I was not ready for this.
Did you know I had no idea what I was getting myself into?
Did you know what we would become?
Did you always know?

I am still not ready for this.
I now know that I got myself into a storm I cannot escape.
I now know you cannot be friends that kiss and know each others demons too.
I now know that this will end,

But baby I am holding on because I'll never be ready for the nights I drown the taste of your lips with your favorite alcohol.

It's kind of like you're dead because you're not here and I can't feel you breathing anymore.
     
And this twin sized bed seems so big without you here making it seem so small.
         
 And it's like this deep ache in my bones because I miss you so much and I want you by my side.
              
 I just don't understand this feeling because I can't be yours but you kiss me like I am.

I'm sorry* if you don't like me sometimes,
          and I'm scared for the day when I'll see you around and you won't         smile at me.
I'm sorry when I say things that don't make sense,
          and I'm scared for the day when I can't think about you without crying.
I'm sorry that I think I am in love with you sometimes,
          and I'm scared for the day that I forget what it's like to be close to you.