Lou Morgan

Lou Morgan May 2016

Unworthy

My demons don't like
the food that I eat.
They taunt me, sending me
running to the bathroom in defeat.

You are not worthy, they say
as I bow at their request.
That food was no good.
now the toilet bowl is my only rest.

My heart breaks, slowly
and pained tears begin to fall.
I have nothing left to give, I say,
I've already given you my all.

I stand and try without success
to wipe my steady tears away.
Looking in the mirror at my swollen eyes
I remind myself tomorrow is a new day.

#demons #eatingdisorder #mia #bulimia #selfharm #defeat #bulimic #unworthy #newday

May 2016

Jeff Stier

Santa Cruz Mountain Epiphany

There we were at the beginning of the world
A forest
redwood
bay laurel
A watercourse chiseled
into the limestone of that ridge
opening outward
to the west and setting sun

We were almost under water
through miles, through layers of green

We sat together
listening
as the alto recorder in my hand
played on its own!

A tune that called
a mahogany-voiced bird
to harmonize
A tune
that gentled the sun into the sea.
A tune
that wove together
every instant
of the days we had yet to live

Lou Morgan May 2016

finally okay

my mind no longer lingers on
my memories of you
my eyes no longer search for yours
and their shade of blue

my stomach no longer turns
when I remember that you're gone
my heart no longer breaks
when I remember I need to move on

I know I'll always miss you
and I'll still have bad days
but although I'm not doing great
I'm finally *okay

#suicide #heart #okay #brokenheart #movingon #finally #antisuicide

Lou Morgan Apr 2016

soulmates

as the words escaped your
struggling mouth
and made their way down my spine
leaving goosebumps in their wake,
I looked away from your
vulnerable face.

we were soulmates, you said.

the possibility that I could have a soulmate
had never crossed my mind before;
it didn't make sense to me how one person
could be made for another.
but when you spoke those words, everything made sense.

it was then that I understood why you were the only person to ever see
the galaxies in my eyes,
and why I was the only person to see beyond the galaxies in yours.

#eyes #understand #soulmates #galaxies

Lou Morgan Apr 2016

Deterioration

I try to put on a front that
I'm okay,
but what they don't know is that
the image of you with a gun in your mouth
has never left my mind.
It haunts me, making sleeping difficult
and waking impossible.
While the days go by, I appear to be
more and more okay,
when in reality your absence is making me
weaker
and weaker.

#suicide #notokay #deterioration #antisuicide