​
there’s a history of heartbreak
tucked in the creases of her eyes
a museum of the moments,
that she’d watched just pass by her
and each tear that escaped her,
held the things she’d left unsaid
so the words she’d never spoken
stained her dampened cheeks instead

​
you are not your age,
nor the size of clothes you wear,
you are not a weight,
or the colour of your hair,
you are not your name,
or the dimples in your cheeks,
you are all the book you read,
and all the words you speak,
you are your croaky morning voice,
and the smiles you try to hide,
you’re the sweetness in your laughter,
and every tear you’ve cried,
you’re the songs you sing so loudly,
when you know you’re all alone,
you’re the places that you’ve been to,
and the one that you call home,
you’re the things you believe in,
and the people that you love,
you’re the photos in your bedroom,
and the future you dream of,
you’re made of so much beauty,
but it seems that you forgot,
when you decided that you were defined,
by all the things you’re not.

​
when i saw your body for the first time
i realised how war torn you were
how many battles you lose
on your wrist
your thighs
how many fires occurred
on your sides
your lovely sides
and how many times i told you
i loved you because i do
because no matter how many times
you have lost the battle you will always win the war
—

​
if i showed you my teardrops
would you collect them like rain
store them in jars,
that are labelled with “pain”
would you follow their tracks
from my eyes down my cheeks
as they write all their stories
I’m too scared to speak,
would you stop them with kisses
bring their flow to a halt
as you teach me that pain
isn’t always my fault
would you hold my face gently
as you dry both eyes
and whisper the words
“you’re too precious to cry”
if i should you my teardrops
would you show me your own,
and learn though we’re lonely,
we’re never alone.

​
as if you were
on fire
from within,
the moon lives
in the lining of your skin

You are the rain falling from the sky,
Serenading yourself off the shingled roof.
Though I have shelter, walls and a ceiling,
You trickle your way through the cracks.

An empty room gathers dust;
Snow collects in corners of windows;
And my resistance to you
Suffers from your irresistibility.

If I tell myself
          It’s fine
          It’s okay
          I’m alright
If I say it enough times
          Will it come true?
          Will I believe it?
          Will I stop feeling like ****?
Someone please come
          Save me
          Make me feel safe
Because I feel like
          I’m drowning
                    Crashing
                              Falling
And I have half a mind
          To just let my self
                    Drown
                              Crash
                                        Fall
Somebody listen
          To my call
Because I have half a mind
          Which doesn’t want to go
But right now
          That half is losing
So here I am
          Ever so slowly descending
Into empty space I go
          When it’s beside you I’d much rather be
So please won’t you come and listen
          To this lilting melody
          This playful banter
          Between me and my fleeting sanity
Yes
          It’s fine
          It’s okay
          I’m alright

Yes no need to worry
But hurry
          Please hurry
Try to make me feel lucid
          As you tug me back to reality
Help me back up
          Because I did bring rope
But it’s much too short
          To scale the sides of this pit
And the ladder
          Has fallen over
Along with the chair lying on its side
My head is spinning
          And my neck is aching
                    Won’t you pepper it with kisses
                              To stop the burning?
But you’re not here
          No one is

And maybe later
          I won’t be either