know
and
I don't care

Only, when a screen can hide my face, I am kind
The words that jump from my mouth burn the heart
They are needles, hurting you so you bleed but live
The words that fall from my fingers are so kind
That they make you feel secure
and I simply can't understand
How that makes it okay for me to hurt you
With the constant assault of my bitter tongue

My eyes refuse to open
The light is too heavy for me to carry
The darkness is what helps me breathe
For my stress is a fog
Which is poison to my lungs

Goodbye, my love
I'll see you in my dreams
Created by a red haze
and a self inflected end

My eyes see the bliss within the darkness
For my eyes have seen such beauty in darkness
Stars shine so innocently
The pale moon a protective eye
but
My eyes only see the hate within the light
Because it is far harder to tell which smile is really bright
in a world lit by fakes

I've never understood the concept of being unique
'One of a kind'
'Irreplaceable'
'Nothing can take your place'
Doesn't it all sound lonely?
Every 'unique' person leaves a 'unique' void
It's like trying to finish a puzzle with the wrong pieces
In the end the piece ends up misshapen
From years of trying to fit in someones unique place
A place where they just don't belong

Open eyes
Closed heart

The clock will change
Things will rot
Things will grow
Things will change
We will change
Whether passive or not
is up to you

Crooked eyes
Flesh and bones
Heavier than some
Lighter than others
Fast and slow
I am everything and yet nothing
I am the light and the dark
I am soundless screaming
I am something
though as too what that something is
I know nothing

Their words are the wind
Harsh tones that only make the grass flow more beautiful

Surprise Attack
you read the note
the rope hangs with a lifeless anchor

Panic Attack
you're all alone
breathless wheezing
empty words

Heart Attack
numbness takes over
heart overloads
piercing pain
silence

If I said 'I love you'
and tried to change my fate
I know you wouldn't smile
or even mutter a phrase
for those are not the words you wish
to hear from someone who helped you
say 'I love you'
to the girl across the room

The strings around my neck begin to tighten
as each strand carries its own song of hate and worry
about things that I'll never be able to do

The noose made by my own self pity grows tighter
and the forced lies escape my empty lungs
I created this noose with my own mistakes

The problems I face are not loneliness or lack of respect for oneself
but I lack respect for the world
It seems meaning less to care for the pictures that break into my mind

Family and friends have turned into actors
and my life is the stage
For the meaningless play forgotten in a century

My grim way of thinking has caused me to be hung
by my own meaningless lines from an empty script
as I forget to breathe

Open your mind
rip out the matter
rip out the thoughts
tear out the dream
leave it hallow and empty
and plaster on a smile
as your world tears apart

Pins and needles
jabbing my skin
poking my mind
my choices were to let the blood flow
or to sew up my mind

They held no false words
simply a harsh truth
but
for now I won't think
I will simply pin the cuts together
and numb my mind

My voice trembles
words spill over lips chaotically
I want to fix my mistakes
and I want to explain
but my trembling voice makes all seem like lies
and the shaking voice that had felt like my own
smoothed out
letting the lies flow through
without my own consent

I don't dare to confront you
for the anger you hold shadows over the kindness in my heart
and corrupts all around you
so I'll stare
hopelessly in love
with the man that strikes at my gaze
and breaks hearts

A watchful eye
on a watchful night
where stars collide
and towers build on your eyes
sleep consumes you
ending your watch
and the stars finally die down
as the world has become silent

Why is it
that when you complained
about my words
and about my feelings
that once I stopped talking
and became numb
you screamed of the times that you loved
where I would talk and cry
as if I had chosen this
as if I wanted this